« or was her lipstick just smudged? | Main | Carnival time! »

in which i finally answer the loaded question

I'll get to the SOTU later. There's something I would like to get off my chest first.

I got an email this morning and I would like to respond in depth, the length and breadth of of all the questions, but I have other things to write about today. I will, however, finally cover this one question, because it is something that appears frequently in my inbox.

What about abortion? You have alluded to it, written about it and then backed off the subject. Let me come clean once and for all. Yes, I am pro-choice. To an extent. I believe that up to a certian point in a pregnancy, a woman has the right to do what she has to do without interference from a governing body.

That said, I myself would never have an abortion. While I believe you may go ahead and do that if the need arises, it would not be a choice for me. Not for any religious reasons, as I have none.

There is no question of a religious nature here. I am an atheist. Just to get that out of the way.

I didn't always feel that way. Although I pretty much practiced abstinence until I was in my late 20's, I always figured that if I did have sex and I wasn't careful and the dreaded event happened, abortion was a way out. This from a Catholic school girl.

Of course, as I matured, I toned that attitude down a bit. It wasn't until 1992, when I became pregnant with what should have been my second child, that I turned those thoughts around.

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. That's two months. That makes the baby that was inside me just a tiny little thing, not at all viable on its own, having barely developed beyond the blip on a radar stage.

Yet, it was my baby. I told relatives. I picked out a name. I started looking at baby clothes in the store. I made plans. And then it happened, a bit of bleeding, some cramps and a trip to the OB-GYN to confirm what I already knew. A few days later I had a D&C and that little blip in my belly was gone.

Well-meaning friends and relatives heaped the cliched phrases on me: Don't worry, it wasn't developed yet. It wasn't even really a baby. It's not like you heard it's heartbeat or anything. You were only eight weeks.

They dismissed my baby and they dismissed my heart ache and that has stayed with me long past the susbequent birth of my son a year later, long past the time that one usually "gets over" these sort of things. Because it was a mind-changing, if not a life changing event for me. A watershed moment, if you will.

Yet, I remain pro-choice because I know not everyone wants the child forming inside them like I wanted mine. Not every woman will care for a child - or be able to care for a child - the way I would have that tiny little thing. I may not like the decision you make in that matter or even agree with it, but it is not my place, nor anyone's elses, to say what you do with your own body and your own would-be child.

I have a sister who cannot have children. I have very close friends who are going through the same agony and sadness my sister and brother-in-law have gone through, trying to conceive, trying to carry a pregnancy to full term. I can't imagine intentionally removing a baby from its womb.

Then again, I have never been in that situation. I cannot walk in those shoes, nor would I want to.

Yes, I am pro choice. But given that choice, it's not one I myself would make.

I don't know if that clarifies or explains anything for you. I will probably not broach the subject again, so this will have to do as an answer for the inquiring minds.

Comments

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Like you, I believe that in the first couple of months of pregnancy, a woman has a general right to abortion. But I also believe that as time progresses, the unborn child should have more and more legal protections. Unfortunately, that view point is declared "anti-choice" and I fear that, despite your self-labeling, you too are not sufficiently "pro" in your support of choice. If you were a Republican seeking public office, NARAL would take your abortion views, tie them around your neck, and attempt to sink to the bottom of public opinion. Such is the course of this debate, it is not enough to be pro-choice, one is now required to be pro-abortion to be accepted by the Left and that is something to which I will NEVER succumb.

I have had to deal with that decision. You should be eternally grateful for never having had to walk down that path. No matter how the decision is made or what the decision is, there are no winners- NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NADA.

I made the mistake of posting on abortion on the 30th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. It didn't take to discover that I'd made a HUGE mistake. People who normally gently disagree with me became strident and borderline insulting.

Rule #1: You will never, ever change someone's opinion on abortion. That belief is rooted in concrete for 99.99984% of the population.

Rule #2: When in doubt, PLEASE refer to Rule #1.

I share your opinion on the topic. Pro-choice, but with some limits. That being said, like you, I could never do it myself. And that's coming from a person who has no desire to have children in her lifetime :)

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

The thing that I don't understand is why anyone would think it was their right to email you and ask (or demand) to know your feelings on this. What nerve! You should be able to write about it when you want, and not think about the issue when you want. This is YOUR journal.

I just cannot IMAGINE the audacity of people who email you about such an emotional matter. Some people need to learn some tact. You'll talk about it when/if you want to, and when you don't, you deserve to be left alone about it.

If you talk about ANY issue one day, then don't feel like talking about it again, that is YOUR BUSINESS.

