You better watch out!
My sister Lisa told me this story today, involving her fiance's mother Mary and his sister Eileen.
Mary and Eileen go to the mall to have Eileen's year old son Jack sit on Santa's lap for a picture. They wait on line for what seems like hours and finally, it is their turn. Mary takes baby Jack up to Santa's throne while Eileen runs into a store.
After Jack grins at Santa and the picture is snapped, Santa leans over to Mary and says, pointing to the little boy, "This one is going to have the ancient curse."
Mary looks at Santa warily. "What do you mean?" she asks him.
Santa leans down close to Mary and whispers in her ear, "He's going to kiss a lot of pussy!"
Mary grabbed Jack off of Santa's lap and turned towards the female "Santa's Helper" standing next to her.
"That man is a pervert!" she shouted at the woman.
"Yea, I know." Was all the woman could muster.
Mary found Eileen and practically ran out of the mall.
I probably would have kicked old Santa in the balls and reported him to mall security. Mary is much more civil than I. And I imagine she is a bit traumatized. I mean, even if you are over 50, it still has to be upsetting to hear Santa utter the word "pussy," especially while your grandson is on his lap.
Seriously, I would have knocked him on his ass. Wouldn't you?
Comments
I would probably have made a necklace out of his teeth and would be linking to their auction on eBay right about now. That's just crazy.
Posted by: Jessica | December 15, 2002 10:04 PM
Yep. I'd have his balls in a jar on my shelf.
Posted by: that tart | December 15, 2002 10:10 PM
I would've killed the sonofabitch. How dare he!
Posted by: Vinny | December 15, 2002 10:10 PM
OH MY GOD. I wonder if he has a blog somewhere where he writes "Guess what I said to this woman today..."
Posted by: Tracy | December 15, 2002 10:15 PM
On an unrelated note, and related to earlier comments about taking responsibility for actions, I'm writing here to officially acknowledge that, as a Niners fan...yes, I saw the game...yes, I'm aware of the final score...and yes, I'm comfortable enough in my support of the team to acknowledge that recent comments about our superbowl credentials will no doubt be loudly and gleefully questioned after the lucky victory of the Pack.
So...just a pre-emptive strike to say...GO NINERS. AND DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.
Ok, I'm done. Now shoot...
Posted by: Crimson Cow | December 15, 2002 10:26 PM
WTF? Methinks Santa likes his little elves a bit too much. Kick his ass and get him fired.
Posted by: Lesley | December 15, 2002 10:32 PM
I would of made one hell of a scene...everyone in earshot woulda heard what the pervert said to me and then I would have found a cop.
In the least he should be reported to the mall or store...who knows what the twisted fuck might do to some kid.
Posted by: feste | December 15, 2002 10:45 PM
Not only can we not say merry christ mass to people because its insensitive to those who dont celebrate xmas; now they the people on our side are becoming ojectionable......
Posted by: scot | December 15, 2002 11:05 PM
Did I tell you what happened to me at the mall today where I was working my Santa gig? It's the funniest story. This lady and a kid come up and...
Posted by: dick | December 15, 2002 11:12 PM
oh his ass would have been fired on the spot. and arrested. I don't play that shit. do they screen Santas' backgrounds? that fucker's probably wanted for molestation somewhere.
ooh, that makes me mad.
Posted by: starmama | December 15, 2002 11:15 PM
What a scumbag... I picture him getting really close to her face, slurring, with alcohol (Mad Dog 20/20 or Strawberry Hill) on his breath, barely able to keep his balance....
On another note, THIS STUPID BLOG IS MAKING ME MISS SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST!!! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS IN THE MORNING!! THEY'LL FIND SOMETHING TO GET YOU ON!! YOU'LL PAY FOR MY ACTIONS!
Heehee...
(weird... while I was typing this up I got an email for personal alcohol detectors...)
Posted by: Lori | December 16, 2002 12:06 AM
Santa woulda had two new balls to put on the tree.....
Posted by: Suze | December 16, 2002 12:16 AM
Nah, you guys are misunderstanding all this. It's plain that the guy they hired to be Santa is a devout member of the Latvian Orthodox faith, and was referring to their ancient concept of "Kavorka," or "the lure of the animal." I remember seeing something on TV (http://http://rain.prohosting.com/~bill307/SeinfeldDictionary.htm)a long time ago about this.
But seriously, whatta freak.
Posted by: Mike | December 16, 2002 07:39 AM
And wait just one damned minute. "He's going to kiss a lot of pussy!" And this is supposed to be a CURSE? How misogynistic. And just flat wrong to boot.
Posted by: Mike | December 16, 2002 07:42 AM
Rifuckingdiculous. At the very least, report him to the officials and get that crazy man fired. That was uncalled for and just a million and one shades of wrong.
If that was my kid up on his lap, wanna-be Santa wouldn't be recognizable as human right about now.
That's sick.
Posted by: ravenwolf | December 16, 2002 07:58 AM
I only found out about the incident yesterday and I went nuts. I told my fiance's sister that I didn't care how many days had gone by, and that she had to get on the phone immediately to the mall and tell on him! It's a good thing I wasn't there, because I would have wrapped my hands around Santa's throat and choked the merry life out of him, right there in front of all the kiddies. As for the phone call, we shall see what happens...
Posted by: Lisa | December 16, 2002 09:19 AM
Lisa - I really hope your sister in-law to be takes some action. That is sickening!!!
Posted by: Bon | December 16, 2002 10:51 AM
That Santa needs to be reported, fired and arrested. And what’s with the ‘Santa’s Helper?’ She just stands around and listens to this?
Posted by: mary | December 16, 2002 12:11 PM
I'm a lawyer, so you know how I'd respond. Here in KY, we have a tort called outrage....
Posted by: Dodd | December 16, 2002 12:13 PM
While that Santa should be fired, what on earth should he be arrested for?
Being a crude asshole isn't illegal (or at very least isn't criminal), last I checked.
Posted by: Sigivald | December 16, 2002 01:49 PM
It definitely needs followup by raising holy hell to store management, threatening to go to local news media, etc. until they get rid of this asshole, and Santa's little enabling helper too, for not having the common sense to report him herself.
Posted by: dewey | December 16, 2002 03:32 PM
I’m not a lawyer, but following Dodd's advice, I looked up 'outrage'
According to the wisdom of google, to prove that an outrage has been committed, you have to prove that:
"(1) the actor intended to inflict emotional distress or knew or should have known that emotional distress was the likely result of his conduct; (2) the conduct was extreme and outrageous, was beyond all possible bounds of decency, and was utterly intolerable in a civilized community; (3) the actions of the defendant were the cause of the plaintiff's distress; and (4) the emotional distress sustained by the plaintiff was so severe that no reasonable person could be expected to endure it."
http://courts.state.ar.us/opinions/2000a/20000119/ca99-326.html
I don’t know if it would fit, but as a mom, I would be happy with any action that would guarantee that this person would never be hired as a Santa again. He shouldn't work with kids, and deserves some mark on his permanent record.
Posted by: mary | December 16, 2002 03:40 PM