please hold
(LINKS NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOUR BOSS LIKES NAKED WOMEN AND HE-WOMEN)
We're sorry. All our thought processes are clogged right now. Your page visit is very important to us. Please stay on the line and you will be served by our next available coherent thought.
.......You're motoring ,what's your price for flight......
Please continue to hold. Your comments may be monitored to ensure quality service.
.......In finding mister right, you'll be all right tonight.......
We're sorry. All our thought processes are clogged right now. Your page visit is very important to us. Please stay on the line and you will be served by our next available coherent thought.
..........Sister Christian oh, the time has come and you know that you're the only one to say........
Please continue to hold. Your comments may be monitored to ensure quality service.
>click<
Comments
Hi, my name is Mike and I'm commenting on behalf of the fine folks at the Blunderbus Society. We are commenting on all you neighbor's blogs to see if you would be willing to contribute to the cause.
All over America, people are wondering where they can get a blunderbuss in good working order and I'll be willing to wager you have found yourself wondering out loud,
"Say, I wonder where I could find a blunderbuss? I mean, one in good working order, ready to fire?"
Well, your question has been answered.
The folks at the Blunderbuss Society have been adopting these fine weapons for many years and are looking for someone just like you to take over the care and feeding of these sensitive pieces of death dealing machinery.
All it takes is a few hours a week of loading, firing and cleaning to provide a satisfying home to a neglected antique firearm.
Call 1-555-555-1212 to adopt a Blunderbuss.
"We aim to please, so you aim too, please."
Disclaimer: Some of these weapons have been abused and may discharge randomly. This behavior is not their fault. This propensity can be lessened by counseling and tender care, but no warranties are offered or implied.
Posted by: Mike S | February 6, 2003 09:15 PM
OOPS....
{/insanity}
Posted by: Mike S | February 6, 2003 09:17 PM
am now humming a strange amalgamation of sister xtian oh the time has come oh the girl from ipanema comes walking and every boy she passes the boys say ahhhhh...motorin'! WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT?
imagine if you will the pain this has fostered in the cerebral cortex of my person.
Posted by: branzibar | February 6, 2003 09:54 PM
Geez, it's getting worse.
OK, so I took a brief rest stop in Raleigh. I swear, just a few more hours and I'll be there to take you to the hospital. Hold on, sweetums! Hold on! ;p
Posted by: Solonor | February 6, 2003 10:43 PM
listening to winamp. Found the best song....made me instantly think of michele and this website. Guided by Voices...'Sister I Need Wine'
Sister, I need wine
For color in my skin
And darkness for my eyes
But I can see the light burn through
Still it is the night brings me to you
Sister, use your gift
The backed up river spreads
On ground for fighting words
And I am hating the ignorance in my body
And I can't feed on the heaviness
Sister, I need you
And we will dance for gold
And straddle the hour of fear
And learn the real story
Drink the truth
Shed not one tear
Posted by: chris | February 6, 2003 11:00 PM
I'll take you to the ball, Barbara Manatee!
Posted by: Fuze | February 7, 2003 12:33 AM
Uhhh, is there some way to warn us not to blindly click on some of your links when at work? I mean, I know I can be more careful, but some help would be appreciated.
My fav hold stuff was old Bill Cosby comedy routines. I asked to be put back on hold.
Posted by: Loyal Citizen Victor | February 7, 2003 09:13 AM
Put your cursor over the link. If it contains, oh, I don't know, "phone-sex-lovers", you might think twice about clicking on it at work.
...and knowing is half the battle!
Posted by: Jon | February 7, 2003 09:27 AM
Arrrgh....
We should have a contest for worst songs for holding...
Posted by: Kathy K | February 7, 2003 10:38 AM
I think everyone should play stand up comedy on hold. The few times I've been on hold where I didn't want it to end, it was because I was listening to Jeff Foxworthy or something. music just puts me to sleep
Posted by: chris | February 7, 2003 02:14 PM