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i can't believe i read the whole thing

Nice try, but I'm not stripping naked. And trust me, you do not want to hear me sing. Even naked.

Instead, we will play Guess the Weekly World News Item.

I happen to have a copy of Weekly World News. I have no idea how it got in my house. It just appeared here, with Saddam's face on the cover.

I'm just going to give you a few choice quotes from this week's chock-full-of-looniness issue and you have to guess what they were talking about.

"You can bet no operative is getting into his hideout without a very aggressive rectal check."

"A golden glow shines over the city of wind. The winds grow stronger, crushing gangs and felling towers."

"They can't deny the translations leaked to the press do, in fact, mention Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein - and terror king Osama bin Laden - by name."

"Leave it up to a European to think up something disgusting like that, a tradition we definitely didn't need here in the U.S. of A."

"A four letter word for female relative? That would be AUNT - not the word you're thinking of."

"The unsatisfied customer called police when her negative thoughts failed to magically disappear.."

"Don't feel compelled to imitate the look-alike red, white and blue knock-off flags used by so many other nations."

"At first, I thought it must have been some sort of mutant glow-worm!"


"Mr Hussein is a very proud man, used to wielding authority. He just wouldn't be satisfied lying about on the French Riviera, sipping wine."

Have at it. I'm going to give you some time to answer these questions before I put up Kevin's interview.


You're entertaining the illusion that people are actually gonna be paying attention to your singing voice when you're naked again, aren't ya?

Darn it, ain't you learned anything from Madonna, gal?

Well if you don't want to sing naked you could always drop by and pop my comment cherry. I just started a blog today:


I can't promise to be as prolific a blogger as you are but I'll try to update it as frequently as I can. If anyone has been asking you about how to start their own blogs I really recommend using upsaid. I tried blogspot first but got errors coming out the wazoo!


1. Dick Cheney
2. Some psycho Al Qaeda operative talking about blowing up Chicago
3. Interrogations of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
4. Being born French
5. Excerpts from the first episode of The Family
6. Some woman who went to a psychic, was disappointed, and thought the cops wouldn't laugh in her face
7. Helpful hints on how would-be terrorists can blend in
8. Bat boy
9. Somebody informing Jacques Chirac that Saddam doesn't want to be an honored guest in his country.

1. Ron Jeremy
2. American Idol
3. Penthouse Letters mailed from Iraq
4. dunking french fries in mayonaisse
5. Madonna
6. Ms. Cleo
7. Cher
8. Ron Jeremy
9. Quote from Chrissie Hynde

Pardon me Kevin, but I'm as American as as Taco Bell and I love dunking my fried potatoes of unnamed nationality in mayo! I got the habit from my mother, who is Dutch, but is finally trying to get naturalized after living in the US of A for 43 years.

Mayo for America!