There's a new disease in town and its name is e-thrombosis.
Sitting at a computer for long periods of time could kill you, according to a new study reported in the February 2003 edition of the European Respiratory Journal.
It says there is a risk of developing life-threatening blood clots from sitting for long periods at a computer, similar to a problem that has injured or killed some airline passengers on long flights.
What a modern sounding name for a disease. e-thrombosis.
The report centers on a case from New Zealand in which a young man who spent up to 18 hours a day sitting at his computer nearly died after developing a massive blood clot that formed in his leg veins, broke off and traveled to his lungs, a condition called pulmonary embolism.
If you spend 18 hours a day at your computer - and let's face it, this guy was probably playing Everquest or trying to find free porn, you have other things to worry about besides blood clots in your leg.
e-bizmarkie, which is marked by an inordinate amount of weight gain in one's posterior.
e-flamosis - a burning sensation in your fingers brought on by participating in too many online flame wars.
e-colon disease - marked by stomach aches and a slight bloating, this is what happens when you have a steady diet of soda and peanut butter crackers and refuse to leave your computer chair to go to the bathroom.
e-visineitis - a sudden drying out of the eyes; a symptom of staring too long in incredulous horror when reading stories like this.
e-gads - A sudden shut down of the brain that causes you to reach into your "save for a rainy day" file and post drivel such as this.
Give me some time to make it up to you. Don't abandon me just yet.
Now go say happy anniversary to Juan.