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Waking up...

(Posted by Laurence Simon as part of the Amish Tech Support Occupation of A Small Victory during the holidays)

Most people wake up on Christmas Day to stacks of presents and the occasional corpse of a pet that ate just a little too much tinsel.

Me, I wake up to the furniture having been moved around while I slept.

A few pictures are off the walls, a few others are back on the walls, and an end table has moved from the entryway to a spot next to the couch. Also, the kitchen now has a few hanging green glass lanterns that will shatter over the cat food stations when the hooks end up falling out like they always do.

The cats are spooked by the changes, rubbing their cheeks against anything that's out of place and wandering around to get a good idea of how to navigate the furniture should they decide to chase each other like crazed rabbits.

The aspirin and shotglass of Goldschlager are still there. I figure that if the fat son-of-a-bitch ends up coming here, then he's tired enough to need a belt and some pain relief.

Just as well he didn't come... even though Nardo, Piper, and Edloe would have bolted, Frisky would have smothered him to death and we left a firelog going, too.


Santa did it. He was hoping you'd miss the coffee table and whack the crap outta your shin for dissin on him....