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i am going to regret this

I guess I'll go ahead and mention that I'm going to be on CNN Monday morning, 11:30 ish (NY time), talking about Command-Post.

This would be a good time to confess to you all that I actually look like a cross between Jabba the Hut and that big heap of garbage on Fraggle Rock. Do not be alarmed.

I've never been on tv before, except for that one time back in high school when Art Linkletter did this special on teen sex and I stood up (as part of the live studio audience) and told everyone in America who was watching that my parents never taught me about sex and I learned it all on the streets.

Well, I freak out when I'm nervous. I say weird things. I'm liable to start blurting out phrases like "Eason Jordan is Saddam's whore!" or "Bring me the head of Larry King!"

From the sound of the phone call I got today, they want to play up that "Oh, look at the cute little housewife playing with the war blog" angle. I should inform them that I am neither cute nor a housewife, and I'd rather not go into June Cleaver territory with them, lest people get the wrong idea about me. Which is why I am going to wear a black leather outfit and carry a riding whip and tell everyone that Alan is my secret lover who I keep locked in a closet when he isn't tending to CP duties. And I will not let on that Alan is really the brains and the brawn behind Command Post. I think they'd rather not see him in a June Cleaver outfit, anyhow.

I'm kidding, Alan. Really.

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Comments

Just go on there and say what matters - calmly and intelligently. It's the message that is important, remember that. Don't get caught up in concens about how you look. If you can avoid it.

Glad you opted for the leather outfit...

Congratulations!

You must, must must whip out a boobie with my name on it. It's a moral imperative! ;-)

Woot! I'll have to make sure I drag my ass outta bed in the morning for that. I'll whip out a boob too for solidarity! Fortunately I won't be on camera. It's not that hard. Just try not to fart. Think a lot about not farting.

Oh great, and this means more traffic from you guys. You're shaping up to be as bad as Salam Pax dammit!

i thought i was your secret lover, bitch! or maybe that was just secret loverbitch.

now how do i hook my computer up to my television? i should know that one... or do i just wait for robyn's screenshots? i used to have a snappy around here somewhere....

michele! long island! sexy!!!

and if the other one doesn't have my name on it, you're in so much trouble...

ok, maybe me and justin. but that's it. just me and justin. and maybe the kids.

Good luck, Jabba! Don't worry, everybody likes 'da Hut!

But seriously, enjoy. I'll try to catch you on.

How cool. I'm gonna have to bring the VCR out of retirement for this. Most of my friends get on tv after run-ins with the law. If you do say "bring me the head of Larry King, " remember that that many others have probably wanted to say it too.

WOW!!!!!! Way to go Michele! Is this taped in the City? Shall I come meet you?!??!

wow, that's pretty damned cool, Michele! congrats

Rock on. Work that dream! Work it!

Soon you will be invincible.

I don't know what that means, either. It just sounded really cool.

Try not to punch anyone out over there at CNN. Wait, what am I saying? PUNCH THEM ALL OUT.

No more than you deserve Michele.

If it we're me, I call FOX and offer 'em the same gig--then tell Carnage Not News to shove it up their ass.

But it ain't me. And, go or no go, you and Alan have done more, quicker, and with less than anyone could, would or did.

You ROCK!

Way to go!!

That's 8:30 Pacific Time. Should I have my coffee before or after?

Holy Jesus ... glad I decided to check in and see what was happening over at ASV. Closet ... true. Brains and brawn ... false, June Cleaver outfit ... Christ, Michele ... just checking to see if I was reading?

And it's not a visage of Jabba ... she's full of shit.

Cool! So what's your signal going to be? You know, some seemingly innocuous gesture that's really a secret signal to all your fans. I recommend sporadic facial twitching. That's what I'd do, anyway. But then, you're fully acclimated to the atmosphere of this planet.

I knew there was a reason I took a vacation day Monday. Psychic bondage, baby! (Ew, that didn't sound right... or did it?)

Actually, dressing up exactly like June Cleaver would be pretty hysterical. Don't spare the hairsparay!

Don't worry about being nervous. Just imagine your audience naked...then barf.

Congratulations!

If they ask you about the perceived untrustworthyness of bloggers in light of the Agonist debacle put a very serious look on your face and say "That is an important question to answer, but not nearly as important as how you at CNN could sleep at night knowing that you were tacitly acting as the mouthpeice for a homicidal dictator." then smile pretty and say "But I don't worry my pretty little head about that because I am just a blogger"

Good luck I am sure you are going to Rock!

Best of luck, Michele! You'll knock 'em out with your wit and wisdom :)

I'm so happy for you. Now, dammit. I wish I got CNN on my cable-less, antenna-less television.

I'm so proud of you, hon! I'm naked now...in your honor!

I think you should be wearing the TOTAL JUNE CLEAVER outfit...just a little shorter....and no undies....and pull a Sharon Stone "Basic Instinct" move.

Heh. June Cleaver and "Basic Instinct"....heh. Beaver shots.

hi
i see your blog its very cool
visit my blog and tell me your idea

good website

You know, the first time I visited your blog, I saw the binoculars and the word 'troop' and thought "Lawd, not THIS fucking pseudo-patriotic Republican war bullshit again!" and HURRIED up out of here.

I came back because you're the most valuable incoming link of allaboutgeorge.com on BlogShares. And both Command-Post and TroopTrax are great ideas that just happen to be related to a war. I'm not really sure about where you stand with this war, but I guess I'll discover that the more I read your blog. And good luck on CNN - if your intelligence and candor is any indication, I'm sure you'll hold your on and will be more interesting than whoever is interviewing you.

