and nothing rhymes with orange
Today's post is brought to you by the color orange and the number 4.
Four, because that's how many blogs I read in the past 24 hours that had the (paraphrased) statement: If you see anything suspicious, alert the authorities.
I'm not clear on their meaning of suspicious. It's so broad, so far reaching that I could probably turn in everyone I came in contact with today.
There was the man rooting through my recycle bin. Very suspicious. Was he looking for remnants of a secret meeting I had? Was he planning on using one of the empty bottles in the bin to store some chemicals? Perhaps I should have called 911.
What about the hang-up call I go this morning? Strange breathing, a bit of muttering...perhaps if I had a secret decoder on my phone I would realize that the muttering was actually code for "We have planted a bomb in your recycle bin. Repent Heathen!" It must be the SUV in my driveway. The Arabs have come for me because I'm using too much of their oil.
7-11 was full of suspicious looking people today. The little boy who was carrying around a plain brown bag, clutching it like he didn't want anyone to see the contents. His mother was pouring coffee and keeping a close eye on him at the same time - I think her eyes could be described as shifty. Should I have called the police? They were obviously up to something.
Oh, I get it. You just want me to watch out for the "resident aliens from "those" Islamic countries (Iraq, Algeria, Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi, Syria, Lebanon, etc., etc.)." I see. Watch for the dark skin and "funny" accents, right? Geez, my neighborhood is full of them. What's a patriot to do? Perhaps I'll stake out their houses all day long. Those kids building a snowman on the front lawn look so innocent, but maybe they are hiding bombs in the snowmen!
Be alert. Be vigilant. Shouldn't those be standard issue strategies for every day of your life?
The color orange is not an excuse to go all vigilante on your neighbors. And contrary to what some people think, it doesn't mean you can do strip searches on the woman next door because you think she may be hiding something in her bra.
Be alert for low-flying objects. It's gonna be a mud-slinging kind of day.
For more - and better - words on code orange, go see Rossi, who is going to make sure if she's going to be a victim of terrorism, she's at least going down with short toenails.