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last thought on the situation today

I'm still really pissed off that the principal brought up the fact that I am divorced. His exact words were:

P:I didn't realized you are divorced...
me: since remarried...
P: well, we see this type of behavior often with children of divorce. They are looking for attention from their mothers.

So he was claiming that either DJ is making things up to get attention, that I don't give him enough attention, or both. I said:

The other boy who is being bullied, his parents aren't divorced. At that point, the principal changed the subject.

The Norwegian Blogger came up with something very interesting:

Meanwhile the general corruption of the educational system, or to be honest society at large, never tells people "There's something wrong with you" (unless they are conservatives), but always says "YAY! GO YOU!" and deliberately tries to bolster their self-esteem, this triggers pride and high self esteem, and when they get in touch with the real world they lash out at anyone and anything that challenges their own high self-image.

So then you combine the bureaucratic tendency with that of the ideologue, combined with an overwhelming sense of pride, and you have something out of Kafka, now let me explain how things goes with bullies, pay attention now children because this is how it works according to the Norwegian Blogger:

Now go check out the table he made to show the different responses to a bully situation.

Anyhow, enough of this today. It's giving me a headache.

Comments

What a jackass! One of my son's high school teachers made the mistake of remarking to the entire class that often kids act out in class because they didn't get enough attention at home...directing her remark towards my son. Fortunately, parent-teacher conferences were a few days later, I called the school to specifically request a conference with her and she & I had a little discussion about how my son has ADHD and how inappropriate her remark was. I was very angry, polite, but firm. She apologized to him during the next class.

I got the impression she thought I was going to kick her ass...not true, I was going to get her fired if she didn't correct her behavior.

Actually... the school system here has decided that pumping kids full of self-esteem is no longer good.

So now my school as decided to treat kids so as to diminish their self-esteem, being as it is a great lesson as to how Real Life is.

V. amused.

Had this problem when I was in Jr. High. A large bully can pick on the smaller kids individually only untill the smaller kids jointly decide they've had enough. Then there's a "regime change".

You showed remarkable restraint... I would have offered a more pointed opinion as to the schools responsibilties to the children in their care.

They really do have parents by the short & curlies as they indocrintate generations of children with their half-baked social agenda/engineering.

OK, it's time to take off the kiddie gloves, Michele.

From now on, you tape every conversation you have with Mr. Principal asshole. I'm hoping that you're living in a State where you only have to have one party's consent to doing so, in which case you won't even have to mention that you're doing it.

If not, you start the tape recorder when you enter the room, THEN openly state that you desire to tape the conversation.

If he refuses, then you politely stop the recorder, with his statement that he won't let you put him on record for his opinions still on it.

Other than that, you document anything having to do with this case, then tell the Jackass that if he refuses to do something about Big Bully, then you WILL drag him into a courtroom do something about HIM in full public view and that, if you do that, he should know full well that he can kiss his job and career goodbye.

Then, if he still plays "cutesy" with you, tell him that the conversation has ended and that the next he hears from you will be from your lawyer and MAKE SURE to retain one immediately and DO AS YOU TOLD, having your lawyer file an official complaint with the Principal, the School Board and the Court.

That oughta put the fear of G-d into the bastard.

Oh, P.S.:

His comments about you being a divorcee are, as far as I'm informed, grounds for filing against him for discrimination.

Time for a non-pizza party ... your posts illustrate that the bully is bullying many kids. Organize four or five sets of parents, and bring-back the sit-in, only be discreet about it. Four parents go to the BBF's pizzeria at peak time and request a table for ten. The other six trickle in. Request only water. Take your time ordering. Or say you're still deciding. Request only water. If you're inspired, string 'em along for three hours, then leave without ordering anything.

Michelle

I'm late to this topic, but had to share my own experience...and let me say that with few rare and wonderful exceptions, public school administrators are a sorry bunch of arrogant pantywaists who view parents with as much enthusiasm as a vegan views a veal cutlet.

IMHO the best thing you could have done, you did -- telling your son to defend himself and that you'd back him up if you did.

My #2 daughter, Erin, was in high school, when in one of those typical teen triangle things, briefly dated a boy who's ex-girlfriend then decided to go after her. The girl shoved her in the hall ways a couple times, and was heard to make nasty comments. Erin was in the lockeroom changing for practice (varsity soccer) when the girl jumped her, grabbing her hair and trying to kick her. Erin went into goalie mode, grabbed the girl's arms, wrapped her legs around her waist, and flipped over onto the ground. The girl, losing her balance, let go of Erin's hair. That was about the end of it, Erin thought, as two other girls and the coach came and got the girl off her. No such luck. Erin was promptly suspended as a "co-combatant" because she had grabbed the girl's arms hard enough to leave red marks.

Needless to say I had some very choice remarks to say to the Vice-principal who called me up and was snippy and insulting in how derelict I must have been to have raised a girl who didn't understand the rules of not fighting...that she should have gone to a teacher earlier in the day when she heard this girl making comments. When I challenged him about the girl jumping my daughter he baldly said "it is not our place to judge who started it...." "Oh, yes it is," I interrupted, "that is exactly what your job is. By making them equally responsible you are rewarding the perp because they are getting their victim in trouble. What was Erin to do, lay there and have her hair ripped out and be kicked?" He refused to give me any straight answer. So, I told Erin her 3 days were vacation time, and took her shopping and to lunch. I told her at anytime she felt she had no choice but to defend herself to do it and she would always have my support. That meant more to her than anything.

Hang in there. You did GREAT, mom!