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the truth

The truth according the far left:

  • All celebrations in Iraq are staged.
  • All weapons, suicide vests, etc. found in Iraq were planted by the CIA
  • The Bush administration planned and carried out 9/11.
  • No plane ever crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11.
  • Republicans killed Paul Wellstone.
  • The POWs were all faked/staged to get public sympathy.
  • Bush is responsible for the anthrax attacks.
  • Everything is a Zionist conspiracy
  • Everything is a Right Wing conspiracy
  • Bush is responsible for the demise of the unicorn, the burning of Rome, the popularity of boy bands, the poor defense of the Mets, the death of everyone on this planet in the past four years, freak snowstorms in April and your failed relationships. Everything else is the fault of the Jews.

Now you know.

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» Something to believe in from Inoperable Terran
Michele summarizes everything the the leftists believe.... [Read More]

» Now You Know... from NZPundit
Michelle explains it all for you so you never have to read Scoop, The Listeria or the op-ed page of [Read More]

Comments

Poor OFFENSE of the Mets. The defense has come and gone, but their offense has been a disgrace for five years.

Also, Bush made my steaks come out all rubbery.

I knew there was someone to blame!

Oh, hey! Global warming -- is that Bush, or the Jews? That can't be a Right Wing Conspiracy, can it? :P

But...

The Jews are left-wing, and the Right Wing doesn't conspire with the Left except to blow up baseball teams? Is that what I'm getting here?

Unless the Zionists are actually right wing, and I wear a purple tu-tu, and the moon is in the seventh house...

DAMMIT I need tinfoil now, and more toes to count with. SERVING BOY! BRING ME A SLAVE FOOT SO THAT I MAY CALCULATE.

God I need to sleep.

I can't make a pizza dough to save my life, I have shit-brown eyes, and my cat has fleas and worms. I knew it wasn't all coincidence, and now I know who to blame. Thanks. =P

"Astroturf?! You know who's responsible for that, don't you? THE JEWS!"

They're gonna cancel your membership privileges for letting all the (fnord) Secrets of the Brotherhood ™ out like that...

You know, the zero interest loans with no collateral, the free car delivered every spring, and the chance to eat at least one Arab baby at Chanukah...

I'll see what kind of plea bargain I can arrange, but you're going to have to make do with just oppressing a few minorities all be yourself for awhile.

Let's not forget item: "the world was made better by the death of Michael Kelly (fuck his kids' feelings)"

Boy bands?

Pretty serious allegation...

Circumstantial evidence also suggests Bush was directly responsible for the remake of "Lady Marmalade" featuring Pink, Christina Gaguilera, Lil' Kim, and Missy Elliot.

So Bush is to blame for the Mets... Who can I blame for the Cubs?

Come on now - we are coming up on a full century of losing. I need somebody to blame.

I always thought that it was a vast South Side conspiracy run by the Daley Gang but if you say it is a vast Right Wing Cabal I will believe you.

I can only assume from this post that the far right is rational and proper?

now wait just a minute.

we don't blame bush for everything.

take venerial disease. even we blame clinton for that.

You assume too much, as usual Sylvain.

Yay!!! I'm so glad I now know WHY my last relationship didn't work. It WASN'T just that that ass coudln't keep his penis in his pants!! It's ALL Bush's Fault!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Ok, since this was a conservative conspiracy, will the Democrats be approving an aid package for my broken heart?? $10M would do nicely, thx.

First of all...
I only blame Bush for our poor economy, and boy bands. Not most of the other stuff.
Second....

Many of us liberals are jewish.

RE: "Everything is a Zionist Conspiracy."
I always find it amusing that this is where the Cloud Cuckoo Land Left and the Whacko Far Right come together--both of them standing around behind the barn trying to flush out the Jew in the Woodpile.
"Get 'im, boy! Poke at that sheeny with this here stick!"
"Oh gosh, Cletus. That's so rude. Can't I just read Gore Vidal to him until he begs for mercy?"

Well, thank God. I've been wondering about that whole uni\corn thing for years.

mapchic, in this age of uncertainty, it's nice to know that SOME things remain constant.

If the Cubs win the World Series, I'm building a deep, deep bunker. Sure, it would be great (I always root for those poor buggers), but it would have to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

"Cubs win! Cubs win!" sirens *KA-BOOM"

Well, we CAN blame Bush for the Rangers sucking, since he used to own them, and oversaw the trade of future Hall of Famer Sammy Sosa.

He's also to blame for the 8-month Rush to War, as well as the 3-week "quagmire" that ended with the liberation.

You left out at least one leftist belief. Back when Jessica Lynch had just been retrieved, there were claims that the Army went out of its way to get her back because she's white, while Shoshanna Johnson was left behind.

OK, who the hell can I blame for the Seahawks? Or the Mariners?

THAT'S RIGHT, BOYS! 116 GAMES AND YOU COULDN'T WIN THE DAMN WORLD SERIES?????

And Edgar: Take a good long look at the Left, and tell me why most of the Jewish voters are still Democratic. I got two names for ya. Jim Moran and Cynthia McKinney. I can't figure it out, I really can't.

Mapchic & Mike, imagine being a Cub fan for 62+ years! Pop asked the delivery nurse if it was a girl (sexism back in them days) or a Cub fan. Sammy roolz! I gnu there was something I liked about you two. Speaking of gnus, if GW is responsible for the unicorn eradication, I'm going loony left.

At least we have the Stonecutters to defend us from the Zionist conspiracy...No, wait, they're PART OF the conspiracy....no, wait, I meant "Free Masons", not "Stonecutters"....Aughhh, I lost my tinfoil hat at the "peace" demonstration this weekend (as well as my copy of the "Protocols") and now I can't keep any of this straight!

Oh, I was trying to make a joke.
Never mind.

Agh! Straw man burning! I'm a grad student at Columbia - as everyone now knows, the theoretical heart of the tenured-radical De Genova "we hate America" left, and I've never heard anybody say any of these. The only person I know who's mentioned the Zionist/Right Wing conspiracy is PAT BUCHANAN, and, needless to say, he hasn't been attending our far left conspiracy meetings of late.

Kevin,
No, Pat and his *sshole buddies, Charlie Reese and Lew Rockwell, are too busy hanging out behind the barn trying to help Noam Chomksy get that Yid out of the woodpile.
No Jews for Matzoh...or something like that.

rofl
Man, you are one wickedly funny chick.

Thanks...I think.