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The joe mcnally interview

[This is the second in a series of blogger mad-lib style intervies. This means that Joe did not answer, nor did I ask him, a single question. He had no idea what was going to be the end result of my email asking him for verbs, nouns etc. I didn't even know what the subject would be ahead of time]

Today's interview is with Joe McNally. You may know him from his blog, Short Strange Trip, but Joe is going to be known for more than that soon if his plans come to fruition. Why don't I let him tell you all about it?

ME: Welcome, Joe. Thank you for joining us today.
JOE: Thank you for having me. So to speak.
ME: So, tell us about this new blog you are launching.
JOE: Well, it's called ZOTS!
ME: Zots?
JOE: No, ZOTS! You have to pronounce the word as if it were puslating!
ME: I see. ZOTS!
JOE: Yes! Better. I don't have to stomp on your face now.
ME: Hmm?
JOE: Nevermind. I may have taken too many Motrins today. Tends to make me incoherent.
ME: Are you sure you want to do this?
JOE: Yes, I must. The launch party for the blog is this weekend. I must get the word out. PageSix isn't going to cover this party if I just sit here and moan over this nasty skin eruption that's making me itch like Bill Cimino watching Martina Navratilova and Janet Reno go at it.
ME: ..........
JOE: Motrin...
ME: Right. So why would PageSix cover a blog launch party?
JOE: Because it's a gossip blog.
ME: Oh, come on! That's been done before.
JOE: Not this way. I have cunningly put together two hot topics in one.
Not just blog gossip. Not just celebrity gossip. Bloggers Caught With Celebrities gossip! Two hot, hot things brought together at last. Sort of like the Olsen twins if they were conjoined.
ME: That's the Motrin speaking, right?
JOE: No, not all. Tell me the thought of those girls joined at the hip doesn't make your loins bake like you just poured a bottle of warmed-upTough Actin' Tinactin down your pants.
Please tell me that's the motrin speaking.

ME: Anyhow, is there enough blogger-on-celebrity gossip to make this worthwhile?
JOE: If there wasn't, would I have given up my job washing cars to concentrate on this? I don't think so. In fact, there's enough of it to give me blogging fodder for at least the next seven years.
ME: Give us a little preview.
JOE: How's this for starters: Sekimori. Mickey Rourke. A plate of shrimp. A bidet. Huh?
ME: Wow, are you serious?
JOE: I never lie. Try this one on: Laurence Simon has started a death metal band with Atrios.
JOE: YES! Dogs sleeping with cats, I know. There first single will be called "Bleeding Spiral." Personally, I found the music to be a bit shaky and the lyrics quite boorish, but some people go for this kind of thing.
ME: Give us one more rumor.
JOE: RUMOR?? Did you say RUMOR?
JOE: I do not deal in rumors, my dear. Every item that will appear on
ZOTS! will be verifiably, indubitably true. And brought to you by YooHoo(tm).
ME: What, no Raging Cow?
JOE: Mooooo!
ME: Umm. Yes. So, the party...
JOE: Oh my, it is going to be GRAND!
ME: Where and when?
JOE: This Friday night at Der Wienerschnitzel on East Broadway.
ME: How about a few more tidbits from the ZOTS! file?
JOE: Ok, just a few, though. I can't give all my good stuff away. First,
there's that little matter of NC and Kevin Parrot flagellating John McCain in the men's room of the Nike factory in Panama.
ME: Oh my. Tell me more!>
JOE: All I know is that McCain was bent over the toilet bowl yelling "Call meHerb Tarlek!" He was dressed in snakeskin, ala Jim Morrison, and NC was making him eat a banana out of a styrofoam cup.
ME: Motrin?
JOE: Oh god, yes. I'm sorry. That story isn't true at all. It was really
my best friend Sean. And umm.. Susan Sarandon. With a pogo stick">pogo stick . In the billiard room.
ME: Those weren't Motrin at all Joe, were they?
JOE: No. No, they weren't. Are you still going to plug ZOTS! for me?
ME:Of course. Just leave me out of it.
(Joe passed out at this point, thus ending the interview)

Joe McNally is much taller in person than he is on his blog. He is also devastatingly handsome and wore a tophat throughout the entire interview.

Just a tophat.

The preceding was brough to you by mad-lib style interviewing. Any resemblance to the real Joe McNally is strictly coincidental, even though he did provide all the pertinent information, including answering the question "name a man you would like to shag" with the answer Janet Reno.

The next victim scheduled for some kind of interview is Dave of Acerbia. If you would like to submit to my amazing word stylage (I made that word up), just let me know. Fo Shizzle.


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He's a cretin.

No, no, no. Not Mickey Rourke...Mickey ROONEY.

McCain would have loved every minute of it.

Oh bloody hell... now I'm worried.

Who is this RAGING cow? I feel threatened...

Just had some Raging Cow tonight... Chocolate Caramel Craze, mmmmmmm!