for better or verse
James Taranto at The Opinion Journal is looking for some good pro-war verse. The one they printed should be on a Hallmark card.
There once was a thug named Saddam
Who desired a nuclear bomb
But then President Bush
Kicked Saddam in the tush
And deposed him with quite some aplomb
I know you all are such profound poets. Give me your pro-war verse and I'll send them all along in one email.
And then maybe I'll start a line of cards just for this occassion. It's the weekend and my Photoshop is begging to be used.
Comments
There lives a dumb fuck in Iraq
who wants to give us a Bush-whack.
But we've got a plan
for this desert mad-man.
He had better start watching his back.
Posted by: Nick | January 31, 2003 01:27 PM
Saddam stood on the burning deck,
Eating red hot scallops,
One fell down his trouser leg,
and burnt him on the knee.
Posted by: kevin | January 31, 2003 01:42 PM
We need this war to go on
We need to disarm Saddam
But the U.N. is weak
Listens to Germans and freaks
On them we should drop the Big Bomb!
Posted by: Lisa | January 31, 2003 01:55 PM
Lisa... wow, you're so funny, smart, and impressive.
You're one of those people who speak without thinking. Yeah, why don't you drop a bomb on Germany, kill me, my friends, my family, and your grandmother, who you all seem to hate so much.
Hey, let's all spread more hatred, that's what we really need in this world. Hating each other is the solution to everything. Isn't it?
Posted by: Jael | January 31, 2003 02:25 PM
Umm, Jael? She's trying to stamp out stupidity. Like people who post on the wrong thread?
Posted by: other/older(not wiser) Larry | January 31, 2003 02:35 PM
there's a guy who's been doing great verse for a while at doggerelpundit.com. his version of "let it be" is a scream. check it out.
Posted by: rivlax | January 31, 2003 02:41 PM
DROP THE BOMB ON THE U.N. YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
Posted by: Lisa | January 31, 2003 03:09 PM
A comment Jael did let loose
Tried to get Lisa's goose
Bomb him we should
If only we could
turns out, he's dumb like moose
Posted by: tim | January 31, 2003 03:23 PM
Lisa, now you showed me! I just can't compete with your high level of maturity.
Eliminating the U.N. is the best idea. Noone should be allowed to stand up and disagree! Who do they think they are?
And Larry, if it makes you feel better, I will lose sleep over not following the guidelines and ruining this "poems only!" thread.
Posted by: Jael | January 31, 2003 03:24 PM
The point it seems is missed
The world Saddam has dissed
The man is a nut
needs a kick to the butt
Should learn to obey the fist!
Posted by: tim | January 31, 2003 03:28 PM
Listen to nasty Jael Bark
His words have missed the mark
No humor has he
if it was up to me
He'd be gettin eaten by a shark
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2003 03:33 PM
Boo hoo... I'm immature. Waaaaa....
THE U.N. IS USELESS. We dont need the Germans, French or any other European country's help to go in and SAVE THE PEOPLE OF IRAQ FROM AN EVIL DICTATOR. Sound familiar? We did it before back in the 40's... in Germany...
AND I NEVER SAID I HATED GERMANS (this is where the fucking idiot part comes in)... However, I do not appreciate their lack of support in this situation - or the French for that matter. I guess I'm not entitled to an opposing view to yours?
By the way, how did my dead Grandmother get to Germany with your family????
Posted by: Lisa | January 31, 2003 03:49 PM
Sing to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq. If we think someone has dissed
us, bomb Iraq. So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq. Let's prevent this mass
destruction, bomb Iraq. They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's good enough for me
'Cuz it'all the proof I need, Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq. If you think Saddam's gone
mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad), Bomb Iraq.
If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq. If your ties to it are
showin', bomb Iraq. If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy, Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq. For our might knows not our
borders, bomb Iraq. Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.
Posted by: btezra | January 31, 2003 03:51 PM
We don' need no freakin' U.N
disagree with war and it's a sin
we are our own nation
our own creation
ridin' like Roy on Trigger
takin' Saddam out
cuz our bombs is bigger
Germans and freaks
ya betta not speak
cuz we don't listen
and you don't count
eat my plutonium, yo.
Posted by: Deejay Atomic | January 31, 2003 03:52 PM
With apologies to "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut":
It's been six weeks since
Saddam was killed by boars and
we are glad he's gone.
Posted by: Palandine | January 31, 2003 04:03 PM
(Sung to the tune of Barney's Themesong which in itself was a ripoff of another song)
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's just screw di-plo-ma-cy,
Our troops have massed,
We're gonna kick your ass,
Then return to normalcy.
Posted by: JohnO | January 31, 2003 04:04 PM
I am the poet named Tim
Quoting invader zim
don't mean to sound terse
but she asked for PRO war verse
you peaceniks seem a little dim
Posted by: tim | January 31, 2003 04:22 PM
(Rivlax - tanks fa da plug!)
Saddam must GO
(To the tune of Cole Porter's Anything Goes)
Gassing kids, attacking neighbors
Were Iraqi's war time labors, now heaven knows...
Saddam must go.
Good countries too who once had better men
Are in the way of our resolve saying when...
Saddam must go.
The world's gone mad today,
The UN's been had today,
Planes in our lap today,
We'll not play the sap today,
WMDs today,
With guys like these today,
Are peace and freedom's foe.
So though he's not Islamocancer
I know that you're bound to answer
"We should depose", Saddam must go.
Posted by: Stephen | January 31, 2003 04:35 PM
Don't miss Meryl Yourish:
http://www.yourish.com/archives/2003/jan26-feb1_2003.html#2003013001
Posted by: Diane K | January 31, 2003 05:53 PM
Like, uh, we should just not have enemies
We should be peaceful as anemones
And if terrorists bring us to our knees
At least we will have had lots of practice.
Stripping for peace
Striking a blow as useful
As tits on a bull
Saddam kills Iraqis
But whatever happened to
No justice no peace
Posted by: charles austin | January 31, 2003 05:56 PM
From Lar to the poet named Tim
Why are you dissin Zim?
Seems pro-war to me
I don't get irony
We can make our national anthem
Posted by: other/older(not wiser) Larry | January 31, 2003 09:05 PM
it
Posted by: other/older(not wiser) Larry | January 31, 2003 09:06 PM
or....We can make it our new battle hymn
Posted by: other/older(not wiser) Larry | January 31, 2003 09:12 PM
Larry you kind dear sir
Jael and others infer
we should all step back
and have peace with Iraq
Zim I did not mean to slur
Posted by: Tim | January 31, 2003 09:20 PM
From the commies and Nazies of yore,
We saved all the world's nuts and more.
But that itch in our pants,
Is something called France.
Pray, why did we save them before?
Posted by: Greg | January 31, 2003 09:30 PM
I laready e-mailed this one to opinionjournal, but here it is anyway:
Some said exile for Saddam would make things well,
And the U.S. thought that idea was swell.
With a bomb that was smart
They blew him apart
And sent Saddam to permanent exile in hell.
Posted by: Frank J. | January 31, 2003 11:43 PM