Michele, I totally feel sorry for you, the crap you have to go through just to have a space to write your thoughts. I admire you, because if I had to deal with the stuff you do here, I would have taken my journal down long ago. You GO girl!

What BeerMary said.

Also, I agree with your stance on things and it's tricky like the first commenter mentioned. Good thing I'm not a politician!

I liked that Bush wants to do something about the partial birth abortions, because that is where my pro-choice stance ends.

As a college age kid, I was vigilant about birth control, but in the back of my mind always thought if it came down to it, I would have an abortion.

That all changed when someone very close to me had one. The minute she told me, my stomach sank and I knew it was a decision I would never make. I don't hold it against her however and support the decision she made. Believe me, she regrets it enough on her own.

Thank you for sharing this, Michele.
It means a great deal, more than you know.

Good post, Michele. I was surprised, when I did my post on abortion, that I didn't get more flack about it. I think only one person said anything opposing my view, and that was in a different blog that referenced my post.

But, as others have said, I can't believe anybody has the audacity to demand your feelings on the subject be posted!

Michele, my mum had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and ended up dealing with it all at home, alone. She had the same thing happen, where most friends and relatives dismissed her pain and grief, basically telling her to get over it.

I was only two at the time, but when I was older, and she told me the story, I was so angry at the way she'd been treated. I appreciate your sharing your experience.

Thank you.

I have, in fact, changed people's minds on abortion. I have changed my own, too, to a limited extent. I can think of at least two people whose opinions I've influenced.
--

There is a tiny group in this country that considers abortion at any time for any reason to be murder and would outlaw it under almost any circumstances. There is another, somewhat larger minority, that would outlaw it except in cases of rape or severe deformity or life-threatening circumstances.

There is another tiny minority that would allow any abortion at any time for any reason, period. There is another slighly larger minority that would allow limits, but only in the last three months or so, and would put only the lightest restrictions on it even then.

The only big difference is that the first two groups recognize that they are a minority. The last two groups are under the delusion that their view represents the majority.

And those in those last two groups shriek and howl that anyone who wants to change any little thing about abortion law, who want to put any new limit of any kind anywhere, stand ready to outlaw birth control, throw women in chains, and turn us all into a fascist religious dictatorship. They tell us constantly that we are all in horrible danger of that happening at any minute, any second.

What's funny is that those folks also often suggest that those who disagree with them are "obsessed" with the subject.

---

Look at any survey, by the way, that breaks out abortion attitudes between men and women, and you'll find women are more conservative on this issue as a rule than men are. And that the demographic group most likely to be radically pro-choice is men aged 18-35.

As for the pro-lifers: just go to a pro-life rally. Not only are the events dominated by women, they're often women who've actually had abortions and are still haunted by the decision.

I'm not a pro-lifer. I'm a pro-choicer. But I'm tired of the constant portrayal of the other side as demons.

--

The truth: the great vast majority of American women and men are very much between these two extreme groups.

That last group makes up the great majority that makes up the rest of us. And more of us are women than men.

We tend to believe that the procedure should be legal, but that the further in the pregnancy you go, the longer the woman has had to make choices. We tend to believe that men deserve respect and certain rights in the process. We tend to believe that the procedure deserves a certain amount of discouragement. And beyond a certain point, you've made your choices, you have something more than a lump of tissue there.

And we aren't stupid enough to believe that any limits any time anywhere are a horrible slippery slope toward enslaving people. They aren't. That's just plain bullshit.

We are the majority. Our voices will not be silenced by either of you.

I respect you for having the courage to post about this topic, Michele, and I feel very much the same as you. I couldn't ever have an abortion, but I completely respect and honor the decision of those who choose to do so.
Dean, you also stated it right on point for the majority of those I know.

i had 2 miscarriages, too, after being told by an insensitive jerk of a doctor that i'd never carry a child to full term. i have 3 kids now...2 are clomid babies, and the other is our 'gift' or 'joke', depending on the day and hour. i was not happy when i found out that i was having the 3rd, even thought about abortion for a bit. strange that after 2 children and 2 miscarriages that i could consider it, but that's how unhappy i was. my husband was in the military, a jr. nco, and working a part time job in addition to his military job. we talked, we did our separate thinking, finally decided this third child may be the one to take care of us in our old age. now that he's 8, well, maybe not...but still, he'll never, ever be a mistake. a personal decision, and one each has to live with. i don't wish it on anyone as i'll always wonder in my heart what the 2 that didn't happen might have been.

