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A Little Pope-A-Dope For Your Amusement

(Posted by Laurence Simon as part of the Amish Tech Support Occupation of A Small Victory during the holidays)

I really don't envy those of you out there who are Catholics. I mean, here's an example of a Catholic who needs to get in touch with a good Jewish lawyer: Pope makes plea for peace.

You might have missed it, considering that these days there's 500 channels out there for you to watch instead of the 4 or 5 broadcast channels all covering the same scratchy video out of Rome. Here's a few mumbled highlights the BBC felt necessary to pollute the web with:

Delivering his Christmas Midnight Mass homily at the Vatican, the Pope said the Nativity signified "God's merciful love" for the poor and oppressed, for sinners, for those who felt lonely and abandoned.

Christ's message remained valid for "those suffering from conflicts of every kind", the head of the Roman Catholic Church said.

"The centuries and the millennia pass, but the sign remains, and it remains valid for us too - the men and women of the third millennium.

"It is a sign of hope for the whole human family; a sign of peace for those suffering from conflicts of every kind; a sign of freedom for the poor and oppressed; a sign of mercy for those caught up in the vicious circle of sin; a sign of love and consolation for those who feel lonely and abandoned.

"A small and fragile sign, a humble and quiet sign, but one filled with the power of God who out of love became man."

At this point, with his empire reduced to a few city blocks in Rome and even starving nations of the world spitting the atom and spinning the products down into warheads, any good attorney would convince him to plea war but negotiate for a reduced sentence.

Let's face it: this Pope's done his job. Poland's a free country now, every slope has been skied, and ignorance about women's reproductive rights has been maintained for yet another generation. Now that he's asleep at the tiller, the hired help's getting their grubby hands on the merchandise and getting slapped time and time again by the press, so to speak.

He's just been working off fumes, and the incense is burning low. It's time this guy got his eternal nap and a few days lying in state so that another guy can free his country.

Maybe some good can come out of a little change. Who's the Archbishop of Zimbabwe these days? Do they have a Lech Walesa in a dashiki down there for Pope Unga Bunga the First to act as PR Guy to, or has Bobby Mugabe already slit his throat?


here's an example of a Catholic who needs to get in touch with a good Jewish lawyer

Hee hee! Hey, you know what? My accountant, lawyer, and agent are all Jewish. That may seem sterotypical and racist to some people...

I'm not a fucking idiot. I know what works. :0)

Not as racist as "Pope Unga Bunga the First" but we get what you mean.