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conversation of the day

Phone rings.

Me: Judge's Chambers
Man: Oh, the Judge has a little person over there answering his phones?
Me: Little person? Hardly. I'm his secretary.
Man: And what's your name?
Me: (In little girl voice) Michele
Man: Oh, Michele, I'm just jok....
Me: Did you need to speak to the Judge?
Man: Yes
Me: Who is calling, please?
Man (mumble mumble)
Me: Al Simerz?
Man: (grrr mumble mumble)
Me: Alzheimer's?
Man: Al. Simons.
Me: Oh, Al Simons, why didn't you say so?
Man: Can I speak to your boss please?

I walk into the Judge's chambers

Me: Some asshole is on the phone
Judge: Oh, Al Simons??

I'm not saying all attorneys are assholes (I know too many nice ones), but the ones I have to deal with on a daily basis certainly are. Maybe they are just pissed at having to deal with small claims cases and misdemeanors instead of the big cases so they get their jollies pissing off secretaries and clerks.


Don't you just LOVE working in the court system??????!!!!! Al zheimers - thats funny!! :)

I once ran a business where we sold to (among others) lawyers and transportation people (primarily trucking lines).

It was a matter of general comment how much nicer the trucking people were than were the lawyers.

Might have been nice if when he said "could I speak to your boss" you could have said "You are". What an asshole. You are far more gracious than I, which is why I'm not in a customer service field dealing with people! Definitely a bonus, being a pet care provider.......I don't have to deal with people too often:) Sounds like "your boss" is pretty cool.

Heh heh... I like your judge. :)

Getting paid to be an asshole occasionally doesn't give the right to inflict yourself on the rest of the world. Sadly, too many of us fail to get that point.

Merry Christmas, Michele.

I usually make my comments after hanging up the phone. Many has been the time I've had a moron on the phone answering his stupid questions. As I hang up the phone I blurt out, "Dumbass" or whatnot and get raucous howls from my cubicle neighbors.

At least it makes me feel better.

Back in my old stockbroking days, I always told others never to piss off the secretary/admin asst./what have you. You'll never get access to the big cheese if you do, because he/she will always be on the other line, in a meeting, getting a tetanus shot, having a root canal, or something else that will keep their money out of your account.

I worked in the PR department of a Fortune 100 company.

I can say without hesitation that television news reporters were the biggest fuckers to work with, in specific, the ABC Washington-based asshole who thought he could treat me like shit because he was a star and I was just a peon. My boss gave him hell for it, thankfully.

The newspaper reporters, especially from the WSJ, were the best and sweetest to work with. The only ones nicer than the WSJ were the local paper's reporters.

Michele -

Thanks for the morning chuckle and smile. That's a memorable phone exchange.


John V


They treat 33 year old, young-looking magistrates the same way. As if they know the law better than I do merely because they were born a decade earlier. Sorry, the Judge is not available. If you want something, you will have to deal with me!

Man: Oh, the Judge has a little person
over there answering his phones?
Me: Little person? Hardly. I'm his

Typical leftist feminazi whining. It's no wonder your kid's doing so poorly in school. If you'd stay at home and be a mother instead of being a lesbian and pretending to find "personal satisfaction" in a worthless job, your children wouldn't have any problems.

(The above opinion is not Rob Carr's. I'm just really sarcastic and bitter this morning. The coffee hasn't hit yet.)

Even for sarcasm, that wasn't polite. I should not have posted that last comment.

I apologize.

Chele, you've got to do what I do when I answer the phone at work...
Good morning, part XXX, New York State Supreme Court, XXXXXX County, criminal term, Officer XXXXX speaking may I help you? After all that they usually forget what they where going to say and either stutter for a minute or they hang up! I love it!