The most comments I ever got on a post (excepting the cunnilingus fairy one, that is) was a list of things I believe in strongly. Along with my beliefs that a strong military is good and that Pizza makes an excellent breakfast food, I simply said "I am pro-choice". Nothin more, nothing less. But I got lots of comments and some very ugly e-mail.

Just as an anecdotal datapoint, I've had an abortion (and subsequently, two kids) and I've never had a problem with the decision, before or after--no depression, no negative feelings at all. But then, my mother had an abortion when she was a teen, and also had a baby she gave up for adoption when she was a teen. I'm pro-choice, and I'm in the minority that thinks abortion is an acceptable answer any time during pregnancy, because women still die in labor with no warning signs, and I think every woman has the right to choose when to risk her life for another person's life.

On the other hand, there's Jane Roe, of Roe v. Wade fame, who is now a pro-life activist and deeply regrets taking part in that effort.

The only thing I continue to object to in such discussions is the a priori, axiomatic assumption that those on one side or the other of this issue are evil and intent on subjugating people, or are advocates for murder.

My mother refused to have an abortion, and gave up the child for adoption instead. She was a dedicated pro-life activist for a while. I never agreed with her, but I respected what she was doing.

Hi...I noticed that a lot of you are pro-choice but with limits. For a long time I was in that category. Which is funny because my attitude stayed that way even after having a child. It wasn't until I found out in detail exactly what goes on during an abortion that my mind started to change on the subject.

Now normally, when I focus on an issue, I'll stay focused for about a month or two until I've exhausted the subject and realized it's not as big a deal as I thought. But not this. I've been actively researching abortion and abortion laws, adoption, abandonment both legal and illegal...pretty much anything and everything to do with the treatment of the unborn and newborns.
In fact, I've even gone to the depths and researched victims accounts of pregnancies that resulted from rape and incest. Did you know that most rape and incest survivors prefer not to have abortions? Many of them prefer adoption. The pregnancy gives them time to heal, so to speak, and they begin to develop compassion for the child growing inside them...who is, after all, a victim as well(and not just the child of the rapist, but the child of the mother too). I've spent a year doing all this, including speaking with doctors and psychiatrists.

So now I've changed my mind and i think that yeah, everybody has a choice...but it should just be adoption instead of abortion(if the pregnant woman doesn't want to be a parent). This world needs more compassion. Abortion seems like a quick fix but it's not.

Geez, I hope this doesn't sound stupid to all of you. I mean, here I am totally pouring my heart out...will you all at least read what I have to say with an open mind...just think about it and don't be all like "Gosh, another super-religious bible thumper here" (which I'm not. I'm just somebody who cares).

Thanks :)

sex dsfsdfdsf
fsd
fsfsd

ebony sex ebony girl ebony porn ebony teen

Thanks for great site

"My age at that time was 20 years. My stepmother's sisters paid regular visits to our home. My father's financial position was much higher than that of my stepmother's family; they were very poor.
My stepmothers elder sister, Sofia, paid visits to us regularly, every two or three month and when she came she used to stay there at least 8/10 days. She was near the end of her youth, being almost 38 years old, but she had got a mortal beauty and was pretty. She had long straight blonde hair, blue eyes and was tall."
http://www.familyx-files.com/family_incest_pictures_and_stories.html
http://www.familyx-files.com/pics_of_incest.html

nice stories, I like it.

"My age at that time was 20 years. My stepmother's sisters paid regular visits to our home. My father's financial position was much higher than that of my stepmother's family; they were very poor.
My stepmothers elder sister, Sofia, paid visits to us regularly, every two or three month and when she came she used to stay there at least 8/10 days. She was near the end of her youth, being almost 38 years old, but she had got a mortal beauty and was pretty. She had long straight blonde hair, blue eyes and was tall."
http://familyx-files.com/family_incest_pictures_and_stories.html
http://familyx-files.com/pics_of_incest.html

nice stories, I like it.

