This gets better by the day
The Democratic candidates for the presidency keep filing in. If you gathered them all in one room it would resemble American Idol, with contestants vying for a spot on next year's ballot.
As with American Idol, there would be some real head shaking moments should the candidates reveal their platforms to a few impartial judges.
The latest contestant is Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio.
In his bid to win American Idol: White House or Bust, Kucinich's summed up his campaign thusly:
He clearly succeeded in reaching the fringes of liberalism. Shouts of joy could be heard from communes nationwide.
However, he let slip his real agenda, which is apparently taking over for the devil himself as ruler of hell:
Asked about his recent comment to an Akron newspaper that it would be "a cold day and possibly a snowy day in hell before a liberal would get back into the White House," he responded, "Have you been checking the stories on CNN today? All over America, it's cold and snowy. I'm ready to run for president."
Yes, he just implied that America is Hell.
Rep. Kucinich has other wild and crazy ideas up his sleeve. For instance, he introduced legislation to establish a Department of Peace, a branch of which would be responsible for spotting human rights violations around the globe.
Oh, good! That means he thinks Saddam Hussein should be stopped, right?
Rumors that Kucinich was seen walking around San Francisco this past weekend with a sign that depicted Bush as Hitler are unfounded.
Kucinich will sum up his platform for the judges with this final pronouncement:
Peace and flowers for everyone! If we just close our eyes and tap our heels together three times, we could make rainbows suddenly appear in our eyes!