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there's a party in my pants and you're invited!

Kidding about the title. Sorry.

Ok, forget the Nelson Mandela is an asshat post and forget the cryptic photoessay from DJ's party. I'm just about ready to collapse.

While sitting outside smoking and contemplating life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, it occurred to me that next week some time - not sure of the exact date, I just know it was the first week in February - will mark the two year anniversary of this here weblog. From it's inception as a cheesy little Tripod site to what you see now - two years. And they say I never stick with anything I start.

Anyhow, I would like to celebrate this anniversary. I'm just not sure how to best mark the occassion of my decision to spend more time on the computer than I thought humanly possible. I'm sure whatever I do, it will include references to boobies, oral sex and Dick Cheney. Not necessarily together or in that order.

Perhaps a contest is in order. Or....something. Any ideas on how you would like to see me mark this auspicious event (because I am the kind of person who lets no small milestone pass by without a party), please let me know either in the comments or email. I'm in the mood to do something incredibly stupid.


Well, of course you know that gratuitous cleavage shots are always good. I'm just sayin', that's all.

Plan an anti-war protest protest......or just a anti-protest protest...A stand in. B.Y.O.W. Bring your own war..... or just a party.

Lots of sex...
Or comic books...
Or comedy...

Manage all three at once and I will worship you forever!

I'm still pissed that there's not really a party in your pants. tease.

Make a great 2nd birthday though - invite a few hot 'n' spunky bloggers over for a tequia cam party....

When the hell DID YOU START SMOKING AGAIN?????????????
Sigh. I can't exactly throw stones on that score. It's none of your goddamned business! And I am NOT defensive about it!!!!!!
Okay, so a celebration. How's about we all come over, love you to death (or as close as you'd like), smother you with affection, gifts, booze, CIGARETTES, illicit activities of all kinds...
And we'll bring along Sarandon/Mandela/Clooney pinatas, that we can throw things at.
How's that sound? Oh, and in case it wasn't clear, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of sex, drugs and alcohol.
'Kay? Kay.
All done now.

Or a tequiLa cam party, even.
It's the arthritis. 'Cause I'm so OLD. Really.

Congradulations on your second anniversary
Just continue to have fun.

I am NOT going to be late with this, like almost all the occassion cards I send! So here goes - Congratulations!

I just have three words for you


I say we go to Blue Tequilla!!!

I think a great thing to do on one's second anniversary is to link to me.

I think you owe us all a drink. All of us, mind you. Rent the party hall now.

A contest to see who can come up with the most creatively foulmouthed description for your weblog.


Of course, with the widely-respected and coveted Feral Living Romantic Valentine's Day Limerick contest going on, anything vaguely literary looking is going to seem derivative, so just to be on the safe side I'd suggest a different form of artistic expression altogether. For example, a Bloggerprint Contest, where entrants cover themselves in ink and press themselves against large sheets of high-quality drawing paper. (Tip: Using lots of ink, taping the paper against a wall and getting a running start gives an interesting effect, too!) I volunteer to judge, btw.

Short of that, haiku
is always a popular
form of poetry.

Of course, for your site
you could require inclusion
of deviant sex

I think it'd be great to do a "spoof page", where, for one day, ala' the Onion, you're a sarcastic liberal rag, passing off your enlistment in the Human Shield program as truth. I'd start it off with a heartfelt apology to all the liberals you've defamed, tell everyone you've picked up all the Barbra Streisand CD's you can find, and traded in your SUV for a Hyundai Electra. I'd have a field day with it, and see how many get the joke. Or you can sponsor a contest "WWMD?" (What Would Michele Do?) and list various situations , some responses to choose from, or let folks write their own. Winner gets.......oh I don't know. I'd let them decide that, too.

there's a monkey in my pants, and I'm doing the monkey dance.

so so confuse

so so confuse