Hustler hustler.bz

Nude Video nude-video.us
Hentai anime hentai-anime.us

Nude Black nude-black.us

Sexy Babes sexy-babes.us

Pussy Movies pussy-movies.us

Ebony Xxx ebony-xxx.us

Nude Movies nude-movies.us

Hentai Porno hentai-porno.us

Teen Hentai teen-hentai.us

Manga Porn manga-porn.us

Men Sex men-sex.us

Barely Legal Teen barely-legal-teenb.com

Gay gay-b.com

Pussy pussy-d.com

Teen teen-d.com

Porno porno-v.com

Babes babes-d.com

Video video-n.com

Amateurs Xxx amateurs-xxx.us
Gay Boy gay-boy.us

Amateur Movie amateur-movie.us

Amateur Porno amateur-porno.us

Hardcore Pussy hardcore-pussy.us

Teen Babes teen-babes.us

Men Porn men-porn.us

Gay Nude gay-nude.us

Naked Gay naked-gay.us

Amateur Lesbian amateur-lesbian.us

Lesbian Girl lesbian-girl.us

Adult Porno adult-porno.us

Sexy Lesbian sexy-lesbian.us

Anime Adult anime-adult.us

Adult WebcamsChat with Sexy Girls ; Amateur Webcams amateur live; Adult WebcamLive Webcam ; Private webcams private ; webcams live; Chatroomswebcam chatrooms; college girl webcamscollege girls; free adult webcam free webcam; free sex webcamssex webcams free ; freeones webcams freeones; private webcams personal webcams webcams personal; nude webcamswebcams nude ; live webcams; teen webcams; webcam chatroomslive chatrooms ; webcam nude nude cam ; amsterdam webcams amterdam webcams; free webcam chatfree webcam chat ; girl webcam; free webcam girlwebcam girl; free webcam chat free webcam chat Erase if don't like: free webcam free webcam free webcam teens webcam teens free webcam chatrooms webcam chatrooms free free webcam chat webcam chat free free webcam chat rooms, ,
: free teen webcams ,
: free nude webcams

: free webcam teensfree webcam teens free live webcamslive webcams free teen webcams PLEASE report abuse to amber2meet@yahoo.com

Adult WebcamsChat with Sexy Girls ; Amateur Webcams amateur live; Adult WebcamLive Webcam ; Private webcams private ; webcams live; Chatroomswebcam chatrooms; college girl webcamscollege girls; free adult webcam free webcam; free sex webcamssex webcams free ; freeones webcams freeones; private webcams personal webcams webcams personal; nude webcamswebcams nude ; live webcams; teen webcams; webcam chatroomslive chatrooms ; webcam nude nude cam ; amsterdam webcams amterdam webcams; free webcam chatfree webcam chat ; girl webcam; free webcam girlwebcam girl; free webcam chat free webcam chat Erase if don't like: free webcam free webcam free webcam teens webcam teens free webcam chatrooms webcam chatrooms free free webcam chat webcam chat free free webcam chat rooms, ,
: free teen webcams ,
: free nude webcams

: free webcam teensfree webcam teens free live webcamslive webcams free teen webcams PLEASE report abuse to amber2meet@yahoo.com

Hallo,

ich kam beim Herumsurfen vorbei und wollte Euch einen kurzen Gru hinterlassen. Vielleicht habt Ihr Lust, auch mal auf meiner Homepage vorbeizuschauen. es gibt dort einiges an interessanter Software kostenlos herunterzuladen. Frohes schaffen noch!

Gre,
Thomas

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

AmateurMatch adult dating - try it out 100% free

http://www.hotfunsingles.com/ca.html

Hallo,

ich kam beim Herumsurfen vorbei und wollte Euch einen kurzen Gru hinterlassen. Vielleicht habt Ihr Lust, auch mal auf unserer Homepage vorbeizuschauen. Vor allem fr Webmaster ist unsere Page interessant.

Gre,
Thomas

WOW! I like this guestbook... that's cool

http://www.online-dating-service.com
online dating service

Interesting. When is Google's IPO anyone know?
butalbital

Interesting. When is Google's IPO anyone know?
butalbital

no, i disagree but still has to point out that this site http://www.jerking.biz says something different as jerking.biz that is if free full dvd and xxx porno also exclusive xxx mpeg movies and galleries of fingering fetish gay anal asses and cum shots pussy licking ass fucking doggy style is so gay but anyway we have to consider that injail free porno sex is fucking dog not righteuos as well as if we would be making porn free pictures and porno absolutely xxx free jpg galleries we would make younger people to disctract them from doggystyle fucking main goal and movies and erotica jerking.biz is out jerking biz it is as is. so after all i hope this does some clues to you . And dont forget it is no access below 18 years old!. God forgive my cumming and wetting ass (><) for this unsolicit shit jerking.biz sucks

great post thanks!

great post thanks!

thank you taylor little will help with your problems.

thanks for the info here is some acne treatment info.

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.

bairontechnologiesforall
bairontechnologiesforall
http://www.bairontechnologiesforall.biz

Crazy plasma laser show. http://www.phi.kiev.ua

. Domolux - .
. http://www.domolux.com.ua

2 much spam in here :-(

2 much spam in here :-(