« why am i torturing myself like this? | Main | your silence speaks volumes »

duck and cover!

Times sure have changed.

Today, we get a spiffy - if not intentionally humurous - website explaining how to stay safe, or at least not become the undead, in the event of any kind of attack.

19069.gifBack during the days of the cold war, the government resorted to grainy, propaganda filled films, shown in movie theaters and classrooms. These films were often filled with horrifying imagery, hyperbole and safety information that played out like commercials.

Bert the Turtle was the spokes-animal for some of these films. Bert a was pretty appropriate figure to represent the duck-and-cover method of protecting yourself from an air raid, considering the only thing sticking your head between your legs accomplished was the equivilant of a turtle going into its shell. You're still going to die. At least you would be able to kiss your own ass goodbye.

Archive.org has acquired a plethora of these safety films from the cold war era. You can see the whole Bert the Turtle film here. After watching it, one might wonder, hmmm...not much difference now that you think about it. Duct tape is probably just as effective as cowering like a turtle.

dummy.jpgThere are films about biological warfare (ladies, keep your house clean!); demonstrations showing the effects of nuclear fallout, complete with surreal looking dummy. Does she look worried? Sick? Or just resigned to her imminent death? Perhaps she is just contemplating how the commies are going to take over her town and she didn't have time to mop the floor first.

While today's warnings are designed to alleviate panic (stay calm! go about our business!), yesterday's warnings seemed fit to only cause panic. The scenarios often painted in these short films seem more like preparation for an alien invasion than tales of wartime caution.

And if you didn't think duct tape and plastic sheeting were silly enough, then view this 1943 film brought to you by the makers of Clorox bleach. Hey, do you know what can keep you from dying in a gas attack? That's right, Clorox Bleach! Even a hot shower, some baking soda and water can make you clean and safe in just minutes. I'm gonna wash that gas right outta my hair!

You want dissent and protesters? Imagine these films coming out today: Brink of Disaster, Part I and Part II: How 1960s activism "threatens" American moral, religious and ethical principles.

Times sure have changed. Or have they? When you think about it, there's not much difference between Bert the Turtle and this. Or the propaganda films telling you to be on the lookout for enemies and this. It's just more colorful now and easier to make fun of.

I think they should start making these films again. I'm thinking "What To Do When You Spot A Celebrity with a No War Shirt," or "Human Shields: War Criminals or Just Idiots?"

Stay tuned for the next installment of The Weird World of Yesterday, when I take on the driver's ed scare films of the past.

Comments

Boy, did that bring back memories.

I remember the earthquake drill movies too. Mostly because if we behaved, the teacher would usually run the film backwards which was the big thrill of the school day! Loved watching thsoe buildings falling up.

my ideas for tee shirts:
1. (idea stolen from I don't remember where)
"I'll do anything for a cause except understand it."

2. [peace symbol] "I'm for any cause cool enough to get me laid!"

Hmm, I think for government-funded panic movies, Reefer Madness wins my vote. I couldn't seem to find it, though.

I'd like to suggest for future films we should have "Shutting Off Celebrity Spew - Yet Another Use For Duct Tape," or "Put Up Or Shut Up - The Deportation of Alec Baldwin."

Regards,
Tony

In defense of "Duck and Cover" (I know I read one lately, but I can't recall where), for people out of the vaporisation zone, but close enough to worry about blast and the rest, "duck and cover" really probably would help chances of survival quite a bit.

Protecting the head and getting under cover, after all, really help your chances against falling ceiling tiles, broken glass, and various debris.

People close to the center of the blast, of course, will simply die. But seeking cover and staying down would help a goodly number of people further from the blast.

Remember also that this was the 50s, when the bombs used would have been bomber-dropped, smaller, and fewer than the nuclear scenarios of the late 70s and early 80s.

I remember watching that duck-and-cover film (converted to video of course) in a high school poli-sci class. We all laughed through the whole thing. Very good comic relief.

Ugh, not the driver's ed films. I couldn't eat for the rest of the day after one of those. Not red meat, anyway.

Minor point-oids:

1) "Duck and cover" was more sensible than people realize. First, it was primarily to keep your skull from getting crushed by rubble... which was, after all, a primary danger in the aftermath of a huge-ass explosion. Also, thanks to bad data obtained from propaganda, mass entertainment, and at least one case of deliberate obfuscation by the US government , people are still badly misinformed about how dangerous atomic bombs are and how dangerous radiation is.... thinking it to be on average ten times more deadly than it is in actuality.
Duck and cover WOULD have protected quite a few people, simply by protecting them from flying rubble and by lowering their profile for exposure to radiation.

Would it save you from a Ground Zero blast? No. But neither would hiding in the basement have saved you during the blitz if a blockbuster bomb had landed on your house. The point was that it would have given lots of people even just a mile or three down the road a hairsbreath more of a chance for survival... a good bit more than standing there like a doof and taking the blast wave flat in the face.

2)Considering the results, maybe those people who claimed that the 60's radicals were rotting the foundations of civilization had a point? Take note that the hippies, socialists and other marching idiots of the 60's grew up and became the teachers, professors, entertainers and politicians (hey there, BJ Clinton !) of the turn of the century.... take a note of the American drug culture, the booming rate of unwed/teen motherhood, the ever-bloating welfare state.... and take a look at the "peace protestors" marching out there today. Hippie leftovers and hippie wannabees, the lot of them.

Minor point-oids:

1) "Duck and cover" was more sensible than people realize. First, it was primarily to keep your skull from getting crushed by rubble... which was, after all, a primary danger in the aftermath of a huge-ass explosion. Also, thanks to bad data obtained from propaganda, mass entertainment, and at least one case of deliberate obfuscation by the US government , people are still badly misinformed about how dangerous atomic bombs are and how dangerous radiation is.... thinking it to be on average ten times more deadly than it is in actuality.
Duck and cover WOULD have protected quite a few people, simply by protecting them from flying rubble and by lowering their profile for exposure to radiation.

Would it save you from a Ground Zero blast? No. But neither would hiding in the basement have saved you during the blitz if a blockbuster bomb had landed on your house. The point was that it would have given lots of people even just a mile or three down the road a hairsbreath more of a chance for survival... a good bit more than standing there like a doof and taking the blast wave flat in the face.

2)Considering the results, maybe those people who claimed that the 60's radicals were rotting the foundations of civilization had a point? Take note that the hippies, socialists and other marching idiots of the 60's grew up and became the teachers, professors, entertainers and politicians (hey there, BJ Clinton !) of the turn of the century.... take a note of the American drug culture, the booming rate of unwed/teen motherhood, the ever-bloating welfare state.... and take a look at the "peace protestors" marching out there today. Hippie leftovers and hippie wannabees, the lot of them.

"In defense of "Duck and Cover" (I know I read one lately, but I can't recall where),"

Probably the Volokhs' blog.