i demand you say things you don't believe in!
Saturday is going to be an interesting day in New York City. I have the desire to go in there and join the protesters, to infiltrate their ranks and try to talk some sense into them.
Of course, they wouldn't listen. They wouldn't even hear. And I am almost at the point where I have given up trying to figure these people out.
Yesterday, the great thinkers of the movement took over the office of the President of Hunter College.
They have a list of demands. One of them is that the college president herself publicly denounce the war on Iraq.
Is it just me or does everyone else see the folly behind this? Forcing someone to make a statement does not force them to believe that statement.
My secret moles have come through for me yet again and I have a tape recording of what took place after the students took over the college president's office.
Student 1: Raise the flag! We have occupied this territory!
Student 2: What flag? We don't have a flag.
Student 1: Well, just wave your shirt around.
Student 3: Ok, now we have to write a list of our demands.
Student 2: I'll write it. Here's an old brown paper bag we can write on.
All: Reduce! Resuse! Recycle!
They all sit on the floor as Student 2 writes down their demands.
Student 4: Make her denounce the war. And she has to say it like she really means it.
Student 2: How do you spell denounce?
Student 1: D-E-N ummm...
Student 5: How about "say no to the war?"
Student 2: That's better. Let's stick to small words. I haven't really been to a class in years. My spelling is rusty.
Student 4: Ok, next demand.
Student 3: Lower tuition.
Student 5: Free tuition!
Student 2: Free lunches!
Studnet 3: Fee Mumia!
They stop for a round of high-fives.
Student 1: Should we write a statement for her against the war?
Student 2: You know, we could make her say anything we want if she wants to get us out of her office.
Student 3: Heh, I didn't use deodorant today. Her office is gonna smell really bad if she doesn't meet our demands right away.
Student 5: Ok, so first demand is make her say "no war."
Student 3: Umm..make her say that she thinks I'm cute.
Student 1: Stop being such an idiot. This is serious. This is about war and resistence. We must conquer the minds of capitalist pigs and arrogant Americans who do nothing but spend money foolishly and take over countries for oil! We will occupy this office for as long as necessary!
Student 5: I gotta pee.
Student 2: I'm hungry.
Student 4: Hey, let's go to Starbucks!
Student 1: No! NOOO! Dont' go! Vive le Resistance! Fight the Power! Flick your light switch for peace!!
Student 1 lies on the floor, weeping at the loss of her comrades.
Student 3: Can we send out for pizza?