delivering the goods
So by now I'm sure you've all seen this email:
Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other extras that women find romantic. Here is a secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their lives. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it, which is why a new holiday has been created. March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day." Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so you ladies can have a day to show your men just how much you love them. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine. The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
On the way to work today I was listening to Paul Harvey do another one of his ads-that-sound-like-a-story but I was distracted by the sight of what appeared to be a hooker on the corner. When I turned my attention back to the radio (after realizing it wasn't a hooker at all, but a high school girl dressed like one) Paul was reciting a phone number for the current ad. 1-800-SEND-BJS. Huh? Send BJs? I listened again. Oh, 1-800-SEND-PJS. As in pajamas. Whew.
However, it did give me an idea, which ties in nicely with the Steak&Blowjob holiday.
What a great present that would be. Birthday? Promotion? Your team won the World Series? Imagine how much better those already joyous occassions would be if a busty young blonde knocked on your door and dropped to her knees right there. The girls (or guys, whichever your case may be) could also sing you a little song.
Congratulations on your special day
Your brother sent you this BJ!
And now, with Steak&Blowjob Day on its way to becoming a national phenomenon, 1-800-SEND-BJS could come to the rescue of significant others who are just too busy or have weak gag reflexes.
You cook the steak, the BJ staff will do the rest. I’m a business genius.
Submit your resumes/requests below.