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Testing... 1 2 3

Hello? Is this thing on?

Great.

As Michele said, I'm Laurence Simon of Amish Tech Support. We're trying out my concept of 1-800-JEW-BLOG where a Jewish Blogger lets a Goy blogger take a break for the holidays, just like the Goy Cops and Goy Nurses and Goy Jail Guards head off to be with their families and let Jews and Muslims cover for them. We Jews keep things running smoothly while y'all make drunk asses of yourselves and bitch about the pile the coats on the bed because that means you'll just have to do your cousin in the linen closet.

Sure, she didn't have to go 1-800-JEW-BLOG. She could have gone to the other side of the fence and called upon a practitioner of The Religion of Peace™. Look, just relax for a moment, folks. There is no freaking way that I'd let a Muslim cover for her. I mean, come on... if not for the radical change in tone, but that little sneak would probably rip down all the tit-shots as blasphemy and change the font to some shitscribble Arabic. Nobody's commanding my friend's bazooms be blanketed by a burkah without getting their block knocked off.

So, please, sit back and relax as I take the keyboard for a day or so, let Michele focus on holiday preparations and get her head back on straight (or attend to other body parts needing realignment and adjustment... by the way, where's that JPG you promised me?), and I entertain you with material that is no way an example of the Vast Jewish Conspiracy spreading its tentacles and claws into every site, institution, and organization on the planet.

Speaking of which, if any other folks want to take a break for the holidays, feel free to join up with the 1-800-JEW-BLOG movement and hand over the keys to a Jewish Blogger while you make merry under the mistletoe.

"Reynolds? Kaus? Quick? Bear? Lileks? Bueller? Bueller?"

Don't worry, we'll hand the keys back once the hangover passes and you breathe a sigh of relief when the stick you peed on stays blue. We'll be out of Bethlehe- I mean off your blog when the time comes for you to resume blogging.

Honest. (Heh heh heh)

Comments

Wow, a new tongue twister!

"Nobody's commanding my friend's bazooms be blanketed and block by a burkah without getting their block knocked off."

Laurence, do your talents know no end?

Hold on to your tallywackers, boys & girls. We've reached a new cross-pollinated species of Blog.

"A Small Tech Support"?
"Amish Victory"?
"The Amish Take New York"?

The combinations are endless. This sick love-child of LS & Michele's is going to be the Akira of the Blogoshpere. Watch out.

I've gotta say this is the funniest, most inventive thing I've ever seen on a blog.

Good stuff. I shot eggnog out of my nose.

merry christmas.

Laurence, you're neglecting tradition! No, you can't blog on Christmas Day, what about the Chinese food and the all-day movie marathon? I'm even beginning early this year by going to the movies this afternoon.

Merry Christmas, Michele. Hope it's a good one for you & your family.

Warmest holiday wishes to you! :)

Btw, you are one of the funniest people on the net! You rawk! ;)

snarf, ya know, this post should come with a warning do not drink hot coffee while reading this.

Thanks for the laugh, this is the most hysterically funny thing I've read in quite some time.

Kudos!

Call Jesse Jackson!! The Jew really DOES control the media now.

This is spooky...........I just got gifted a Menorah, on Christmas eve, and I'm a witch! Love to you all........... SondraK

This is frickin' brilliant AND hilarious! :0)

No way you're getting your paws on my blog. Only I post limericks on my site...

Wow, kinda like having both of my favorites together, like peanut butter & chocolate. Darn, now I can't get that old Robby Benson-Donny Most commerical for Peanut Butter cups out of my head.

but that little sneak would probably rip down all the tit-shots as blasphemy and change the font to some shitscribble Arabic

Hey, that joke would still be funny if we called Hebrew "shitscribble", right? 'Cause we're only joking? Or if the gag were about how you could only take a picture of tits through a hole in a bedsheet? Man, that is some classy, funny stuff.

So, Anil, if I were to receive an invitation to stop by your blog for a guest-post on this 2003 Blog A Day Tour idea of mine, would your directory tree tell you that there is a Jew standing behind it and that you should kill him as Allah wills, or does that bloodthirsty vision of Muhammed's for my people's ultimate demise only apply to trees of wood and leaves?

It doesn't matter what shitscribble it's written in... it's the mad thoughts behind it, the peaks and valleys of whatever EEG that monitors the sick and twisted mind that comes up with such fire-and-brimstone wish for a Second Shoah that truly is a blasphemous inkstain in the Pages of History by God, and whatever palsied tremble that caused him to blot as such cannot ever be righteously categoried as a faith of peace.

Pleasant dreams, and sit on your hands for a spell.