« i can't believe i watched the whole thing | Main | protest this »

i demand you say things you don't believe in!

Saturday is going to be an interesting day in New York City. I have the desire to go in there and join the protesters, to infiltrate their ranks and try to talk some sense into them.

Of course, they wouldn't listen. They wouldn't even hear. And I am almost at the point where I have given up trying to figure these people out.

Yesterday, the great thinkers of the movement took over the office of the President of Hunter College.

They have a list of demands. One of them is that the college president herself publicly denounce the war on Iraq.

Is it just me or does everyone else see the folly behind this? Forcing someone to make a statement does not force them to believe that statement.

My secret moles have come through for me yet again and I have a tape recording of what took place after the students took over the college president's office.

Student 1: Raise the flag! We have occupied this territory!
Student 2: What flag? We don't have a flag.
Student 1: Well, just wave your shirt around.
Student 3: Ok, now we have to write a list of our demands.
Student 2: I'll write it. Here's an old brown paper bag we can write on.
All: Reduce! Resuse! Recycle!

They all sit on the floor as Student 2 writes down their demands.

Student 4: Make her denounce the war. And she has to say it like she really means it.
Student 2: How do you spell denounce?
Student 1: D-E-N ummm...
Student 5: How about "say no to the war?"
Student 2: That's better. Let's stick to small words. I haven't really been to a class in years. My spelling is rusty.
Student 4: Ok, next demand.
Student 3: Lower tuition.
Student 5: Free tuition!
Student 2: Free lunches!
Studnet 3: Fee Mumia!

They stop for a round of high-fives.

Student 1: Should we write a statement for her against the war?
Student 2: You know, we could make her say anything we want if she wants to get us out of her office.
Student 3: Heh, I didn't use deodorant today. Her office is gonna smell really bad if she doesn't meet our demands right away.
Student 5: Ok, so first demand is make her say "no war."
Student 3: Umm..make her say that she thinks I'm cute.
Student 1: Stop being such an idiot. This is serious. This is about war and resistence. We must conquer the minds of capitalist pigs and arrogant Americans who do nothing but spend money foolishly and take over countries for oil! We will occupy this office for as long as necessary!
Student 5: I gotta pee.
Student 2: I'm hungry.
Student 4: Hey, let's go to Starbucks!
Student 1: No! NOOO! Dont' go! Vive le Resistance! Fight the Power! Flick your light switch for peace!!

Student 1 lies on the floor, weeping at the loss of her comrades.

Student 3: Can we send out for pizza?


print out flyers with anti-war stuff on the cover and pro-war stuff on the inside. small words. so they read it accidentally, and the logic soaks into their minds before they can stop reading.

run around the block a couple times in full winter gear so you get nice and smelly. dress up like a hippie and get out there. you might only trick one percent, but it's a start. deprogram one for the gipper, babe!

Changing the world, one person at a time!

You can do it babe!

I think Saddam Hussein himself would approve of coercing or forcing someone to denounce the U.S.

We tried calling Ms. Raab at her office, but she was unavailable for comment.

Come on in and visit! Drive the SUV right on in. We can heckle them together while we sit comfortably in Starbucks sipping Frappucino and wearing furs.

More of that 60's show. It's funny - my tolerance lately for this kind of thing is really low. Who do these kids think they are, 'forcing' anyone to say anything? Why should I want to pay for their education? They belong in the local McDonalds, asking 'You want fries with that?'

I hate to say it, but it sounds eerily similar to the nonsense students did at my undergraduate college.

They should at least list free beer as a demand. sneer Amateurs.


You had me at:
"Flick your light switch for peace!!"
"Student 1 lies on the floor, weeping at the loss of her comrades"

Something I learned a long time ago applies here:

"A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still"

Three words: SWAT team practice

Hopefullt they'll point a bong at the SWAT team members and, thinking it is a grenade launcher...
you can guess the rest.