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where are they now?

Bernie Goetz - The Subway Vigilante.

Surely you remember Bernie, the man who shot four young men on a New York Subway in 1984? (He may be a victim/hero or a violent racist depending on your view)

Besides his basically unpublicized run at the Mayor's office and some court appearances, Bernie managed to stay out of the limelight that he basically created for himself.

And yet one does wonder from time to time, Gee, what has Bernard Goetz been up to?

That's what I'm here for. To satisfy that curiousity.

Bernie is currently making his living as a pea.

Not just any old pea, no. Penelope Pea. And Penelope wants you to go vegetarian.

penelopepea.jpgGoetz's credibility as a spokesman for the vegetarian cause is somewhat hindered by his legacy as the man who, in 1984, shot four teen-agers with his unlicensed .38 handgun. His only regret, he said later, was that he had run out of bullets. (He served eight months in Rikers Island.) "I would much rather be known for playing a small part in the vegetarian movement," he said.

Don't kill the animals! Kill the people!

A few weeks ago, Goetz made one of his pea-pod appearances, in the city's annual Halloween Parade. That evening, he and some fellow-volunteers gathered in Rice's apartment. After Goetz slipped into his costume, he looked over and nodded approvingly at a cohort dressed in a giant vine-ripened-tomato suit. "Goodówe needed this. Excellent! We should have a walking banana, too." He hung a sign around his neck that read, "Give Peas a Chance." "There's magic in this costume," he announced. "The pea pod casts a spell. People react positively to it. They just do."

Later that evening, as Goetz marched up Sixth Avenue, amid axe murderers, Roman emperors, and transvestite vampire hookers, his towering outfit attracted throngs of admirers, many of whom wanted their picture taken with him. "Did you make that costume yourself?" one girl asked.

"I was born in this costume!" Goetz replied in his high-pitched pea-pod voice. "Don't eat the animals!"

The big tomato, who was following Goetz to keep him supplied with pamphlets, stumbled and almost fell. "Careful, Tomato!" Goetz called out.

I do not make this shit up, folks.

I have this recurring post-apocalyptic dream where I'm running around shouting "Soylent Green is Vegans!!"


Thank you to my supplier Carol for this story.

Comments

Goetz's credibility as a spokesman for the vegetarian cause is somewhat hindered by his legacy as the man who, in 1984, shot four teen-agers with his unlicensed .38 handgun.

Well, it's not like he ate them . . .

"Did you make that costume yourself?" one girl asked.
Lucky for her she didn't ask him for five dollars.
I do not make this shit up, folks.
No worries, Michele. Not one person in a million could dream up something so bizarre and yet, so...appetizing. I'm off to the freezer. You know what goes great with peas and potatoes? Steak!

He also said something like "the meat made them do it...." haha

heh... I ran into Bernie Goetz in downtown Manhattan a few months after the subway incident. Dude was looking over his shoulders at every turn. Paranoid as hell.

I thought he was the coolest, until he became cocky and said things to the press like "Oh. You don't look so bad, here's another..."

Then I decided he was an asshole.

I'm speechless with astonishment. That's weirder than Dana Plato's little run-ins with the law.

I'm not too chicken to say this, because there's a lot at steak here: He's not a pea pod, he's a ham! I probably shouldn't roast him about being such a turkey, though. I'm sure he gets enough ribbing about it.

Now I'm feeling hungry, for some reason...

LOL! And this is what makes America great. And I mean that.

BarCodeKing, you're hilarious!

Michele, I really did think you made up the text in the box. That is just too funny!

What I want to know is where did Goetz get an exact replica of my high school prom dress?

Apropos "Futurama" moment:
On "Soylent Cola" -
Q: How does it taste?
A: It varies from person to person.

I think he's crAZY !!!

I mean who does that stuff what a crack head

and he ran for mayor What SASUAGE !!

FUCK THAT MAN IS GAY !!!!!!!!! U fuckin loser !!!!!!

I think he's crAZY !!!

I mean who does that stuff what a crack head

and he ran for mayor What SASUAGE !!

FUCK THAT MAN IS GAY !!!!!!!!! U fuckin loser !!!!!!

I think he's crAZY !!!

I mean who does that stuff what a crack head

and he ran for mayor What SASUAGE !!

FUCK THAT MAN IS GAY !!!!!!!!! U fuckin loser !!!!!!

Yes, he was the peapod again on Easter and is planning on running for mayor again!!! And he had a plan to end the war by dropping hardcore porn on the Arabs(?) in Iraq. Oh well... I wrote the letters on his website (which are now uncredited due to a falling-out.

Addendum: sorry to have forgotten this. he also appeared in a film late last year, "Every Move You Make" about a woman being stalked. He plays a criminologist, who, on videotape, advises the heroine to either contact her local Mafia or buy a gun. The man does get around.

huh

huh