« paging mr. parrot | Main | run for cover! »

climb a tree and act like a nut

Laurence suggested, in my comments, that instead of turning the dark side of trollism, I should post a recipe. Well, he didn't mean me specifically, but I took it to heart.

I spent some time thinking about what kind of recipe to post. Most of my cooking -which is pretty damn good, I must say - is done by winging it. I don't follow recipes.

And then I saw something at Andrea's blog that made the old reliable light bulb go on.

It seems one Karen Jackson of Australia doesn't like America all that much. In fact, she is so antagonstic towards this country, that she took the time out of her busy protesting schedule to pen "10 Reasons to be Anti-American." (scroll down a bit). Both Andrea and Tex took care of Ms. Jackson, so I won't go there (yes, hold on..I'm getting to the recipe thing). However, we should note that the gracious Karen did take the time to compose a list of five things she likes about America.

Number three on the list is squirrels. Yes, squirrels. Karen Jackson of Australia loves those cute, rabies infested rodents. I bet she has some cuddly stuffed squirrel up on her shelf and pictures of squirrels hanging all over her room. Loves the squirrels, she does.

Therefore, this recipe is for Amerikkka America hating, squirrel loving Karen Jackson of Australia:

SQ207.jpgCap's Mighty Fine Squirrel Stew

4 squirrels - dressed out and cut into pieces
1 cup white wine
Chicken stock
2 bay leaves

1 large onion-chopped
1 bunch green onions-tops and all-chopped
2 cloves garlic-minced
2 carrots-chopped
2 sticks celery-chopped
1 big potato-peel and chopped

Good shake cayenne red pepper
Good shake black pepper

A red brown roux -I pre-make this at home and pack it with me. half and half white flour and butter.
-The store bought roux works ok also.

Roll squirrel pieces in flour and brown in a little oil-not to long-just till brown - add to DO.

Add white wine and bay leaves and just enough chicken stock-canned is ok-to cover-place Do in coals or on top camp stove-bring to simmer-simmer 1/2 hour-add vegetables and spices and enough chicken stock to barely cover - Bring to simmer - Simmer till vegetables are almost tender - At this time add roux by the spoon full till this stew thickens up - Simmer about 10 more min - Serve with garlic bread - Beer bread is fine - And maybe a side salad.


Well, now that I can't get my squirrel sandwiches from Quizno's, I guess I really needed this recipe. Thanks!

Our dog loves squirrels, too. Probably not for the same reasons Karen loves them, though.

Karen does put Jerry Springer on her list, which I have to agree with. The man is a total slime and makes me embarassed to say that I live in Cincinnati.

I'm surprised that a nut like that didn't list squirrels as numero uno.

how come you have time to write, but no time to eat lunch with me? get your priorities straight, lady! ( I hear Bennigan's has a winter squirrel soup)

Ack!! I love America, especially Jerry Springer PPV! AND squirrels!

Squirrels in Cream Sauce

~ 2 squirrels, cleaned and cut into serving pieces
~ 1 medium onion -- finely chopped
~ 1/2 tsp leaf thyme
~ 1 - 4 oz can sliced mushrooms -- drained
~ 1 cup beef bouillon
~ 1 cup sour cream
~ 2 tbsp lemon juice
~ 3 tbsp flour
~ minced parsley

Soak squirrel in salted water overnight in refrigerator.

Remove squirrel pieces and rinse. Discard salted water.

Place squirrel, onion, thyme and mushrooms in a crock pot. Pour in bouillon.

Cover and cook on "low" for 8 to 10 hours.

Remove squirrel to a warm platter.

Combine sour cream, lemon juice and flour. Stir sour cream mixture into crock pot. Turn on high and cook until thickened.

Spoon sauce over squirrel and sprinkle with parsley.

Serve and Enjoy!

I guess you deleted that recipe I sent you a few days back.

I had no clue what it actually made, but it was better than the 'creamed gizzards' on the same page...

More murders occur in the US than any other Western country because of their freedom to own guns.

what kind of shit is this chick smoking, and does she have any left? Does she think criminals are running around with legally-bought handguns?

Uhm... is Beirut a western country?

Right, and don't forget the Western country of South Africa, with one of the highest per-capita murder rates in the world (45 per 100,000, vs. 9 per 100,000 in the US, and 15 per 100K in Holland).

