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10 simple rules for reading my blog

I've been maintaining this weblog in one form or another since February, 2001. In that time I've written at least two lengthy posts with my space, my rules theme. Perhaps I should make it a yearly thing, just to get the year going right and make sure everyone understands the way things work around here.

Let's start off with the basics.

1.I own this spot. I pay for the hosting, I pay for the domain name. That makes it mine and it means I can do whatever I want with it.

2. I welcome you all here. I'm glad you are here. Leave as many comments as you want, email a hundred times a day if that's what floats your boat. Just try to remember that I - and the other commenters - are not some faceless, nameless droids without feelings. I really don't care what you say about me, but lay off the other visitors here.

3. The only time I will delete a comment is if it is threatening to another commenter or if it can be deemed as outwardly racist, anti-semetic or homophobic. If you want to post that kind of venom, get your own site and do it.

4.I am all for opposing viewpoints. I like debate and discussion. But if your idea of debate and discussion revolves around name-calling and berating without any intelligent rebuttal or discourse, you look like an ass. I won't bother deleting your comments though, because if you want to make an ass out of yourself on my space, I have no problem with that. Sometimes just leaving your comment out there to hang is the best debate ender in the world.

5. Don't take my words and post them on your blog without proper credit. If you do that and I find out I will flame you so fast you'll think your ass is on fire.

6. I am not afraid of wars in my comments. I am not afraid of dissent or opposition and I certainly am not opposed to listening to someone else's point of view. I've been accused of being afraid in this regard, of cowtowing to people because I didn't want to the blog or the comments to be confrontational.

Think again. Read this post and the hundred or so comments that followed. Or this one. Or this one.

7. Leave my children out of your political ravings.

8. If you leave a derisive, opposing, negative or pissy comment and you do it anonymously, I will not take you seriously and will most likely just pretend you don't exist which - for all intents and purpsoses - you don't if you can't bother to leave your name or email address along with your hate and stupidity.

9. I don't go over to the blogs of people with different outlooks than mine and sit around all day polluting their comments. I am not much of a commenter on other blogs. I will only leave a comment when I feel I have something of importance to add to the conversation already at hand. I don't leave flippant remarks in your serious posts. I don't make jokes at your expense on your own blog. I don't come over to your website every ten minutes to say something just to piss you off. I mean, what is the purpose of heckling a blog? What do you get out of it? Either get your own space and write your ravings there or if you already have one then stop being a schmuck and go rant about your crap in your blog.

10. I want you to like coming here. I want you to feel comfortable leaving your thoughts in the comments and not be afraid that some jackass is going to come along and start flaming you. This is why I don't stick to only politics or one specific subject. I like to mix it up and have some fun in addition to all the war and terrorism and serious issues that I post day to day. I never want someone to visit this site for the first time and be totally discouraged and turned off because of someone else's comments. Do me a favor - if you have something incredibly negative to say and you don't think you have the brain power to put it down in a manner that wouldn't come across as belligerent or nasty or antagonizing, just say it out loud to yourself. You'll feel better after that, I promise. And if you can't handle the view of someone who leans more to the right of center than left, if you can't handle cursing and the occasional boob shot and fart jokes and my insistence that we kill Saddam; if you can't handle my pro-Israel stance or my anti-gun regulation musings then just use that little X in the upper right hand corner and don't come back unless you are willing to debate and argue with your brain, not your ass.

Thank you and come again.

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Comments

Amen

Not only are you brilliant, but you are much nicer, more patient, and more charitable than I ever hope to be. You Go, Michele-with-one-L! :-)

boob fart boob fart boob fart

Put a note on your monitor that this needs to go in the 2003 Must-Read list for next year, okay?

I guess it's just been a whole week of Weird Commenting Conflict, from reading around on other blogs, and catching a little of it myself on another blog.

Well said. I'm printing this one out.

I am the king of my own fucking underwear, and you can fuck off if you don't like it!!!!

I didn't write that.

Yeah! What she said!!!

And P.S. One 'L'.

Also, if you start leaving comments here, you must continue to do so or else she will go berserk!

Does this mean I should lay off the snarky comments?

Michele rules! Oh, I'm so eloquent, I scare even myself sometimes! :-)

Well put, well put!

We may have to Imperially appropriate those rules, because they describe the Imperial policy very well too!

You ROCK, girl!

Having been officially vetted, the snarkiness will resume immediately.

Snark, snark!

(Sekimori, please don't stop the car again. I'll be good.)

Remember this?

Sometimes the freaks stick around for the ride.

They don't get any more informative or interesting, but, hell, if everyone finds themself stranded out here, at least they can be used for food...

There's a thought...

I just knew you were going to bring that up, you crazy cow.

I thought I lost you for a while there, now i realize it was your mind that was lost, not you.

Very impressive. Thank you. :-)

Hmm, you may have a point there. I've now been up (awake, not necessarily functioning as a valid member of society, in the not-undead sort of way) for 53 hours straight, and I'm sure that most of the stuff i'm seeing around my room isn't exactly real per se.

It's all in aid of a story, but I don't think it's helping the plot coherence any.

Still, it's the oddest welcome to a site i ever had. Not that i didn't deserve it, but I did have to ask a friend what a 'wife beater' was.

Not that I'm reformed or anything. Hell, I'm not even sure that I'm housetrained over here yet. I wouldn't look under the couch if i were you.

Just saying...

Well said Michele!

It's a pity so many attention whores are attracted to blog comments. Leaving their word turds to dry in the sun is prolly the most civil and effective means of discouraging them.

BRAVO!! Well said!!

[cue rapturous applause]

Then there's always the problem of trolls. The general rule is DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

Actually, I'm all in favor of feeding trolls. The only question is, what do we feed them to?

Just keep doing what you're doing, Michele.

Yes Ma'am!

I normally agree with your points, Michele. But one thing I will not compromise on...I will remain a Schmuck

As long as your're a consistent schmuck, it's ok.

(You should click on the link to jsps's blog to get the joke)

Hear hear :) Well said, as always.

I think you mean kowtow.

Great set of rules. One sees too much cant, cavil, and insult instead of logic, evidence, and argument based up by fact.

Isn't that spelled "anti-Semitic"?

This isn't the post with you in the wet t-shirt... is it?

Damn. I'm lost.
I hate when that happens.

I'm still searching for the " occasional boob shot "

:)

Michelle You so rock It feels like someone crawled into my brain and put my inner voice into words,not one of my talentes
I feel exactly the way you do about the Sheryl Crow and that dirty looking guy whats his name? ......Oh yeah Kid Rock video. Just about taste my lunch when that one comes on. Adult Swim here I come.
Keep on saying it like you know it. And NEVER COW-TOW!!!!!!! PEACE \O/LOVE\O/ And \O/JESUS\O/

Remember those beer commercials, "I love you, man!"?? OK, after reading your site - I love you, man!

You're a great writer - I'm a newbie to your site and plan on returning - thank you for sharing.

Don't ever change Michele. Michele is so much prettier with one "L."

Thanks for these appropriate rules. I do see the need and am thankful there are ppl like you who write them down.

Boob shots? Boob shots!

Wenn ihr nach echt tollem Schmuck sucht,zu wirklich sehr günstigen Preisen, der eure Frau trotzdem begeistern wird,dann müsst ihr unbedingt auf diese Seite.

Wenn ihr nach schönen Badmöbeln sucht um etwas Leben in euer Bad zu bringen,seid ihr hier genau richtig.