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Puce for Peace!

Every once in a great while, a troll will come along who just clings to your heart and stays there.

Puce is that troll.

He's a new comment troll who came around on this post and immediately tickled my funnybone with the comment:

Americans telling a truth at least! Why as it hurt, you cannot admit the Bush tries start Tacobell in Baghdad? Serve babie meat borritos? Wake out, idiots!

And then:

I as makes all USA ladies for my harem. Smash all capatilist Starbock and Mountian Do!

I thought I had Puce all to myself, but it seems that my troll has an attachment to Jeff Jarvis as well, who posted an entry with the "Best of Puce" yesterday.

And now, like all good illiterate America haters, Puce got himself a blog.

Walk pasts Macdonald shop, many fatty Americas eat of bad, child laughing jump spill Cocacola as of all floor.


I'm sure Puce doesn't mean to be amusing, but he is. I just may start a fan club.


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And now, a limerickal tribute to Puce, from your Imperial Poet Laureate:

Most trolls are worthy of chokin',
And having their arms and legs broken,
But I must tip my hat
to anyone that
can make Tonto sound suave and well-spoken

dave, your limericks RULE.

He's got to be doing this on purpose to be funny... running Baghdad Bob through the Babelfish blender. In any case, it works! Heelarious!

Weclome all Unite States lardy demins!

for a minute, i thought i was reading a comic-relief haiku blog, or something.. "put all foods in to belly".. didn't someone on austin powers say that?

That is priceless.

I almost can't believe this is real. It is one thing to have bad English; I have to admire someone who is trying to write in a different language. I can barely write in English let alone another language. But Puce appears to be writing absolute grammatical garbage. Not to mention his content. Which makes me want to stab myself in the face with a soldering iron.

I do have a good nickname for him…

"Michele's Usefull Idiot"

I hesitate to comment on this because I believe that trolls are only trolls when they get attention, but his/her Wednesday entry (on his/her site) of,

"Brinty Spear turn as eldery, face began to crack show fault of all USA. Placing item in too chest parts for squeeze evil! "

was too good to resist. I don't know about all of you, but I place many items in my chest parts, and I'm not squeezing any evil.

(I have no idea what the hell any of that meant, but it make me choke on my coffee from laughing, so it's all cool.)

Can I nominate Puce for Imperial Court Jester? If that's taken, how about Chief Imperial Village Idiot?

I second that nomination. Every court needs a jester.

Pardon me while I "Wake Out".

There's nothing like a good dose of pure, random unfounded anti-American hatred from an obviously disturbed prepubescent white boy in the morning to get you going.

All I have to say after that is, "All your base are belong to us! Someone set up us the bomb!"

and every village an idiot.

I think puce IS Bagdad Bob!

I see the coward doesn't allow comments on his site. I was going to ask for more information on squeezing evil chest parts.

No, Baghdad Bob at least spoke grammatical (if nonsensical) English...

But puce does appear to the the blogtroll version of Baghdad Bob...

I think Puce just replaced Mojo Jojo as my favorite "linguistically challenged" character.

Baghdad Bob is replacing Alastair Campbell as Tony Blair's official spokesman following criticism in the House of Commons about the sweeping powers the unelected Campbell enjoys. It's thought that Bob's unique brand of spin will help the Blair government through the alkward political times that lie ahead.

That's the reason no one has seen any sign of him recently - the SAS have spirited him out of Baghdad and are holding him at a secure location just outside Basingstoke.

I wish puce would come and try to say mean things at my site. Be sure to share him.

You get all the fun trolls. The best ours could come up with today was "Jews smell bad". And that's with him trolling three of the blogs on our domain.

Omigosh...Puce is like Balki, with worse grammar...and on crack.

Am I the only one who thinks Puce is a genius? I think he's definitely faking the poor English and everything else. I think he's someone like one of us who realized how hilarious it would be to make fun of the "anti-war foreigner" types.

And the result is truly hilarious. Whether or not he's genuine, it's hilarious. Michele you SHOULD start a fan club. Call it "We heart Puce!" hhahaha!!

Thankyou for dumbest lies FAT DEVELS

If you like puce, you'll love this guy...

I think Puce has a fetish for fat people....

Wake Out Idiots!

Must... stop... laughing... Can't... breathe...

Puce is the shiznit. If it wasn't a violation of his copyright, I'd start a Café Press store featuring his best sentences (and gosh, there's a lot to choose from) on t-shirts, mugs, beer steins...girdles, seatbelt extenders, that kind of thing.

Dude...i think i'm going to register FATDEVEL.COM and move my blog there. That just RULES.

I think Rachel is spot on, Puce is faking it. The whole thing, the poor spelling, the non-existent sentence structure, the lack of grammar and random punctuation - it's too pat to be real.

He's probably some trustafarian at Berkeley who's trolling this and other blogs as a sort of virtual Margaret Mead, trying to figure out the culture of us Pro-Liberation, Anti-Terror folks. The "Me soo angry at fat whit devels" act is probably designed to illicit the worst responses so he (or she) can slant the paper without having to invent sources to support the thesis.

Or maybe he is a pig ignorant wog, who knows?

All your malapropism are belong to us.

Definitely a fake, sorry. He can spell Baghdad but not "Irak" [sic]? He puts an "o" in place of a "u" in Starbucks? If he even knows that Starbucks exists, then you can be sure he knows how to spell it correctly. I'm not sure exactly whether he's just trying to get a rise out of people or he's trying to emulate how foolish some of the anti-US/anti-war/anti-Bush people have sounded, but he's definitely pulling our legs.

Still funny, just not authentic. :)

I think he's German. ("Irak" is the correct spelling in the dialect of Klingonese they speak there).

Ok, Professor DeGenova, we're onto you. Joke's over. Get back to work, asshole.

You sure it's not Tim Robbins? His ramblings were pretty incoherent too.

Hopefully his blog has a translate button from IDIOT to ENGLISH.

If I ever work up the energy and creativity to have my own blog, I'm going to adopt the motto "Squeezing Evil Into Chest Parts Since 1957".

He's definitely faking it. But it was funny!

Pig American.

That's his language, not an insult.

I nearly died. Just when I thought IMAO had it nailed, along comes Puce.

Puce == R'Lo

I like his use of "Click." I may go there myself.

Hallo fat America! Chew and smiling for flappy stomich fill with more Irak childs, phoney towerevenge. Statue fallens from Sadam, put Chucky Cheeze rastorant with cola in locate!

Chuck E Cheese in downtown B-dad? I think that would be an act of war in any nation.

Like Imus sez: You just can't make this stuff up.

BOW DOWN all of Trolldom - Puce, LorD Cod Qing of Trols Excorcise dominios over you.

I'm just surprised he's able to write right-to-left. Imagine having to write backwards...

I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Thanks, Michele, for stoking his fire.