Brunswick Stew:

3 squirrels, cut in pieces
1 tbsp. salt
2 onions, chopped
2 c. lima beans
2 c. corn, fresh or frozen
6 potatoes, peeled and diced
2 tsp. pepper
2 tsp. sugar
3 c. tomatoes, diced
3/4 c. butter, diced

Bring 4 qts. water to a boil, add salt, squirrel, onions, beans, corn, potatoes, and pepper. Simmer, covered, 2 hours. Add sugar and tomato; simmer 1 hour. Roll diced butter in flour; add 10 minutes before serving. Boil up; add salt and pepper if needed; serve from tureen. Serves 8.

From Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy: the Joy of Eating Natural Foods, by one Agnes Toms. Published in 1963. The front cover blurb says: "Over 2,000 recipes -- the complete guide to good eating and new vigor with natural food cookery." It has a ton of meat and egg recipes too. This book comes from the era when eating "natural food" meant replacing sugar with honey in your meal.

Bernie Goetz takes care of sick squirrels to bring them back to health. Says he loves some & hates some of them.

I'm a little upset with the fisking of Karen Jackson.

Ms Jackson did not call Mr Tex, or anyone else, an 'arseclown', 'stupid arsefuck', 'Goebbels', 'moral abyss', or any such thing. It would have been a more impressive rebuttal if Tex had managed it without all that rudeness; let the arguments speak, not the 'fuck you's'.

I'm sorry, but it's hard to take a rebuttal seriously when it basically comes down to mockery and insults. Also, some of Tex's statements are somewhat outrageous. The prisoners currently held in American camps in Cuba do NOT have a higher standard of living than Cuban citizens. Note that this does not mean that I love Castro or that I think Cuba is wonderful; I'm only pointing out that Tex's statement is, simply, false.

The US did NOT support Pinochet in order to prevent something more horrible; President Allende was democratically elected, and his term of office would have ended after six years. If the Chilean people were unhappy with his socialist policies by then (which is likely), they would have simply elected a president from the opposition. Francois Miterrand was a socialist too, but France isn't exactly Cuba, these days.

The US does NOT have the best doctors in the world. It does have the best medical technology, which is why wealthy people the world over fly to the US to make use of them. Health care in the US is generally acknowledged to be substandard for a developed nation.

And so on, and so forth. I'm not taking sides with Ms Jackson, and I'll be glad if someone writes up an intelligent answer to her post, but Tex's is not it.

For what it's worth, if you read Karen Jackson's post in context, I don't think she's actually anti-American at all. It was tongue in cheek, hence the squirrels.


Squirrels don't carry rabies. It's physically impossible for them to do so.

They carry fleas that carry the bubonic plague, though. That's a nice jaunty injection of antibiotic and you're done.

And I ain't a fan of anti americanism, being Californian and all. But I do like a good argument, and it's nice to read other opinions from other countries. I do think the US is a dominant, ego/ethnocentric, place. We don't know much about other people except the ones that come here, and we generally hate each and every wave of those.

I am not a fan of GWB. I am not a fan of his policies or his articulations problems in public. Nor do I care for war, by any of it's many names.

I suppose it's hard NOT to judge us as a whole group. I can't imagine what it's like to visit here, it must seem so decadent. I mean chocolate AND peanut butter?

I don't mind foul language, and though I didn't agree fully with Tex, I certainly got a kick out of his dissection. He just got excited.

Take care!

Hey, sigmund, you forgot to put the [WHINE] [/WHINE] tags around your post.

Amelie: there are other people? Can you prove that? Oops -- I should have put [SARCASM] [/SARCASM] tags around that.

'Scuse me. Gotta go to my weekly Hate All Immigrants rally. We're going out for Thai food later.

Sigmund Bjornstein, sometimes it's just not worth it to come up with an "intelligent response". I can post all I want about how other countries stereotype Americans. I could go on and on about how that Sterotype drives a lot of what was written in that article. But how far is that going to get me? Nobody cares to really understand what the average American thinks about all of those things, or where the average American stands on any of those things. They sterotype, and so they think all Americans are big, loud, brash, SUV drivin' (sorry michele), money and other resource wastin' people who don't care about anyone but themselves. In reality, I know the truth to be much different. But I also know nobody wants to know about that. It isn't news-worthy. Gosh, some people might actually start to LIKE Americans then. Silly.

By the way, Sigfried, or whatever your name is -- Tex is also Australian. Not American. Just so's you know.

Good points all, Tracy. The Anti-American weenies (many of them right here in the states) are always bleating "Americans don't understand other people," while never stopping to think about what they say.

Those insulated, ethnocentric types who demand Americans "Understand" other lands don't have a clue about American culture, history, or its people. They reveal their ignorance in their stereotypical descriptions of Americans, and by repeating the same tired canards.

