i resolve to make every day bitchslap ted rall day
You all remember bitchslap Ted Rall day, don't you? That was a mighty fine time we had there. We need to do that more often.
Voting has slowed down as everyone strolls off to their debauchery and revelry.
Me, I'll be making the trek across the street to my parents house to ring in the new year with my family. This doesn't mean I don't drink; it means I drink twice as hard. You would, too if you had to spend the night listening to my father's jokes and my brother-in-law making blow job innuendos.
I've made some new year's resolutions. It's been my practice to make only resolutions I know I'll be able to keep. Therefore I resolve to:
Call Ted Rall a seething, rippling meatball of hatred and jealousy, among other things, at least once a day.
Make a new enemy every week.
Piss someone off, intentionally or not, every day of 2003.
Never listen to Creed on purpose.
Continue my shredding of the fine folks at Indymedia.
Question the existence of France on a daily basis.
Spend most of my hard earned money on comic books and action figures.
Bitch and moan about things I have no control over.
Fill my posts with gratuitous sex and violence.
Continue to have gratuitous sex tinged with violence.
Eat lots of dead animals and drive my SUV like I own the road.
Pretend to be in the process of quitting smoking.
Finish up the screenplay for Night of the Loving Dead and the as yet unamed graphic novel collaboration with my husband.
That's just for starters.
I'll start early tomorrow morning by purchasing an after-Christmas present for my husband, to go in tandem with this book. In the words on Coop's site: "If Coop shat a brick, this would be what came out!"
Maybe if I stalk him enough I could get him to sign it without shelling out the 200 bucks for the signed copy. Which leads me to my next resolution: more boob shots!
Wait, that was your resolution for me, wasn't it?
Anyhow, have a safe night. Take a lesson from Juan Gato and stay home in the dark instead of venturing out on the roads. And watch out for people groping your crotch and stealing your wallet while you wait in the freezing cold for a midnight terrorist attack.