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Baghdad Bob's life in the twilight zone

ED note: Where are all you people coming from? Just curious why this older post is getting so many hits and comments. Thanks.

bagbob.jpgJust call me Baghdad Bob. You know, the guy that is on Iraqi tv all the time claiming that all is well, all is good, go about your business.

I'm going to start living my life in the same ozone layer as him.

When the snow starts falling today and the power goes out from the weight of the ice and sleet and my car is buried under the snowdrifts of a nor'easter, I am going to make this annoucement:

"The snowstorm will not approach Long Island. It will be sunny and 85 degrees. Please proceed to the parks and beaches like you had planned. Nope, no snow here."

And when I burn dinner because I forgot to set the timer on the stove and the steak looks like my son's baseball glove and probably tastes like it, too I will say:

"Here is your beautiful dinner. Look how tender and juicy that steak is! You could cut through it like butter."

It must be nice to live in the land of make-believe. Nothing ever goes wrong there. The weather is never bad, your meals are always perfect, your team always wins and yes, you wear a size 5 all the time.

I'm thinking that Baghdad Bob would make a good comic strip character. The possibilities for laughs are endless. As bombs fall all around him and his hair is ablaze, he will still deny it down to the last moment. When his charred corpse is being carried out on a stretcher towards a Baghdad graveyard, Bob's spirit will rise out of his body and let out a haunting screech - "It's just a flesh wound!"

UPDATE: Where are all you people coming from? Who sent you here? Just curious...

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Comments

I think the guy hasn't figured out that April Fools is only for one day.

Wile E. Coyote should get the part in the movie.

Yeah, but if he came to Cincinnati the Bengals would still only be 3-13 this year. There are somethings you just can't whitewash.

Yeah, but if he came to Cincinnati the Bengals would still only be 3-13 this year. There are somethings you just can't whitewash.

Don't worry JohnO. According to Baghdad Bob, you only posted that comment once.

Black Knight: "C'mon, ya pansy! I'll bite your legs off!"

Now I'm beginning to see a whole new world courtesy o' Bagdhad Bob:

"I only posted that comment once."

"No dear, I'm certainly not drinking at the bar. I'm at home making sweet love to you at this moment and you're enjoying it."

"Passed out. NO!!! I'm hard at work."

I posted something similar on my blog (bentonfraser.blogspot.com). This guy makes Jon Lovitz' Pathological Liar character look honest.

There are no Americans in Baghdad, yah, that's the ticket.

They were all wiped out, yah, crushed in the name of Iraq.

Those loud noises and flashes of light? Err....fireworks! For our celebration party! Yah, that's the ticket!

And my wife...Morgan Fairchild!

And the Brewers are going to win the World Series!

Nevermind that they're currently at 0-6 and have become the laughingstock of the entire state of Wisconsin.

I think you meant to say:

"'Tis but a flesh wound."

I think there is something to be said for the theory that every laugh-out-loud moment of the Left or their darlings among the thugocracies of Africa and Asia can be found in the Monty Python catalogue of hilarity. Kinda like the "Six (or is it Seven) Degrees of Kevin Bacon." Just a theory.....

"I'm not dead yet!"

This comment is a worthwhile addition to this thread. It contains factual information pertaining to the thread and is in no way entirely self-referential.

This comment cntains two mistakes.

Is Baghdad Bob 100% Iraqi?

Methinks he's at least 50% FRENCH!

I'm still waiting for the question and answer period where someone raises their hand and goes,

"Excuse me, Col. Bob Hawkins 3rd Infantry - could you be more specific as to what parts of Baghdad you still control?"

I think that assclown has just surpassed Tariq Aziz on my list of people I want to watch die.

you know what would be absolutely perfect? If a reporter asked him "Is Baghdad still under Iraqi control?" and he responded "It depends on what the definition of "is" is..." That would just farkin' rule.

When the snow starts falling [up there in Yankees territory] today and the power goes out from the weight of the ice and sleet and [Michele's ] car is buried under the snowdrifts of a nor'easter, I am going to ...

...oh, maybe meander out to the pool and catch some rays. Perhaps just sit on the patio and enjoy the 80-odd degree weather we're having here in sunny South Flori-duh.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. Had to rub it in.

Michael D.
(one of 537 Floridians you can thank for not having to say, "President Gore."

Are you sure this guy isn't really auditioning for a gig with the much vaunted, eagerly awaited (but I'm not holding my breath!) Liberal Talk Show Radio Network?
But seriously now...he's perfect: totally delusional, wildly defensive, and completely hysterical.

3rd infantry: nah it'll be an Aussie SAS guy stealing his uniform whilst Ms of B....t is giving us his audience our dayly dose of humour.

fiona - Australia

I think his full name is Mohammed Joe Saeed al-Sahaf al-Isuzu.

"Ah'm gettin' better!"

[thunk]

Kansas 100 Syracuse 23

We've got 'em on the run, boys!

I expect him to say "Oh Magoo, you've done it again" at any moment.

Tariq Aziz is really Harry Carey. Prop his ass in front of a microphone at Wrigley...."it could be, it could be....yes, Sadam is gone!!!