Perhaps their shrill cries are a desperate attempt to appear relevant in the 21st century, despite all evidence to the contrary.

I can't speak for any other person's "American" culture but my Dad is mostly Irish/Indian and grew up in Italian neighborhoods in New Jersey, my Mom is Scots, German and Indian and she was raised in Western Pennsylvania. Our family traditions are an amalgam of all that and more.

To the near-sighted and bigoted morons from wherever, that insist on blowing smoke about "American" culture...

Get a clue... we are more diverse than EUrope (we got the best of your continent over the last two centuries) and are more tolerant than any other country on the face of the earth.

I've lived all over the US and attended weddings (they are a part of the culture, right?) from Maine to California, from the UP of Michigan to the Keys of Florida... no two of them were alike.

That's how we do it here, we marry the cultures. Polish traditions mixed with Cherrokee, then a litle German thrown in. Some Italian cooking with the crazy folk tales from that Hungarian aunt. The Vietnamiese sister-in-law who taught everyone how to make great rice cakes.

The culture of the hillbillies here in the Ozarks is very different from that of the hillbillies in Kentuckey. Chicagoans are different from New Yorkers.

This country has so many different cultures it cannot be described as "American" culture.

This is America, bitch, get used to it.

We have bigger dicks, prettier women and faster cars
We drink more whiskey, spend and give away more money
We can kill our enemies without even seeing them
Our computers are faster
The tits are bigger on our TV stations
Our gay men can shoot better than your army (Go Pink Pistols!)
Our lesbians can kick your men's asses

We are successful because we work at it.

And remember,

Wimps always mistake confidence for arrogance, so fuck off!

Greg, above, has received and posted some bad statistics. The US murder rate (1996) was 8/100K, Netherlands was 1.8/100K, not 18/100.

This mistake apparently started in McCaffrey's (then director of the U.S. Office of National Drug Control Policy) infamous July 15, 1998 speech. When he was corrected a few days later, his spokesman didn't apologize: he explained "What you are left with is that they [the Dutch] are a much more violent society and more inept [at murder], and that's not much to brag about."

Sigh. In any case, let's please not propagate the error.

Wimps always mistake confidence for arrogance...
steals line from Mike S., and makes it his own.
Thanks!!! :0)


The numbers I posted on the US were from www.census.gov. The other countries' rates were from a source citing Independent Newspapers (1997).

Keep in mind that these are only murder statistics, not overall violent crime, which has plummeted in the US in the last decade or more (per US Census data) while rising significantly elsewhere.


My name is Sigmund, not Sigfried. I thought I'd written it clearly, and you did get it right the first time.

I'm not sure what your point is, here. I know that Tex is Australian; his blog makes it quite clear. I said that he was rude and that some of his arguments were wrong, period. Being Australian does not excuse being a jerk.

I don't mind foul language, either. What I do mind is the idea that you can counter someone's argument by making fun of them and calling them names. I used to do that in first grade, and even then I knew that I was being a jerk. For adults to do that, well it's just absurd.

BTW, I do not mistake confidence for arrogance. Don't mistake politeness for wimpiness.

Sigmund Bjornstein

Excuse me for being very rude here but this nonsense got me going

The US does NOT have the best doctors in the world. It does have the best medical technology

Hello? The MRI machine was born from a CAT scanner humping an old X-ray? What the f*ck are you thinking?

Sentence was breathtaking in its absolute stupidity...!

A tool is only as good as the person who created it and the person who weilds it. The US has some of the best doctors in the world because we are still fighting the idea that are glorified civil servants. Doctors here can work their asses off and be rewarded for their dedication and efforts.

And I don't know who it was that "generally acknowledged" US healthcare as "substandard", it ain't, but understand IDIOT that it is US citizens footing the bill for other countries, like Canada, getting a free ride on state-of-the-art pharmacology.

And, you'd better consider, no one in the US today has to go without necessary medical care.

And Oh... another point, those prisoners in Cuba are there legally. US Constitution allows it. That's what happens to illegal enemy combatants.

Look, Sigmund, sometimes an argument is so laughable that by attempting to actually refute it would make you look like a bigger fool than the original idiot. Hence, you move on to name-calling.

Here's my take on anti-americanism:

I'm European, and before 9/11, I did my fair share of mocking americans because of their piss-poor knowledge of geography and their beer that was a lot like making love in a canoe. But you know what? I actually possess a brain, and have noticed that the fucking beer and the damn ability to find Luxembourg and Andorra on a map is ALL we have on them. Who the hell landed man on the goddamn moon? Who pioneered computers? Telephones? The airplane? Mass production? Democracy as we know it?

