all weather, all the time
To those in the northeastern U.S., I will save you the trouble of having to turn on your television. Here is what your local stations will look like for the next 24 hours.
Major Topics:
It's snowing.
It's cold.
It's very windy.
The roads are bad.
Visibility is bad.
Everything is closed. Go back to bed.
Interviews
Manager of Home Depot saying they are out of shovels.
Man at local hardware store trying to buy salt.
Woman at grocery store complaining that the store is out of milk.
Brave postal worker delivering the mail, through snow, sleet, etc.
Requisite camera shots:
Empty lanes on the Long Island Expressway
Crazy person wearing snowshoes on Fifth Avenue
Local residents on skis trying to get to the store
At least one shot of a sign at Kennedy Airport saying flights are cancelled.
Here's what you can do if you happen to venture outside and get caught by a tv station desperate for someone to interview:
Feign shock that it is snowing in February.
Ask if the code orange has changed to code white.
Tell the interviewer that your white toy poodle is lost in that huge snowbank and you need help.
"Snow? I thought this was nuclear fallout!"
Comments
And don't forget, there's always one dumbass that has a snowmobile. He is the hero that can get anywhere. Need milk? He'll get it. Oh wait, nevermind, nothing is open and the stores are wiped clean.
Posted by: statia | February 17, 2003 09:48 AM
My favorite "on-the-spot" interview exchange so far:
Dim Second-Rate Local Reporter (to man in truck with plow): "You're on the road ... where are you going?"
Man With Plow: "The bank."
Of course.
Posted by: Alan | February 17, 2003 09:55 AM
I've been snowed in for three days (and it looks like it could go to four) with 3 cats, 3 dogs, and a husband who's had FoxNews and/or the Weather channel on 24/7. I may at this point go completely insane.
Posted by: joy | February 17, 2003 10:01 AM
At the risk of being accused of shameless self-promotion (who, me?), you could also go HERE and watch my picnic table disappear.
Posted by: Wayne Lutz | February 17, 2003 10:01 AM
Joy, you have grounds for justifiable homicide!
Gotta laugh though because 2-3 feet is hardly even grounds for closing school here, let alone declaring a state of emergency (all right, I'm exagerating a bit about the school thing).
Posted by: bogie | February 17, 2003 10:08 AM
You think you guys have it bad? It's RAINING in Wilmington, NC! Everything is wet and icky! There aren't any dry spots anywhere! It's as if some mysterious otherworldly force dropped water all over everything!
Seriously, stay warm and safe. Good post - millions of dollars in equipment, and all these meteorologists just end up stating the obvious repeatedly, as if you couldn't look out your window and see it for yourself.
Posted by: Kevin Parrott | February 17, 2003 10:25 AM
It could be worse.
There was a whole three inches of snow in the UK about three weeks ago and that brought half the country to a complete standstill.
Posted by: Gareth | February 17, 2003 10:29 AM
Yeah yeah .. 24 inches of the awful white stuff, it's still coming down - but who's counting? "state of emergency in MD" yada yada. This wouldn't even warrant a day off school in my hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba. The stores would be open and my boss wouldn't be panicking and we'd be expected to come in to work. I wouldn't be getting woken at 9 am (so sue me for sleeping in)by some adrenalin-pumped hospital gopher, coming to pick me up for my night shift in 5 minutes. My night shift.
Right. Needless to say, I'm still home :) Feh. Maryland. Snow. Yuck.
Posted by: Kinneret | February 17, 2003 11:15 AM
don't forget the rookie weatherperson that they send out in the blizzard to stand near the barrier wall in Sea Bright NJ in hopes that a giant wave will crash over and show how the tides have become insane in this nor'easter... (also can see this shot in Hurricane tracking stories)
Posted by: erin | February 17, 2003 11:41 AM
This post is such a perfect example of why I love coming here.
Posted by: Faith | February 17, 2003 11:49 AM
The brave mailman is sitting at home shoveling out. Mail isn't delivered on President's Day.
Posted by: Vickie | February 17, 2003 12:42 PM
I loved Kinneret's post about Maryland. Here in Northern Va., schools get canceled when there's a frost -- 15 inches of snow probably sent the superintendents into cardiac arrest! I'm originally from Pennsylvania, where a foot or two of snow usually means a one-hour delay for schools, at best. :)
Stay warm, friends!
Posted by: dawn | February 17, 2003 03:24 PM
Remember, it can always get worse.
You could be French.
Posted by: Justin DuCote` | February 17, 2003 03:44 PM
A respite for all our friends in the Northeast:
www.bonairewebcams.com/TheWorks.php
Posted by: Alan | February 17, 2003 03:49 PM
yes, snow does seem to be a major 'news event' anymore, doesn't it? Here in the Philly suburbs, they've pre-empted regular programming on all major stations to bring constant (read boring, repetitive, etc.) coverage of the falling snow. snow!
sheesh.
Wish they'd just let us all ENJOY this.
Posted by: Suze | February 17, 2003 04:33 PM
Ya know, I'm not sure... :: peering out the window :: ...but here in Suffolk County, Long Island, I think it might be snowing.
:: ducks the amazing snowball hurling across Nassau County toward my house from Michele ::
Posted by: roe | February 17, 2003 04:47 PM
Ahh...the weather. I'm always amused at the stories the TV stations do - like it never snows in the winter.......
But here in Chicago, we were warned of a snow, but it never came. So instead we were treated to shots of salt trucks idling, waiting, spending my hard-earned tax $, and pithy weatherpeople telling us we 'dodged another bullet'. Bunk. We still got the friggin' cold!!!!
Snowily yours.....
great site, btw...
Posted by: greg | February 17, 2003 05:07 PM
And to think that i was out in this damn weather on valentines day, trying to stop people in the city centre and ask them questions about the high divorce rate (2nd nationwide. yay us) for the local paper.
I didn't get paid neither, confound it...
Posted by: Crimson Cow | February 17, 2003 05:32 PM
The worst thing is no pizza delivery!
Posted by: Odie | February 17, 2003 06:01 PM
If I can add the token interview that stood out among the 24-hour coverage of the blizzard from hell ('cmon, we had the day off, and we couldn't see daytime trash TV? Sheesh!) -- our stations interviewed some idiot in shorts plowing snow at Dulles Airport (in Virginia). And they re-ran the clip like a thousand times. Shorts. snerk Yeah, that's news.
Some days, I am ashamed to be a reporter myself.
Posted by: dawn | February 17, 2003 10:26 PM
Hmmm....
Let's see....
The surfer dude on TV12 says it won't get out of the 60s tomorrow. Damn!
Sorry, Chele... I grew up in NY and I couldn't help myself!
Posted by: don in jax | February 17, 2003 11:00 PM
Here in Cincinnati, we only have about 6 inches of snow and some icy roads, but the media has gone mad. The best part of our news coverage tonight:
Reporter standing live in front of sledding kids: "A safety reminder for parents tonight. Apparently a young boy was sledding in this subdivision today and hit a mailbox, resulting in a fractured ankle and a broken wrist. So be careful out there kids!"
News anchor at desk: "Ouch. Yeah, gotta watch out. Lots of trees out there."
I am still laughing my ass off...
Posted by: annastazia | February 18, 2003 01:48 AM