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weren't you supposed to be christmasing or something like that?

(Posted by Laurence Simon as part of the Amish Tech Support Occupation of A Small Victory during the holidays)

Jesus, is that cumbersome or what?

At first I was going to say "Well shouldn't you have your name or some credit variable in your template, you holiday-crazy bitch?" but then I realized that I don't have a credit variable within the template on my own site.

That's when it hit me. I'm not so crazy as to open up my own site to outsiders. You must be really fried from all this Christmas crap you Goyim freak out over. I offer to bust my fingers and keyboard to keep the homepagefires burning, and you come back here for the nitpicky bitchslap.

Fine. Just be ready to hand the reins over to me for a few months when they haul you off in your brand-new straightjacket for being such a site addict.

RELAX, WOMAN! ENJOY YOUR FREAKING HOLIDAYS! I'VE GOT A HANDLE ON THINGS! IF YOUR READERS ARE SO DUMB AS TO CONFUSE ME FOR YOU, THEN... Then...

I'm breaking that cardinal rule of insulting the readership again, aren't I?

Oops. Just chalk that up to a "Bad Ash" moment, okay?

As for the feedback via e-mail, I'm getting cc: copies of all the comments that are being posted up here. If you feel like sending something to me in private regarding what's up here, trust me, it's not worth saying. If you're going to try to take me down or make me flinch, you're going to need large numbers of very large people and private e-mails won't make that dog bark.

Comments

I love you. The only one who is going to send you mail is me, and it will probably me crank mail, because I kind of miss making crank phone calls.

Ok, ok...I'm off to my aunt's house to drink and eat until I'm unconscious and forget to put the presents under the tree. Again.

Is this the same File13 that posts in BobtheCorgi's comments? Dude... you're hilarious!

How come you're not famous yet?
Who's your blogging agent? Want mine?

I knew it was a smart move not calling that number. There's just something not right with that boy...

Just remember to shop-vac the place, Simon. Michele always runs a clean shop. (Sorry, just shot eggnog out my nose...)

Large numbers of large people? Is that a sizist remark?? Harrumph! That does it. This means WAR! No.....wait....I'll just tickle you and then run off with your cats.