The French have CULTURE, they claim. Name one French composer who isn't a second-rate hack. The French have Victor Hugo, and a plethora of cheese. I don't think that outweighs spaceflight or the goddamn semiconductor.

All the culture in the world can't hold its own when you pit it against the actual achievements of the USA.

And you think you can negate this by invocating Jerry Springer? You're a moron.

Our beer is not like making love in a canoe, if by that you mean "watery and unsatisfying". Not any more. Twenty years ago, sure, but it's an old stereotype that no longer holds.

Well, we get Bud here, and while I wouldn't say watery and unsatisfying, it's still mild-tasting and weak. But it's not BAD. I've also had Miller and Coors and they're about the same.

On the other hand, Heineken is hop-flavoured dishwater, and it seems to be popular over there. I'd pick Bud over that swill any day. Of the bigger european beer brands, I only like Carlsberg, or Stella Artois. Czech beers are excellent, so are British, Finnish and Estonian brands (go home team :). Avoid Swedish 'beer' like the plague.

Oh, and the actual canoe thing goes as follows (not sure if you know this or not):

A:'You know, American beer is a lot like making love in a canoe...'
B:'How so?'
A:'They're both fucking close to water.'

Actually, we have other beers besides the mass-produced ones you name. But I don't know if the microbreweries (which produce beers ales comparable to European counterparts) here export their beer.


Actually, if you read Karens piece--and her responses to criticism you'll discover three things.

1. It was NOT 'tongue-in-cheek', she wrote it while angry.

2. She loves squirrels. Seriously.

3. You didn't read enough before leaping to her defense.

Three strikes, you're out. That's a 'baseball' metaphor. It's an American thing, you know, Casey at the..oh never mind.....

Fair enough.

As for American beer, I can think of at least 5 really good ones: Live Oak, Sierra Nevada, Anchor Steam, Sam Adams, and a lovely wee thing I tried once called Black Chocolate Stout. That's just off the top of my head; there are many more.

I don't know whether Saint Saens and Debussy count as second rate hacks or not, but I always thought Danse Macabre was kinda cool. And Sam, you impress me: I admit I have no idea where to find Andorra on a map.

This is all getting way off topic. If any of you lot feel the need to discuss MY ideas (as opposed to Karen Jackson's -- she is an entirely different person, whom I don't even know, mind), I'll be glad to oblige, even if you call me an idiot. You've got my e-mail.

My only point HERE, though, was that Tex's 'response' to Ms Jackson was nothing more than making fun and calling names, which is childish and stupid. I'm not objecting to the content of either Jackson's or Tex's posts; I object to grown up, otherwise intelligent people, reacting to posts they don't like by saying 'Oh, yeah? Well, you smell!'

It either deserves an intelligent response, or none at all, being beneath your notice. 'Moving on to name calling' is guaranteed to make you look like a bigger fool than the original 'idiot', because it makes it appear that you can't argue rationally.

Arsefuck is what you say to the clown that spills your pint. When you're discussing serious politics, the first one to say arsefuck looks foolish.


Last time I checked, squirrels are mammals, and ALL mammals can carry rabies. Just setting the record straight.

My only only response to Karen's misinformed diatribe would be if she could kindly account for some significant differences I've experienced as an American living in Australia.

Let's see...back home in Minnesota, USA we have world class medical care, top-notch public schools (most students go on to uni), an effective police force and quality, well-structured road systems. Over here, hospitals are falling apart at the seams so we're all being forced to get private insurance, public schools are so neglected that everyone is steadily being forced to send their kids to private schools, half of the police force is on stress leave with stations closing right and left, and roads are pathetic with city planning in Sydney for example having obviously been carried out by an orangutan.

We have all of this over you with a pittance of the tax rate you have here. Not to mention that your complete neglect of basic public services smacks of eliticism, something Aussies love to charge the U.S. with time and again. At least we aren't so blatant as to put our middle income families in the highest possible tax bracket, then slam them with a GST. Not to mention taxing them to the hilt on a second job - heaven forbid they take the initiative to work hard. Don't bother giving them a set rate on a basic mortgage or the ability to deduct mortgage points on tax. And don't forget to throw in that hideously expensive car rego fee every year. I could go on and on... Long live the excessively wealthy class in Australia!

