This gets better by the day
The Democratic candidates for the presidency keep filing in. If you gathered them all in one room it would resemble American Idol, with contestants vying for a spot on next year's ballot.
As with American Idol, there would be some real head shaking moments should the candidates reveal their platforms to a few impartial judges.
The latest contestant is Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio.
In his bid to win American Idol: White House or Bust, Kucinich's summed up his campaign thusly:
"We need a holistic worldview that views the world as interdependent and interconnected."
He clearly succeeded in reaching the fringes of liberalism. Shouts of joy could be heard from communes nationwide.
However, he let slip his real agenda, which is apparently taking over for the devil himself as ruler of hell:
Asked about his recent comment to an Akron newspaper that it would be "a cold day and possibly a snowy day in hell before a liberal would get back into the White House," he responded, "Have you been checking the stories on CNN today? All over America, it's cold and snowy. I'm ready to run for president."
Yes, he just implied that America is Hell.
Rep. Kucinich has other wild and crazy ideas up his sleeve. For instance, he introduced legislation to establish a Department of Peace, a branch of which would be responsible for spotting human rights violations around the globe.
Oh, good! That means he thinks Saddam Hussein should be stopped, right?
Well, no.
Rumors that Kucinich was seen walking around San Francisco this past weekend with a sign that depicted Bush as Hitler are unfounded.
Kucinich will sum up his platform for the judges with this final pronouncement:
Peace and flowers for everyone! If we just close our eyes and tap our heels together three times, we could make rainbows suddenly appear in our eyes!
Comments
"We need a holistic worldview that views the world as interdependent and interconnected."
Isn't that what the whole globalist/capitalist/WTO thing is about?
Heh
Posted by: Ken Summers | February 18, 2003 08:50 AM
This man makes me almost ashamed to be from Cleveland.
Posted by: Jilly | February 18, 2003 09:56 AM
Thats almost as good as Carol Mosely-Braun campaigning in Iowa and having 1 (one) person come out to hear her.
Where do they find these people? It's like the Democratic party isn't even trying anymore.
Posted by: Jay | February 18, 2003 10:14 AM
Yes, my party is in a state of complete, utter, and total disarray. Dennis Kucinich? Carol Moseley-Braun? PLEASE.... Why not PeeWee Herman or SpongeBob Squarepants??
Posted by: Jack Cluth | February 18, 2003 10:28 AM
I dunno about tapping your heels, but I close my eyes and rub my knuckles into my eyelids vigorously for a few seconds and I get most all of the colors of the rainbow meself (apropos of nothing, which is par for my course...)
Posted by: Ferro Lad | February 18, 2003 10:43 AM
What would be so wrong with Spongebob? Do you have something wrong with People of Absorbancy?
Posted by: Robb | February 18, 2003 10:44 AM
"This man makes me almost ashamed to be from Cleveland."
** poster is a Pittsburgher....hehe
Posted by: btezra | February 18, 2003 10:55 AM
All I get when I tap my heels together is accusations of being a Nazi.
Posted by: D | February 18, 2003 11:25 AM
I lived in Dennis Kucinich's district for many years, and I will say this about him: He does have a lot of loony left ideas, but he also has something that most politicians do not -- honesty and integrity. He never glad-hands his constituents, and he really does want what is best for them, even if what he sometimes thinks is "best" is out of deep left field. At least that was always my impression of him, both from following his votes and from corresponding with his office.
In a race between, say, Kucinich and John "Vietnam, goddamit! I was there!" Kerry, I'd vote for Kucinich every time.
Posted by: Phil | February 18, 2003 12:59 PM
Funny you mention American Idol. Fox has plans to produce an American Idol show that will allow "candidates" to compete in arace to see who should run for president. The winner doesn't HAVE to run, but would certainly be as well known as a real nomoinee by the end.
Posted by: Sean Kirby | February 18, 2003 01:02 PM
Hey! Maybe it could be judged by Danny Glover, Susan Sarandon, and Alex Baldwin!
Posted by: Robb | February 18, 2003 01:23 PM
Some of us have no interest in watching television trying to spawn musical talent, much less someone hoping to run the country. Of course, they couldn't do much worse than the Democrats are right now, eh?
Posted by: John | February 18, 2003 01:41 PM
As we used to say when I lived in Ohio: "Dennis the Menace Strikes Again!!"
Posted by: Vickie | February 18, 2003 03:51 PM
Kucinich is currently listed as a 500-to-1 shot in The Latest Line for the Dem. nomination ... given what you've got here, I may need to increase the spread.
Posted by: Alan | February 18, 2003 05:24 PM
American Candidate. FX, not FOX, unfortunately.
Alas, finally, the place for the Anti-Idiotarian Party to gain a foothold!
Posted by: Josh Heit | February 18, 2003 09:38 PM
The Worst Mayors (1820-1993)
Next, and seventh, is Cleveland's Dennis Kucinich (1977-79). Only thirty-one years old when elected, Cleveland's "boy" mayor had failings that were not the sins of venality or graft for personal gain, but rather matters of style, temperament, and bad judgment in office. Kucinich earned seventh place the hard way: by his abrasive, intemperate, and confrontational populist political style, which led to a disorderly and chaotic administration. He barely survived a recall vote just ten months into office, then disappeared for five weeks, reportedly recuperating from an ulcer. When he got back into the political fray, his demagogic rhetoric and slash-and-burn political style got him into serious trouble when he stubbornly refused to compromise and led Cleveland into financial default in late 1978—the first major city to default since the Great Depression. That led also to Kucinich's defeat and exit from executive office. Out of office, he dabbled in a Hollywoodesque spirit world and once believed he had met actress Shirley MacLaine in a previous life, seemingly confirming his critics' charges that he was a "nut-cake." After that, he experienced downward mobility, losing races for several other offices and finally ending up with a council seat; but more recently, he climbed back up to a seat in Congress. Bad judgment, demagoguery, and default also spelled political failure in the eyes of twenty-five of our experts, who ranked Dennis, whom the press called "the Menace," as seventh-worst.
The American Mayor
The Best & The Worst Big-City Leaders
By Melvin G. Holli
The Pennsylvania State University Press
Posted by: CLEVELAND (OHIO) | March 2, 2003 02:44 PM
GO TO WEBSITE: www.kucinich.com
Posted by: CLEVELAND (OHIO) | March 2, 2003 02:46 PM