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i have a lot of class. it's all low.

Dave Barry sings:

Nothin' could be finer
Than to be in her vagina
In the moooooooooor-ning...

And then later, he says:

Nothin' could be sweeter
Than to have her etc.

If you don't know what the "etc.," is, you will have to ask a guy, because this blog is too classy for that kind of smut.

Well this blog is the opposite of classy, Dave. So I won't hesitate to say that around these parts, it was sung as:

Nothin' could be sweeter
Than to spread her legs and eat her
In the moooooooooor-ning

Now, don't forget to leave your panties for the cunnilungus fairy tonight, ladies.


Yeah, great. I leave out a plate of cookies and a Fosters Oilcan for Jolly Ol Saint Lickanuts and it doesn't work for me.

You girls get all the lick....I mean luck.

The way I heard that was:

Nothing could be sweeter
Than her sucking on my peter
In the mooooorning...

What is cunnilungus, anyway?

Yeah Mike, that's the way I always heard it too.

Margaritas and conversation about possibilities leads to a VERY exciting afternoon but a very boring night if others don't want to play......

Ever since I first heard that version of the song, those words are what I hear when I hear the song. Even in cartoons!

Isn't "cunnilingus fairy" an oxymoron?


And here I thought I was incredibly original for coming up with smutty alternate lyrics for "Carolina in the Morning."

"What's an inventor to do when everything has already been invented? That's the kind of thing God does to clever people."

- Voodoo Ben Franklin "Scud, the Disposable Assassin"

Now that's the kind of morning breath you can take to work!

So how was it?