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poetry slam

Obviously, you all have a thing for Helen Thomas.

No more entries. Voting begins now. Take a look at the Helen Thomas limericks in the post below and leave a comment as to which person you think should be the Poet Laureate of my Empire With No Name.

UPDATE:Wait! We have a late entry from Juan Gato who, if he doesn't get named Poet Laureate will probably take on the job of the Drinking Buddy.

"Which would cause the most shrinkage?"
A question posed after much drinkage
"Standing in an icy ocean
or considering the notion
Of being buried in Helen Thomas' wrinklage?"


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Can there be TWO PL's?? I vote for Dave, with Ryan as his jester sidekick. Good gawd, my sides hurt.

I vote for Dave. It's hard to work raping by llamas into a poem. He should win for that alone.

I may have to bow out of the running because I broke the rules set forth by the The Great No-Name Empire (TGNNE) by making a vagina reference alongside a Helen Thomas reference. Whoops, there I went and did it again.

I still wish to be an important person within the new great empire, even if my position is as your affectionate pool boy.

I agree that it should be Dave, a better set of limericks I've not read.

I also agree that Ryan crossed a major taste line with the whol vagina thing - I mean Ryan - we're talking Helen freakin' Thomas here?!

Dammit. I tried to think of one, but just choked.

I vote for Dave. He's nothing if not consistent.

Dave. Consistently diisgusting, and even more funny.

<Phoebe from Friends>
Okay, ewww.
</Phoebe from Friends>

DAVE far & away

the 1st one had me
then "Strohm freakin' Thurmond"
the topper "a friend of hussein's & osama's

Sorry Ryan but you screwed the pooch
with the China / vagina
It made me feel all icky

Ooo...imperial drinking buddy! I'll be real good at offering bad, drunken advice.

Ok, Juan wants the drinking buddy job, which I can't take anyway since I no longer drink.

Since he got to slip one in late, I've got one last entry for your consideration.

Helen Thomas arouses my ire,
That bloodsucking press corps vampire,
So let me be frank:
I wouldn't pee on that skank
If I walked by and saw her on fire.

Dave. Holey schamoley it's Dave.

There once was a limerist named Dave
Whose rhymes were really a rave
He popped them right out
With such a beautiful clout
That I have to admit they're my fave.

I'd just like to thank both Dave and Ryan, since after those, the Helen Thomas mambo musical doesn't seem so bad. And I thought I'd crossed a line with the Saddammettes...

I limericked with all of my skill
Clawing my way up the great limerick hill
Yet I have to admit
That Dave's really the shit
And Helen Thomas's vagina still makes me ill

Just now saw this and went all a-twitter
(There are poets here who fairly glitter).
My whole time's been to log
At Michele's CP Blog,
So now my money's on the "Bushtitter."

not to put too fine a point on it... but a limerick should - won't say must in a setting which is by definition anarchic ;-) - contain a geographic reference at the end of the first line in addition to other poetic notes suchg as the meter and rhyming sequence displayed by juan gato

There once was a writer from D.C.
Helen Thomas, with words always P.C.
She said, "Bush is the worst,
I think FDR's first"
Which tells you she's older than Kesey

Better, jack?

no i can go peacefully into that long good night.