Here, the welfare-dependent system you've created is in stark contrast to the hard-working, productive work environment I'm from. An Australian unemployment rate of 6% is considered excellent - that same rate in Minnesota would be a tragedy.

Come visit my hometown of Minneapolis and you will see a clean, friendly place: you will not see the litter, graffiti, vandalism and crime that you witness here. People still leave their doors unlocked and know all their neighbors. You don't need a car security system to get vehicle insurance and you can leave your canoe by the lake and no one will steal or vandalize it. You can find any place easily when driving around, and get there within minutes. Volunteerism is still alive and well, and most major companies require it of their employees. They also offer maternity leave, job sharing and childcare arrangements.

Compare this to "the Lucky Country", where vandalism, graffiti and stealing seem to be a national heritage, and are rampant in even the nicest suburbs and towns. Three of my neighbors on one block in a nice Sydney suburb have been robbed in the past year alone. Give me this supposed "gun culture" any day - I know where I feel safer. Here there is a sad neglect of children: no availability of childcare, no maternity leave, job sharing is unheard of and public schools get no funding. For shame.

The difference is that where I come from people have infinitely more respect for other people and property, and the environment. Unlike here, our bush areas, beaches and cities are free of garbage and crime is rare. In most places in the U.S., forest fires from arson is almost unheard of. Our playgrounds aren't being closed due to everyone suing each other, and doctors in all areas of speciality are still on the job (oh, but isn't the U.S. supposed to be the most litigatious society in the world? Sorry Australia, you just took that honour.)

In the Midwest, we have few laws but everyone obeys them. Over here, you have squillions of laws and no one obeys them. What a system.

Even our major banks are still friendly, accessible and charge reasonable rates. But here, like with most things, the rich fat cats in banking and other industries are given free rein to do whatever they want. I guess the "fair go for all" went down the Aussie toilet years ago. I got a Telstra telephone bill the other day for $250 - something like that would cause anarchy where I'm from in the U.S. But not here.

And lastly, Americans may be more ignorant of the outer world but they are infinitely friendly and would give someone the shirt off their back in a time of need. They also do not tend to bury their heads in the sand when issues need addressing. I know what country I'd rather live in.

It seems Karen's advice for the U.S. "to clean up it's own backyard' would equally apply, if not more so, to Australia. Maybe you could some visit the Midwest, U.S.A sometime Karen and get some ideas on how to do this.

Minneapolis police to investigate Indians' claim of brutality

Chris Graves and Howie Padilla

Star Tribune

Published Jan. 30, 2003

Community leaders called Wednesday for the firing of two unknown Minneapolis police officers who witnesses said manhandled an American Indian man before leaving him and a woman outside in freezing temperatures

Pesticide levels in children twice that of adults, CDC says

Tom Meersman

Star Tribune

Published Feb. 1, 2003

How St. Paul plans to cope with shortfall

Kevin Duchschere and Herón Márquez Estrada

Star Tribune

Published Jan. 31, 2003

St. Paul Mayor Randy Kelly plans to eliminate or leave vacant 116 city jobs to prepare the city for expected cuts in this year's state aid to local governments.

St. Paul 13-year-old charged with stabbing classmate during lunch

Published Feb. 1, 2003

A 13-year-old boy was charged with second-degree assault Friday for allegedly stabbing a 14-year-old girl during a lunchroom fight at Wilson Middle School in St. Paul.

Charges say man carjacked couple, molested girl
Jim Adams

Published Feb. 1, 2003

Charges filed Friday allege that a stranger carjacked a 19-year-old Edina man and his 16- year-old girlfriend and molested the girl before the couple escaped in south Minneapolis.

4 gunmen rob Minneapolis bank

Jim Adams

Star Tribune

Published Jan. 30, 2003

Four armed men roughed up employees during a robbery of an Excel Bank Minnesota branch Wednesday in northeast Minneapolis, the FBI said.

United Hospital official apologizes for mastectomy mistake

Associated Press

Published Jan. 18, 2003

A St. Paul hospital apologized for a laboratory mixup that resulted in the amputation of a healthy woman's breasts after she was mistakenly told she had an aggressive form of cancer.

What racial profiling means

Dan Browning

Star Tribune

Published Jul 23, 2000

The term "racial profiling" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing to police as it does to other people.

Comcast lays off 89 people in Twin Cities

Steve Alexander

Star Tribune

Published Jan. 31, 2003

Comcast Corp., the east-metro cable TV company still doing business under its old name, AT&T Broadband, confirmed that it laid off 89 of its 1,400 Twin Cities employees Thursday. The layoffs were effective immediately.