So far, I've only read the first couple of entries, your 10 simple rules and your requisite about page ... oh yeah, and that entry about God Bless America Day. I think I like you.

(Although I'm not sure where you're going with this, but I'll soon find out.)

glances!

(Oh lawd, there's a link to Andrew Sullivan ...)

for those of us without cable, we expect screen captures. i mean it!!...lol

Blogged it, hon. I'll post the link, but as is usual with Blogger, it's f*cked, so look at the first entry (scroll down) for Wednesday. Congrats!

Permalink, if Blogger cooperates:
HERE

Alternate if links don't work:
HERE

Wow! Congratulations! :D

How many other people just ran to Outlook to schedule this on their calendars? ;)

Congrats!

I'm sure you will make us all proud!
:)

Sorry Michele, that should have read:

"No LESS than you deserve."

Congrats.

It seems like just yesterday that Alan was e-mailing me & asking questions about blogging....now he's part of the hottest team around. Couldn't happen to a better group of folks!

BTW, I can express mail my "I'm a Fox Fan" t-shirt to you, in case you'd like to wear it on camera. :)

Woo- and let's not forget HOO! Way to go Michele!

This is a great opportunity to do some product placement and make a few bucks.

Slowly hold up a Pepsi and drink it. Hold up a Subway sandwich and take a bite and say "mmmmm... yummy" while you smile at the camera.

This could pay for college.

here's to hoping they spell your name with only one L on screen ;-) (good luck)

AWESOME!!

Congratulations Michele!

There is no way you could possibly come across on TV other than "awesome."

Rock on.

ah, the sweet smell of success......

just remember to cover the seats before you sit down, CNN might be contagious...

congrats

So, did anyone tape this and convert it for viewing on the web? I want to see!

Yeehaa!

Must confess I'm looking forward to seeing you with whips n chains yelling for King's head. Hope you have a chance to stick their Saddam sponsorship in their ear, too.

WoW! Congrats!

I'm sure you'll do fine.

Oh, I am SO taping this! Be sure to wear lipstick. Your lips are the first thing to disappear on camera.

Basic advice from an old military broadcaster: Sit up straight, with your shoulders back, smile and look pleasantly at the camera, don't pick your nose, and don't say "F**k" into a live mic!

::writes down:;

must not say fuck....must not say fuck...

sigh.

TV attire: Mardis Gras mask, Gaultier bra, long cape, panties, high-heeled, knee-high hooker boots, and finish it off with one of those long cigarette holders. Not even the Beeve will recognise you.

Shit, I missed it. :( I didn't get to read this until I got home today from the movies. Dammit dammit dammit.

Someone tell me, did she draw blood? I'll never forgive myself for missing that...

"Tonight on Larry King Live...I'm missing an ear!"

Just remember the seven words you may not say on TV... referring to the former President as "Monica's Fuckboy" will NOT go over well.

And if the CNN thing interviewing you gets uppity, slap him/her across the face.

Hard.

I swear, if you say "Eason is Saddam's whore" I will pay you $100. We could feed a small third world country with the money you could raise for saying that.

Think of the all the IDF Pizzas that could buy!

Just keep using the words "fair and balanced", and tell them that you were tired of all the shit being shoveled by the lefty news networks like CNN.

If you are still on the air after that, scream out "I love you Bill O'Reilly" and ask if you can have Connie Chung's time slot.

Screen shots...we demand PROOF!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot...congrats! CNN couldn't have picked a better example of a blogger.

Except me, of course.

Yeah! Now, breathe..... Good luck!!! Can't wait to see it!

You rock! Just drink a few shots of Tequila before you go on. You'll do fine.

Damn -- I don't have CNN! Somebody tape it for meeee... pleeze? Don't worry. I'm not building a shrine to Michele. Honest. (Hides votive holders and candles under desk.)

I better get a shout-out!

That's so great!! Congradulations!

OH. MY. GOD.

You totally rule.

They should just replace that oily Aaron Brown with you IMMEDIATELY. He sucks ass. If you'd be CNN's main anchor, I'd totally switch from Fox...

Good luck! Remember: you're smarter than all those liberal schmucks at CNN anyway. So, sit back & let 'er rip! (AND MAKE SURE YOU REMIND THEM THAT CLINTON RAPED JUANITA BROADDRICK - THAT'LL WIPE THE CONDESCENDING SMILES OFF THEIR FACES!!!)

your slavish admirer-
-nikita demosthenes

Wow, and to think we all read your site before you were famous. ;)

Congrats. And break a leg. I'm sure you'll be fabulous. Wow them with your wit. Hope I can catch the broadcast!

Becky

Congratulations Michele! Am not real sure if I should use the old theatre "break a leg" wish, since CNN people insist on using the word "journalism" for the excreable acting they do in front of the camera, but my intentions are sincere: knock em dead!

Can we now say "we knew her when..."????

Could you wear a necklace of skulls? Little discrete ones, hardly noticable? Hah!

I'm with Jim. I think you ought to give us a secret signal. Do the Carol Burnett earlobe tug.

Oooh, Oooh, better yet, do the Tarzan yell. That would be awesome.

If I tape this and watch it over and over and over until there's nothing but snow, is that obsessive? I mean, I'm gonna do it anyway, but it's nice to know things like that.

You'll be fine. Best of luck to you. ;)