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shock me amadeus!

Michelle Shocked:

We're going to set off an estrogen bomb for peace," the 40-year-old Shocked told us yesterday as she got ready for tonight's Lisner Auditorium concert-rally featuring novelist Alice Walker and comedian Elayne Boosler among other cause celebs. "You know what happens when the estrogen bomb falls? It's 'Oh I'm so sorry, it's all my fault.' 'No, I'm sorry, it's my fault.' Because the women just get together and clean these things up. We don't want to negotiate from strength. We have to negotiate from a sense of mediation."

"This about pink power," Shocked went on. "It could be argued that we are stereotyping women. But women are estrogen carriers, and they are the peacemakers in this world."

As a woman, I would just like to say - Michelle, think you are completely wrong and perhpas we could get together at a lovely restuarant over a cup of tea and chat about it.

And then I would take a fork and and poke out your eyes and feed them to you in soup. After that I'd slice your head off with a dull steak knife and vomit into your neck. I'd leave your bloody, messy corpse there for the waitstaff to clean up, but not before I ripped your tongue from your mouth and waved it over my head like a fleshy lasso.

Oops, there go those hormones again.

My fault.

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Comments

I love you - You're my hero.

My Mom always said she never understood what people were talking about when they made statements that women were so peace loving. She would tell me that there is perhaps no more visious animal on the face of the earth then the human female for good or bad. Then she would quote " The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world", I have no idea were this comes from but it always made sense to me.

Man, I'd hate to be a janitor at the Lisner after that! Yuck!

Wow the thought of that scene kinda turned me on! Where does that place me on the map of deviant sexual behavior? LOL

I had to read what Michelle (the Shocked one) wrote at least three times before I came close to understanding what she said. My pulse wouldn't even rise after meeting her in a dark alley.

Now Michelle (our favorite one), on the other hand, came across loud and clear. I'd worry about crossing that one in broad daylight. With winesses. And a handgun. A big one even.

a) Men carry estrogen, too (and women, testosterone).

b) Peace-loving hormones? I know when to buy chocolate, throw it in one direction and run like heck in the other.

c) The Bible refers to the fury of the "she-bear bereft of her cubs." It says nothing that I can find about the he-bear caring much about being bereft of anything. I even tried a full text search for "TV remote control."

That reminds me of the Moe Syzlak threat:

"I'm going to rip out your eyeballs and shove 'em down your pants so you can see me kick the crap out of you."

how about "I'm going to use your skull for a bucket and paint my house with your brains"

I would be outraged, but I accidently conjured the name "Shocked Boosler" and I can't stop giggling. What a great name for a pornstar.

Michele: You are the reason women should not be in the military--There wouldn't be anybody left on the opposing side.

Michele: You are the reason women SHOULD be in the military--there wouldn't be anybody left on the opposing side.

Hmmmm, 52 Battallions composed entirely of women, arranged in such a way that we have a battallion of women with PMS ready to Fuck You Up anywhere in the world. People of the world would be Extremely peaceful to us!!!

When was the last time you heard anyone talking about Michelle Shocked or Elayne Boosler?

I don't think most folks could pick either of them out of a line up.

(Well, Boosler maybe, but it would probably be one of those "hey, weren't you on Night Court?" type things.)

Wasn't Boosler the one who said something like "Women can be killers, too. Just put them in the trenches and say 'Those guys over there just said you look fat in that uniform.'"?

Anyone who ever worked with women knows how to think about the myth of the peace-loving woman. I could imagine woman having some kind of higher tolerance before they start, that might have to do with hormones (okay - I'm talking about non-pms-ing women) or with whatever, but if a woman is on her way, I'd not bet on a random man. Here it's quite new to have women in arms, isn't it so that women ask more often "why" before they follow? The women I know, do so. Either at work or in private.

Michelle Shocked has obviously not been watching this season of Survivor or last. Because you just know that JoAnna would shut ol' Michelle down with her hand, holding her off long enough for Ghandia to punch her ass in the eye.

Beyond all the PMS jokes and the mama and her baby points, it just pisses me off that these women imply that women as a group wouldn't fight to the bloody death to protect not only themselves and their families, but to protect their country and their freedom. We're more than pissed off moms. We can also be patriots.

Best Moe line:

"You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"

and

"Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat."

"When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains
And the women come out to cut up what remains
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier."
--Rudyard Kipling

'Nuff said.

At least she had enough of a sense of humor to use the term "Estrogen Bomb".

I like Michelle Shocked. A lot. I think she's dead wrong on this issue, but I can at least enjoy her music. Not like that Hynde skag. There's your Estrogen bomb for you.

Michelle, you rule. Thanks for the riveting mental image. Fight the good fight!

This has been a sorry season - first Sheryl Crow, now Michelle Shocked. Next thing, Liz Phair is going to say something really idiotic . Why can't the chick singers I love just sing and keep their braindead politics to themselves?

Because, Doug, then you get second-rate singers writing books of bad poetry instead (see Jewel). And try as I might, I can't imagine Michele writing good rants about Jewel's stinking shitpile of poetry.

I'd love to be proven wrong, however.

Michelle Shocked came to my office and performed for us. She was really hippie-esque and peace and love and rambled along talking about nothing, it was like an exercise in free association speaking as set to guitar strumming. I honestly thought I'd have more fun watching geckos fuck than listening to her.