Baghdad Bob's life in the twilight zone
ED note: Where are all you people coming from? Just curious why this older post is getting so many hits and comments. Thanks.
Just call me Baghdad Bob. You know, the guy that is on Iraqi tv all the time claiming that all is well, all is good, go about your business.
I'm going to start living my life in the same ozone layer as him.
When the snow starts falling today and the power goes out from the weight of the ice and sleet and my car is buried under the snowdrifts of a nor'easter, I am going to make this annoucement:
"The snowstorm will not approach Long Island. It will be sunny and 85 degrees. Please proceed to the parks and beaches like you had planned. Nope, no snow here."
And when I burn dinner because I forgot to set the timer on the stove and the steak looks like my son's baseball glove and probably tastes like it, too I will say:
"Here is your beautiful dinner. Look how tender and juicy that steak is! You could cut through it like butter."
It must be nice to live in the land of make-believe. Nothing ever goes wrong there. The weather is never bad, your meals are always perfect, your team always wins and yes, you wear a size 5 all the time.
I'm thinking that Baghdad Bob would make a good comic strip character. The possibilities for laughs are endless. As bombs fall all around him and his hair is ablaze, he will still deny it down to the last moment. When his charred corpse is being carried out on a stretcher towards a Baghdad graveyard, Bob's spirit will rise out of his body and let out a haunting screech - "It's just a flesh wound!"
UPDATE: Where are all you people coming from? Who sent you here? Just curious...