where are they now?
Bernie Goetz - The Subway Vigilante.
Besides his basically unpublicized run at the Mayor's office and some court appearances, Bernie managed to stay out of the limelight that he basically created for himself.
And yet one does wonder from time to time, Gee, what has Bernard Goetz been up to?
That's what I'm here for. To satisfy that curiousity.
Not just any old pea, no. Penelope Pea. And Penelope wants you to go vegetarian.
Goetz's credibility as a spokesman for the vegetarian cause is somewhat hindered by his legacy as the man who, in 1984, shot four teen-agers with his unlicensed .38 handgun. His only regret, he said later, was that he had run out of bullets. (He served eight months in Rikers Island.) "I would much rather be known for playing a small part in the vegetarian movement," he said.
Don't kill the animals! Kill the people!
A few weeks ago, Goetz made one of his pea-pod appearances, in the city's annual Halloween Parade. That evening, he and some fellow-volunteers gathered in Rice's apartment. After Goetz slipped into his costume, he looked over and nodded approvingly at a cohort dressed in a giant vine-ripened-tomato suit. "Goodówe needed this. Excellent! We should have a walking banana, too." He hung a sign around his neck that read, "Give Peas a Chance." "There's magic in this costume," he announced. "The pea pod casts a spell. People react positively to it. They just do."
Later that evening, as Goetz marched up Sixth Avenue, amid axe murderers, Roman emperors, and transvestite vampire hookers, his towering outfit attracted throngs of admirers, many of whom wanted their picture taken with him. "Did you make that costume yourself?" one girl asked.
"I was born in this costume!" Goetz replied in his high-pitched pea-pod voice. "Don't eat the animals!"
The big tomato, who was following Goetz to keep him supplied with pamphlets, stumbled and almost fell. "Careful, Tomato!" Goetz called out.
I do not make this shit up, folks.
I have this recurring post-apocalyptic dream where I'm running around shouting "Soylent Green is Vegans!!"
Thank you to my supplier Carol for this story.