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tales from the drug store

I cannot possibly keep up with all your comments on the cover songs posts like I was going to - commenting on comments and such. But I am reading and downloading like crazy.

So, today. Two hours in the doctor's office. Two hours. Every single puberty-stricken girl in town (my daughter included) was in that waiting room with a sore throat. The whine level reached decibels previously unheard of.

When the doctor finally saw us, I asked him if there was a cure for teenage girls.

Sure, he said. He offered me some Excedrin. Funny guy.

Another half hour in the small, family-run drug store to wait for Natalie's prescription for Amoxicillin. Natalie cruises the aisles.

I hear her yelling for me from the first aisle. I get to where she's standing and she's staring wide-eyed at the vast array of condoms on display.

OH.MY.GOD! They come in sizes! And...and....mom, what's ribbed mean?

I say nothing, trying to push her out of the aisle and away from the two stock boys who are stifling laughter.

What's this, mom? She points to K-Y Jelly.

Umm..diaper rash cream. It's the first thing that came to mind.

So why is it with the condoms and stuff?

Your prescription is ready, let's go.

But what is this stuff? She's trying to read the box of K-Y as I pull it away from her.

The stock boy looks at me. He's just waiting to see what I am going to say.

Well, I say, it's ummm..

It's for jock itch. The stock boy says.

Oh, Natalie says. She turns red and walks towards the counter.

Stockboy whispers, you owe me.

Please note this is the same drug store in which I heard this conversation.

I may have to start going somewhere else.


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Quick thinking stock boy he is. I wonder what you owe him though?

The phamacy we go to is in the middle of an albertson's. The condom/lubricant display is RIGHT next to where you stand. So you literally stare at it while waiting for prescriptions. Kelsey asked me the other day what they were. I told her they were for men who had problems with wetting their pants.

She's SO going to be scarred for life.

Johnson & Johnson farmed out their data entry (EDI) to a company I worked at during college. We'd be entering numbers and suddenly get to the massive KY orders. J&J's product code for a single was 8919. But there as a 6 count package with the product code of 8942. We used to call that the Party Pack.

Reminds me of the time I was about 7 months pregnant and big as a house, had a yeast infection and was in line at the pharmacy and the pharmacist tells me that I should not use it while having my period. The whole line is cracking up, and I step away from the desk so he can see my stomach and say, I don't think this is a problem. He got so embarrassed, and I got applause.
We had been in line a LONG time.

Oh Oh, and this other time I was at the convienience store, and this kid comes in and asks for condoms, and this little old lady working the counter tells him REALLY loud, Condiments? Condiments are by the cokes and nachos.
He turned several shades of red, and hauled ass.

They put em in USAF survival kits to use as water bottles. Guess it's too late to let you know. Surgical gloves for one-fingered surgeons?

My college roomie told me a hundred stories, supposedly all true, about "Crazy Dave", who he worked with when they were grocery store stock boys. The only one I remember: A lady asked Dave where the sanitary napkins were. Dave replied, "Madam, all our napkins are sanitary."

I was unpacking groceries with my former step-mother when she pulled a tube of K-Y out of a bag. I asked her what it was for. She said,"lubrication" and that's all she would tell me. So I went into the livingroom and asked my dad what lubricating oil is for. He went on a rant about cars.

I thought he was such a liar.

Okay, I just realized how gross that whole situation was.

Maybe I'm not ready for this parenting thing like I'd hoped I would be... ;-)

Now that my daughter is 15, these things aren't as horrible as they were... but walking down the street where they sell "toys" and distracting her until we get past the open door is a major challenge.

When she picked up a "dog collar" in a resale/head shop type store, and started to giggle, I knew I was in trouble.

I preferred when they thought they really were for dogs.

You get my laugh on. So funny! Thanks.

And I thought the cure for teenage girls was teenage pregnancy...

Michele -

With conversations like that going on at the drugstore you frequent, there is no way you can change. Think of your readers. Jock itch indeed.


John V

When my daughter was about 11 or so, she and an older girlfriend would walk from the elementary school to the base teen center for after-school activities. One afternoon when I picked her up there, she told me, giggling, that she and her friend Maria had seen a condom in the middle of the lawn area. This sort of thing had never been dinner-table conversation in our house, and I said: "Sweetie, do you KNOW what a condom is used for?"


And because what Maria had told her was essentially correct, all I could say was "Please don't call it a dick in front of your grandparents. You need to call things by their right name--- it's a penis."

Say what you will about sex ed, what they hear from their friends is SLIGHTLY more apt to be accurate!