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i'm really very sorry

I'm such an idiot. I scheduled my doctor's appointment for 10:30, the same time Powell will be addressing the U.N. I'm sure the tv in the waiting room will be tuned to Springer and not a news station.

I want to apologize to all the people who had to gouge their eyes out or take a cleansing bath after seeing those Courtney Love pictures I linked to. Just for you, as a token of my regret and shame for harming you in such a way, I found a nice picture to wash naked Courtney from your mind. Your moment of Zen:


What, you trusted me? Bad move.

photo from yahoo


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» Hell hath no fury from Susskins Central Dispatch
That Hell Hag Michele subjected us to this. So it's only fair that I subject you to it as well. [Read More]




Reminds me how, back in the '80s, Bill Griffith would pen odes to Leona Helmsley's cheekbones in Zippy the Pinhead strips.

They are pretty mesmerizing, at that.

Great. Just great. I wonder if my mental health coverage allows for this type of scarring?

Dear Rachel,

I hate you now. And by "hate" I mean, "was laughing hysterically at the fast one you pulled on all of us, ya little imp!"

Then again, "hate" is such a strong word, no?

Duh. "Dear Rachel". groan I obviously meant "Dear Michele".

This, my friends, is what happens when you post without adequate caffeine levels. Mea maxima culpa, Michele. I'll do better in the future.

My eyes! My eyes!

That picture just radiates evil...

The good news is, I no longer need to use my glasses.

The bad news is... I'm blind now.

Thanks. No, really. THANKS.

Gee, I dunno.
Cesar Romero looks pretty good for his age.


You evil, evil bitch. My sleep patterns are going to be disturbed for weeks.



That probably would have hurt had I not ALREADY gouged my eyes out and am now reading in braille. Very tricky you are.

You know you've been blogging way too long when you regret a necessary doctor's appointment because it overlaps some politician's speech.

Get well soon!

Oh, for crying out loud! I broke my spork on my last eye-gouging attempt and now you post THIS?!?! Woman, you are CRUEL!