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The 2002 SmallVictoriestm: awards you may not want to win

I'm just getting warmed up. I'll probably be doing posts like this intermittenly for the next week or so. Feel free to add your own two, three or five cents.

I'm also going to put up a poll for the Blogosphere story of the year. Basically, which news story was the most widely discussed on blogs, or most important to bringing blogging out of the dusty corners of the web and into the mainstream. If you have nominations for that, let me know.

Now, some movie awards:

Worst remake of the year:

Rollerball. If you blinked, you missed it in the movie theaters. If you are a sadist, you rented/bought the DVD. If you saw the original with James Caan in the movie theater in 1975, you - like myself - didn't even bother to see the 2002 version. Yet, you know it was unspeakably bad.

Blasphemy of the Year:
Slap Shot 2. The greatest sports movie of all time did not need a sequel, especially one starring a Baldwin brother. Old time hockey! Eddie Shore! Eh, nevermind. You wouldn't get it.

Movie that nobody saw that I really liked:

The Salton Sea

Movie that everyone liked that I hated:

Mr. Deeds. Then again, I hate Adam Sandler with a passion usually reserved for my loathing of Ted Rall.

Movie that just did not live up to it's potential:
Death to Smoochy. What should have a been a dark, funny, sinister farce was vapid, boring and disappointing.

Movie that I watched in 2002 although it didn't come out in 2002 and should win some kind of award:
Battle Royale:

Japan at the dawn of a new millennium. The country is in a state of chaos, violence by rebellious teenagers in schools is completely out of control. The government hits back with a new law: Battle Royale. Every year a school class picked at random will be cast away on an abandoned island to fight it out amongst themselves. It lasts three days, everyone gets food, water and a weapon, ONLY ONE MAY SURVIVE.

This, folks, is must see theater.


And Adam Sandler is on your shit list because...?

I thought I was the only one that didn't like him. sniff I don't feel so all alone now...

Because I don't find him funny at all. And because my ex is constantly letting the kids watch Adam Sandler movies at his house and my son comes home saying things like "peeing your pants is cool." And because he's a terrible actor and plays almost the same character in every movie. And because he is JUST.NOT.FUNNY.

Battle Royale Rules The Fucking School. I want the special edition DVD set. I have a crappy Asian bootleg.

You know, the director is planning a sequel, as the first movie only covered about half of the Japanese Novel it was based on.

By the way, an English Translation of the novel is coming out in a few months. From what I hear, it makes the actual movie look like a Disney Adaptation.

Yep, I couldn't understand why more people didn't go see The Salton Sea either. Judging by what the other people in line said while they were waiting to get their tix for it, they were there to see the movie because it had two FBI agents that become hooked on meth.

Which of course, it didn't, but that's what they were told and they seemed to believe that this was a definitive case of art imitating life.

I'm gonna have to pick it up on DVD now that you've reminded me of it.

I don't know... I personally enjoyed Death To Smoochy. But, then again, I generally like most of Robin Williams movies that aren't geared to the dimwits (*ahem*toys*ahem*). To each their own.

Loved the Salton Sea.

Slap Shot II, such a misguided venture, but it was fun to watch them film it here in Hollywood North and see those Hanson boys.

About Adam Sandler: If I smoked pot I'm sure I would love him, but I have to say that Punch Drunk Love is probably my fave movie of the year.

If there is one regret I have for the past year, it would be going to see Rollerball. Loved the original, and got to see the remake for free. What a waste of time that was. Absolutely no redeaming value!

I can't explain why, but there was something about Death to Smoochy that kept my interest. Maybe it was seeing the hippo get wacked Italian style... not sure.

Ah! I loved Battle Royale! It reminded me of my High School days, back in southern Japan.. Well, except for all the death and carnage, that is.. (though, it very well may have made my AP Lit. class far more interesting. --"did you read the selection?" "No, I-" BOOM! [head explodes]) I was under the impression that no one had seen this movie. Hot damn, Michele! I knew you were cool, but now you have moved to the ranks of ultra-super-mega-lucky-no.1-cool! Ganbate!

Aaaaaw, I liked Death to Smoochy...

Especially the step dad song. That rocked. And Pam Ferris was fantastic as usual. Just as good as Matilda.

Still not out in Britain tho, so I'm lording it over people cos i saw it in late March in LA. hehe.

Not a bad year for Robin Williams. Robert DeNiro's year tho? Man, did that suck. Showtime AND Analyse That. Is there a war crimes tribunal for this sort of continued atrocity?

I just saw Big Trouble. Don't even remember it in the theater, it was good.

Piss on Eddy Shore!
Does anyone know what that great song that played over the closing credits was?

I'm sorry, that should be "Piss on old-time hockey!" No offense to Eddie Shore.

Myself and a couple of friends were in the movie, Death to Smoochy actually. We were the figure skaters in behind.

I love battle royale, it's been one of my favourite films for a while now, probably since i first saw it, id found out about the concept on the net and managed to get a hold of it when it came out in japanese cinemas, its a wonderful film and the sepcial version adds more depth to the film aswell :)