« Carnival #14 is Coming | Main | Mcbullshit! »

It's as plain as the nose on your face...

(Posted by Laurence Simon as part of the Amish Tech Support Occupation of A Small Victory during the holidays)

What is it with people shooting beverages out of their noses as a result of reading my stuff? Day after day, I get e-mails and feedbacks saying that people have blown various beverages on their monitors and keyboards.

How can I tell it's the holidays?

Kevin Parrott: Good stuff. I shot eggnog out of my nose.

That's right. Eggnog.Wow. I hope he was drinking eggnog at the time. Otherwise, someone might try to call this a fucking Christmas miracle or something.

By the way, here's a brain-teaser for the holidays: if Jesus drank water and laughed, would wine come out of his nose?

Comments

Well, maybe it wasn't actually eggnog - just plain old nog. Still, the sentiment remains - reading your posts evidently induces projectile fluid ejection from the olfactory cavity. Soda hurts, folks, so lay off while reading.

are cracker crumbs ok? i blew ritz all over my keyboard when i read "if Jesus drank water and laughed, would wine come out of his nose?" thanks tons :-)

WWJD Ha!!

....and after reading this, for the record, coffee hurts too.

So glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this!

Lair..
You've got a talent. Live with it.
And get insurance. We may want to sue you for malicious misuse of humor resulting in damage to keyboards...
;)

Ewww.......eggnog. The man should be shot for that. Ewwww! Just the thought is causing me to become nauseated.....

Are there bonus points for making people barf?

FOR THE RECORD, I WAS NOT REALLY DRINKING EGGNOG. It was a joke.

SORRY I MADE YOU BARF DAGODDESS.

All this reminds me of why I will not eat tomato soup.
I was in 3rd grade. I was having lunch at my best friend Cathy's house with another kid, Hal. We were sitting there, eating our soup and crackers like good little kids. Then Hal laughed unexpectedly and snarked a large stream of tomato soup (mixed with milk for maximum grossness) out of his nose.
It didn't help that I was seated facing the Bleeding Heart of Jesus calendar above the kitchen table. You know the one...it depicts Christ with his eyes rolled skyward and his heart throbbing luridly in his open chest. Blood and viscera everywhere. Lovely.
Needless to say, tomato soup is not one of my favorite foods.