I see that March 5 is Do Nothing to Stop the War Day.
The Not in Our Name folks are encouraging kids to cut school, businesses to close down and workers to call in sick.
Unfortunately - if my divination skills are worth anything - March 5 will be two days too late.
Welcome to Conspiracy Headquarters where today is brought to you by the Number 3.
This particular conspiracy calls for the war on Iraq to start on March 3, 2003.
Everyone knows that 666 is the number of the beast. Well, 333 is the number of the beast’s son. Gulf War I - George Bush, Sr.
Gulf War II - George Bush the son. See how this works?
Should everyone and their brother become involved in this war, it will be World War III. 3. Get it?
The Axis of Evil has 3 countries.
In numerology, the number 3 represents intelligence (CIA?) and assimilation of information (weapons inspectors?). 3 is represented by the colors ruby and blood red.
Alexander Graham Bell's birthdate is March 3. Everyone knows that Bell would have been pro-war. Had he lived to this decrepit old age, he would have been 156. Let's do some numerology. 1+5+6=12. 1+2=3. See, there's that 3 again. Told you!
Sure, I'm reaching a bit here. But when I stopped at the store on the way home from work last night, the total of my purchase came out to $33.33.
Just to double check my interpretation of these numbers, I looked up Saddam's horoscope for March:
Mars, as it draws nearer to the earth than ever before in history, is due to be passing right through the part of your chart that governs 'alliance and allegiance'. The first rule of every successful friendship 'be non-judgemental.' Remember this – and then set out to make friends with every part of your life that currently seems to be your enemy.
Perhaps Sheryl Crow was on to something. Sadly, it will be a bit of too little, too late, as the date of 3/3/3 comes up as loser, loser, loser on the slot machine of life.
Of course, I could be wrong. My psychic skills have been misguided before, as when I predicted that Ted Rall would eventually get his head out of his ass.
(Stay tuned for another edition of Bitchslap Ted Rall day. I have something up my sleeve)