Hey Bob. Tell us how Los Angeles' NFL team did last year

I THINK BAGHDAD BOB IS A DAD WHO PUTS HIS KIDS IN BAGS AND THROWS THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF BAGHDAD AS AMERICAN TROOP OBSTICLES.

Never heard him being called Baghdad bob before and he'd make an excellent chat show host due to his personality.

Unfortunately we might all laugh at him but im sure if he said anything else Saddam would have had him killed so you do kind of have to feel sorry for the bloke.

I've missed ole bob the last two days. He was the only funny in the war.

Bag Bob could be ride guide at Dizzney Land

BAGDAD BOB SHOULD BE THE MAN OF THE YEAR,THE GUY IS GREAT,THE GREATEST ENTERTAINER EVER,HE IS THE BEST ACTOR FOR A COMIC ROLE IN THE MOVIE CALLED IRAQI-FREEDOM.OR OIL FREEDOM.

Bahgdad Bob has just been re-incarnated into the Iraqi ambassador. "I have no realtionship to Sadaam" Watch this guy - he has potential!

I resemble that remark...

HEY! I was going to say that!

Grand Performance. This guy needs a job as a spin-meister in DC. I feel better already.

I heard that he's getting his own show on FoxNews. Or he maybe the summer replacement for Rush Limbaugh.

Baghdad Bob's former career - a defense attorney for really bad people. He was on OJ's team. Check it out.

Bob was found this morning....

http://www.northpointemedia.com/nancyandfriend.jpb

Bob was found this morning....

http://www.northpointemedia.com/nancyandfriend.jpb

Bob was found this morning.... See picture at

http://www.northpointemedia.com/nancyandfriend.jpg

I've seen this guy before! Didn't he used to be Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'em?

Even then he was a friggin' disaster!

I think Baghdad Bob has a future in standup comedy! Liberal Hollywood would welcome him with open arms!

The last thing I hear him say was......
"I'm going to Disneyland!"

I think this man should get permanent spot on Saturday Night Live!! He's at least as good as the other players!

He looks a lot like Mr. Maggoo.........
Just as funny as him too.........lol

At least minister magoo spoke straight into the mic. while he was lying, not like our leader here in Canada, the mic's have to be on he's left side.

First I'd like to thank Michael in Florida for knowing how to count. Also, I'd very much like to know what kind of drugs Baghdad Bob takes. There are times I'd like to completely escape reality, too.

How about Bob as a weatherman?

The new Ed McMahon, Johnny should look to come out of retirement.

No 7-11 job for the BIG BOBSTER, he'd make a fortune selling used cars, running an airline, or represent California in Congress on the Democratic ticket. He already had a stint under the Republican Guard banner.

It's Saturday and I'm getting really cranky missing my morning dose of the "Baghdad Bob" show. Now that Geraldo is gone, can Bob replace him? Please!!!!!

It's Saturday and I'm getting really cranky missing my morning dose of the "Baghdad Bob" show. Now that Geraldo is gone, can Bob replace him? Please!!!!!

We should name a slurpee after him...

I'm looking forward to the next Baghdad Bob report... a completely black TV screen - just his voice - reporting from a bunker under the Euphraties River.

Bob is so funny he should be on Letterman

Bob is so funny he should be on Letterman

I'm pretty certain it was Baghdad Bob I saw at a Transcendental Meditation Yogic Flying demonstration. He was their spokesman and was telling everyone that what they were seeing was a dmonstration of "flying". The perfect job for Baghdad Bob!!

Oh Baghdad Bob, where are you?

I miss Baghdad Bob, too. I'm an attorney who is used to hearing people stretch the truth, but we attorneys could not hold a candle to BB. He's a real master.

Mark

Ol' Baghdad Bob's is also known as Ala' Mah Assoff. He was found near a bunker bomb crater with his head blown off. His head held a press conference and told reporters he is not dead... he's simply trying to lose some weight...

Set him up with an espresso cart near the Ed Sullivan Theater and Baghdad Bob can replace Rupert, the Chinese deli owner, on Dave Letterman's Late Show. With the right agent, Bob's future is boundless.

I saw Bob last night at a French restaurant with "the old maid". Baghdad Bob, you're a real card!

Baghdad Bob "No, the U.S. Marines are not in Baghdad"

Marines on Cell Phone "Can you hear us now? Good."

Hello everybody!!!
For cool pictures of the minister, t-shirts, underwear, mugs etc check http://www.theiraqiinformationminister.com
It's cool site, check specially the pics in the latest news... well done guys!!!

I forgive him.If nominated for Prime Minister of Australia at next Federal election, I know he will win by a landslide

i do miss bagdad bob i think he is very funny and he can tell some great stories i hope he is still alive and he becomes and actor . this person can make millions telling fairy tales, or i stage in vegas with his show.

GERALDO KNOWS SOMETHING!!!

Two comments from Baghdad Bob

1.Reagan was a great president

2Ollie North didnt really sell us weapons during the contra affair

you know I wouldnt like

The ParodyTimes is a satirical online newspaper features news and event from a world remarkably similar to our own.
Don't miss the articles and pitures of the iraqi minister of information, George W Bush, Tony Blair etc

http://www.parodytimes.com

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