« it's report card day! | Main | poll vaulting: i want a new peep! »

cutting through the bullshit for you

No need to read listen to long-winded press conferences. Here's the readers digest version of the council meeting:

Negroponte: "He's full of shit and he's never going to disarm."

Blix: "He's out of his mind and won't disarm."

ElBaradei: "I kinda like him. Let's hang around here some more."

Kofi Annan: "We need more time. Not forever, but close to it. Oh, I'd like to give a shout-out to my buddies in France!"

Ari Fleischer: I hope Helen Thomas isn't here.

Comments

You left out Saddam's "nya nya nya nya nya"

Hee. I am Helen Thomas' #1 fan - thanks for working her in!

The first time i read a Helen-ated Press Conference transcript i was sure that it was a hoax... surely nothing that comedic could ever occur in the Whitehouse? It's more fit for a SNL skit, with Ari being played by a shifty-eyed regular who seems unable to speak anything resembling the truth. Yet, imagine my total wonder and awe to find out that Helen is not only real, but an extremely regular fixture of the PCs!

Anyhow, so, yeah, i got the joke. Very funny.

Don't toy with us, Michelle! Are you saying that Saddam "fails to keep foreign weapons away from hands and face," or simply that he "does not play well with others?"

You forgot Dubyah: "It's not about the oil, I promise you Saddam has nucular weapons of mass destruction!"

Oh, and Tony Blair - "Hey lookee here George, I'm with you, I'm your buddy!...See France, my friend can kick your friend's ass any day of the week!"

Truly an outstanding effort on the report card, and the interpretation of those statements, well those are just brilliant.

You're only forgetting one thing. This is WAR we're talking about here. Cut the U.N. some slack here, these are big time grown-up issues that need some time to be resolved. I understand that Mr. Bush hasn't done anything good for his country, and is doing his best to undo all that Clinton managed to accomplish, but he can't go jumping into an armed conflict just because Daddy did it, and he wants to live up to Father's expectations.

Oh, and has anyone noticed Simon (India) and Theodore (Pakistan) playing with nukes over there in the corner, maybe someone should be keeping an eye on them too, Alvin (Iraq) isn't the only trouble maker around here.

(giggle)

Ok, what's with the anonymous giggling? Sheesh people, if you're going to laugh, own it!!!

'Not forever, but close to it?'

Michele, you're priceless!

This is WAR we're talking about here. Cut the U.N. some slack here

Why? They aren't going to be fighting it. We're the ones who always get stuck cleaning up other nations' messes. :(

This is WAR we're talking about here. Cut the U.N. some slack here

Why? They aren't going to be fighting it. We're the ones who always get stuck cleaning up other nations' messes. :(

Frankreich und Deutschland: They say war is not the answer but in the same breath they 'URGE' Iraq to disarm. The UN says the same thing, that Iraq has not been very open about the UN declaration and they urge he 'comply' or else face consequences. Yet Saddam has said he is not scared of war and UN sanctions and his own people suffering while he and his leaders live high on the hog....what will giving him more time accomplish? Oi!

Whats the copywrite law on this beautiful site? Can I steal this? Yes? Thanks

PS Would you marry me?

Thank you.....I have been working out....Are you directing that at me? I am flattered but I am not gay and wont be for any amount of money or world peace. Thanks again.

Scot you dork, was speaking of my new dream Goddess Michele. I am enamored with her beauty.

In response to "Why? They're not the ones fighting it..." Uh, hello! My point exactly. No one should be going to war with anyone else. War, violence, not the answers amigo. The U.S. shouldn't be cleaning up anyone's messes but their own. Take a look at the economy, or maybe gun control, medicare. Do you really believe there is time to go around picking fights with other countries? Maybe the Bush administration should take care of it's own before taking care of other nations. Unless, you believe, like the rest of the world, that this is all about oil and thus Bush is taking care of his own, albeit in a disgusting manner.

You could always add in Tony Blair too:

"We'll do whatever the mad cowboy King Bush II says we should do."

Archer, you'll have to get in line, there's a very long queue.