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you can't take me anywhere

I went with my sister to help her pick out a wedding gown tonight. We found one and she looked absolutely stunning in it.

The store was small and quiet. Just me, my sister Lisa, my sister Jo-Anne, my cousin Tori and the two women who worked there.

It wasn't my fault that the headless see-through manequin had boobs with nipples. I mean, what do you do when you see nipples? You tweak them. So, I played with the plastic nipples, no big deal. Right?

I'm sure that would have been fine if I did not make one very Freudian slip when Tori was deciding what shoes we would wear with the bridesmaid gowns.

"Oh, I could get a nice pair of silver strap-ons to go with that!"

I mean strapless. Strapless. Really.

I hope they let me back in on Saturday.


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More reminiscing! My brothers had gone to go get their hair styled at the time blow-cuts were all the rage (gawd- I'm such an old fart!). They came home to show 'em off, and my mom says "Oh- I see you two got your blow-jobs"!


I think I have just laughed up my pancreas. :)

Oh, man...are you invited to any bridal showers before the wedding??? You should SO put that in an UNLABELED box as a gift!!!

Well, if your family has a sense of humor...

I suppose future porn stars are born with a silver strap-on in their mouths instead of a silver spoon...
Oh, I am so going to hell.

Anyone who publicly displays a mannequin with nipples should expect that :) My mother very kindly pointed out "hey! that mannequin has nipples!" the other day while we were at the mall... I don't care if I've been out of the house for a long time... I don't care that we've moved from mother-daughter to colleague relationship... I do not want to hear those comments from her! Of course I'm going to do the same exact thing to my kids, preferably while they're still at home.

And well, Bill, if you're headed to hell, at least I'll have good company :)

Somehow, the words just above your comments form seem so appropriate right now...

It gives a new meaning to shoe fetish, though, doesn't it?

make sure that those strap-ons don't require an adaptor pack.

I worked with a guy whose idea of a lunchbreak was to stand and stare at the mannequins as the shop assistants were dressing and undressing them. In winter his drool would freeze at his feet.

The best Freudian slip I ever heard was at a steakhouse with a friend of mine and his wife. The waiter was a nice-looking young guy, and my friend's wife had ogled him a bit. Then she ordered the "10-inch filet." Being the way she is, she barely blushed.

Yours is a close second though.

Actually, now that I think about it, I do remember seeing mannequins with nipples in this one department store.. and I was like, why the heck do mannequins need nipples?! They don't even need HEADS. Or legs/feet, half of the time. o_O