the bill of no rights
See? This is what happens when you ask people about blogs they read. It leads you to great discoveries.
Nicole included a link to BeerMary. I promptly went to her blog and found this fascinating post, which I will replicate here, but you should still go visit her blog.
I received this in an email (thanks, Dr. C!), and re-wrote it to more closely reflect my personal opinions. The original version has apparently been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.
Now, I don't know which parts Mary changed, but I like the whole damned thing. I know I will get hate mail over this but frankly, I don't give a damn.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: A whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the unearned right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. Get off your ass and earn it.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone-not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm due to your own stupidity. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your inbred relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. Children should have access to it, and the disabled, and those temporarily down on their luck. But if you're able-bodied and able-brained, and you're in your 20's, don't be waving that Medicaid card in my taxpaying face, you ass.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to a cushy job without earning it. All of us sure WANT you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. Also, just because you've completed your education, you don't automatically deserve a six-figure income. You'll have to work your way up, just like everyone else, so stop bitching about your pay, and stop bitching about having to work a job that may not be "fun". Hey spoiled brat, if jobs were fun, THEY WOULDN'T PAY YOU TO DO THEM.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness-which by the way, is a lot easier if you learn the Country's language and are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by greedy lawyers and those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights."
If you like it, go over to Mary's and leave her a comment saying so. If you don't like it, move on and don't bother with posting your opposition unless you are going to be an adult about it.