« friday night music | Main | even better than the real thing »

i predict*

I see that March 5 is Do Nothing to Stop the War Day.

The Not in Our Name folks are encouraging kids to cut school, businesses to close down and workers to call in sick.

Unfortunately - if my divination skills are worth anything - March 5 will be two days too late.

Welcome to Conspiracy Headquarters where today is brought to you by the Number 3.

This particular conspiracy calls for the war on Iraq to start on March 3, 2003.

Yes, 03/03/03.

333.gifEveryone knows that 666 is the number of the beast. Well, 333 is the number of the beast’s son. Gulf War I - George Bush, Sr.
Gulf War II - George Bush the son. See how this works?

Should everyone and their brother become involved in this war, it will be World War III. 3. Get it?

The Axis of Evil has 3 countries.

In numerology, the number 3 represents intelligence (CIA?) and assimilation of information (weapons inspectors?). 3 is represented by the colors ruby and blood red.

Three is the magic number.

Alexander Graham Bell's birthdate is March 3. Everyone knows that Bell would have been pro-war. Had he lived to this decrepit old age, he would have been 156. Let's do some numerology. 1+5+6=12. 1+2=3. See, there's that 3 again. Told you!

Sure, I'm reaching a bit here. But when I stopped at the store on the way home from work last night, the total of my purchase came out to $33.33.

Just to double check my interpretation of these numbers, I looked up Saddam's horoscope for March:

Mars, as it draws nearer to the earth than ever before in history, is due to be passing right through the part of your chart that governs 'alliance and allegiance'. The first rule of every successful friendship 'be non-judgemental.' Remember this – and then set out to make friends with every part of your life that currently seems to be your enemy.

Perhaps Sheryl Crow was on to something. Sadly, it will be a bit of too little, too late, as the date of 3/3/3 comes up as loser, loser, loser on the slot machine of life.

Of course, I could be wrong. My psychic skills have been misguided before, as when I predicted that Ted Rall would eventually get his head out of his ass.

(Stay tuned for another edition of Bitchslap Ted Rall day. I have something up my sleeve)

*

Comments

I'll be sure to go to work, be a productive member of Society, and support capitalism on that day!

I just happened to stumble across these protest ideas that (thankfully) were rejected:

Circle Jerk to Stop the War Day
Ritual Suicide to Stop the War Day
Grow a Mullet to Stop the War Day
Film Rob Lowe in a Threesome to Stop the War Day
Download "Vintage" Kiddie Porn to Stop the War Day
Flash Sheryl Crow to Stop the War Day
Sacrifice a Virgin to Stop the War Day
Sacrifice Dan Rather to Stop the War Day

It's not easy being a Liberal these days, kids....

"In numerology, the number 3 represents intelligence (CIA?)"

Of course. How do you think the CIA chose its name?

"C" is the third letter of the alphabet.

"I" is the ninth letter; i.e., 9 = 3 × 3.

"A" is the first letter; 1 = 3 / 3.

As always, michele, you're absolutely right.

This post was like listening to Art Bell, only way more entertaining. And I didn't feel like a great big goofy nerd afterwards.

There is a new moon on March 3, which means that if we strike on that date we will be able to see fine using our night vision technology and the Iraqis will never see us coming.

Michele, there are many intricacies of the English language. It's one of the reasons people find English to be one of the hardest languages to learn.

"Do nothing to stop the war."

"Okay. I won't do anything to stop the war. You got it."

I say we support it. Let's spread the meme that it's "Do nothing to stop the war" day!

That what I thought it meant too.
DO NOTHING to stop the war.
And that's exactly what I'll do.

Hey, I'm doing nothing to stop the war right now!

And with no pants on!

They do not wants ta just be heard an' tell peeps about da opinions dey have; dey wants ta divide peeps. Look at da protests; dey wuz burning da flag an' busting up windows. I be starting ta wonder about da intentions. They wants ta be heard at any cost. I hope dey git fired when dey don' jet ta werk, yo. and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah.

Hey, everybody, a round of applause for Jar Jar Binks for sharing his thoughts with us in the previous comment.

I tried running that post through Babelfish, but I couldn't get anything legible back.

Depends how you define "start of war", doesn't it? Arguably it's already underway, with Special Forces in and out and bombings of Iraqi defense systems.

well, march 3rd has come and gone, and there is no war...although, there is much talk of war. and much speculation about war happening sometime in the next couple weeks. so...maybe your psychic friend is right? hmm...i think if we can stretch alexander graham bell to fit the bill, we can stretch this. =)