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a letter to Donald Rumsfeld

Dear Rummy,

I hope you don't feel too bad about your cousins disowning you. Take it from me, the pain goes away after a while. Just have a shot of tequila, burn a few pictures of your spiteful relatives and it's all good.

I know your pain, Donald. When I was twelve, one of my sisters disowned me because I developed a huge crush on The Bay City Rollers. All of them. Years later, my entire family disowned me when it was discovered that I was secretly rooting for the New York Rangers instead of the Islanders in order to please the guy I was dating at the time. I'm sure you can relate to that, Donald. It's the whole "rooting for the wrong team" thing. Your family roots for appeasement, and all you want is to kick some ass. We were on opposite sides of the ice for a while there, me and my family. At least your cousins are a world or so away from you. Keeps all those fistfights from breaking out at Thanksgiving dinner.

In fact, I've been disowned and brought back into the fold more times than I can remember. I won't even tell you about the thing with the porn star and the nun, because I know how you feel about such delicate matters of the flesh. Just suffice it to say that I have stood where you stand now - scorned by family members, labeled a black sheep.

Just hang in there, Rummy. Don't let those weasily German cousins of yours make you feel bad. They'll come around to your way of thinking when they have nukes sticking out of their asses. Of course, then it will be too late. But you'll have the last laugh.

Trust me.

Comments

Bay City Rollers?

You got over it, right?

My sister disowned me when I voted for Reagan in 1984.

Why would Germany not supporting military action in Iraq mean that they would get attacked? Surely by agressively pursuing military options without giving inspections a decent chance first, the US makes itself more likely to be attacked, rather than being safer?

Are you sure the Germans won't have the last laugh on this one?

I dunno, Matt. I can't think of any instances where the Germans have gone out of their way to antagonize any Arab governments or peoples, but I can think of several instances of Arab terrorism in Germany, aimed at Germans. Foremost among these would be when they blew up Franfurt Flughafen in 1986. There's a reason that's supposed to be the most secure airport in Europe, you know.

Germans have been arresting al Qaida types for the past year or so.

Eventually there will be some that they won't catch.

And this is WITH their stance against the US.

Appeasement of thugs is not protection.

Hey I got tickets to the Islanders game on the 19th. Of course I'll be rooting for the Wild...

I love the idea that one service offered here at A Small Victory is comfort for politicians who are either in danger of losing their way, or perhaps, have already done so.

Just dial up ASV and you'll be comforted (maybe, if you are good, even hugged!!) and sent back out into the world better prepared to face the tough questions.

How do you deal with it when they disown you and then fake undoing it.

Like they'll pretend to be friendly in public, but will twist the knife whenever they won't get caught?

...I won't even tell you about the thing with the porn star and the nun,

Well WE wanna hear it!!!
Spill it sistah!

You rooted for the Rangers? ::shudder::