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the grinch is canadian

I think I found the winner of the Asshole of the Year award. I wasn't exactly looking for one, but when I read this article, I made up the award just for her.

VANCOUVER - After years of sending friends anti-Christmas cards, one of which featured a homeless Santa and another battered child angels, Valerie and Trevor Williams decided to "go big" this year.

The result can be seen on a billboard looming over the Pat Bay Highway near Victoria, where commuters, rushing no doubt to buy gifts, are faced with this stark message: "Gluttony. Envy. Insincerity. Greed. Enjoy Your Christmas."

Ho! Ho! Ho! to you, too! If anyone in Vancouver has a paint gun, please head over there and start shooting at the sign for me.

While others are humming carols, trimming trees and picking out gifts for the people they love, Mr. and Mrs. Williams have taken all their Christmas gift money this year -- $1,200 -- and spent it on the attack ad.

"I think the billboard is stark, it's angry, it's red. Black letters on red, the Christmas colours," she said when asked to describe the sign.

I thought Christmas colors were black and green. Damn, now I have to go change my decorations.

The couple sent out this mass email to friends instead of Christmas cards:

In response to the growing onslaught of manufactured consumeristic Christmas cheer, we have decided to actively reject the capitalist ideology of Christmas. We refuse to spend one cent on buying into the consumer machine this year -- no tinsel, no tree, no shiny balls, no Christmas cards, no presents, no wrapping paper, no turkey, no cranberry sauce, no candy canes, and no icicle lights. Christmas will not be coming to this house.... Join us in our Christmas rebellion!

If I got that email I would certainly reply to them, but I would attach the nastiest computer virus I can find. Preferably one that makes the computer start spewing out Christmas carols every time they turn it on.

Their holiday message on the answering machine goes like this:

Callers hear a recording of White Christmas that is interrupted as if the Williams had just come home.

Valerie: "My God, who put that music on?"

Trevor: "It's awful, get it off."

Valerie: "Oh.... Jesus. Oh. Oh. Doesn't that just drive you insane?"

First of all, it's just stupid. There's no irony, no humor. It just falls flat. I think they should have gone with "We're not home you capitalist pig! Call back when you're done spending all your money on facist toys!"

Mrs. Williams, who grew up in a middle-class family in Victoria, said she has good memories of the Christmases she had as a child. But the growing commercialism of the season and its Christian exclusivity had long troubled her.

Hello? Christian exclusivity? It's a Christian holiday you dumb bitch!

"Who is Santa?" she asks heatedly. "He is the mall's puppet.... Children are taught to worship this white, heterosexual man who overeats. I mean, it's wrong."

It would be better if her were an Asian gay man who has an eating disorder?

The Williams have no children of their own. When asked if she explaining her views to other children, she said:

"And I wouldn't want to say anything to ruin Christmas for a child.... "

Oh, no. You'll just erect a huge, ugly billboard that stares them in the face as they drive past it every day, forcing their parents to explain what the sign is about.

"If everyone in B.C. gave their Christmas money to charity this year, imagine the good we could do," she said.

So instead of sending their $1500 to charity and quietly supporting their own beliefs, they instead spend the money on a huge ass billboard and get as in-your-face about the whole deal as they possibly can. Think of how many books or cans of baby formula or warm winter coats they could have bought for needy children with that money.

She's cheered to learn that Visa is predicting that, in B.C. alone, people will spend 23% less this Christmas than they did last year.

"That's my Christmas present," she says with delight.

Asswipe, people aren't spending less because they are joining your idiotic cult of unhappiness, they are spending less because they have less. Thanks for taking such joy in other people's financial disasters.

I have the sudden urge to drive up to Vancouver and beat this woman over the head with ten foot, metal candy cane while yelling Joy to the World, you humorless bastard!

This story was pilfered from Andrea, who gave Ms. Williams the Sheriff of Nottingham award.

Mike also tackles the grinches with his usual cold fury.


Spoilsport fucktards. They rank right up there with the pro-lifers holding photos of bloodied babies.

I don't know....it's her money to spend as she wants...she could have put a down payment on a Monster SUV.....
I thought it was pretty funny, and "Gluttony. Envy. Insincerity. Greed." is pretty accurate. But then, I hate christmas.

This woman (and her no doubt totally pussywhipped hubby) are such priggish, pretentious hosers.
I quit observing the Xmas consumer clusterfuck almost 20 years ago. I should sue her sorry Canuck ass for stealing my idea.
And is that $1200 in Canadian play money or REAL American dollars? If it's in Canuck money, it's really only about $600.

"It's a Christian holiday you dumb bitch!"

Well, to be fair, it was certainly co-opted to be one, nicked from the pagan Saturnalia.

The rest? Consumerism, bay-bee. Rock on.

Oh, I love it when people point out that the holiday was "co-opted"!

I prefer "stolen from slaughtered pagans", but yours is shorter.

It's Saturnalia. As in Saturn. As in Roman. As in the guys who converted to Christianity. It's not stolen from the brand of paganism currently practiced by psuedo-profound hippy/goth jerkoffs, Forest Spirit.

Anyway, chill the hell out. It's not Christmases fault that your own life is so bankrupt you let some advertising ruin the holiday for you.

The stupid bitch and her husband should have taken that money and donated it to poor people...as in those who might not have enough to EAT!

That would have sent a better message than putting up that stupid billboard. I don't like the over-commercialization of Christmas, too...but I still believe it is a time for giving. And I still love the holidaze!

There is no need for people to be so filled with hate. They SO deserve the Asshole of the Year Award

Yikes, that pair needs to get a life. They have WAY too much time (and money) on their hands. I can think of a lot of much better ways to have spent that money. Leave Christmas alone, it's one of the very few times a year when people tend to be nice to each other and appreciate the good parts of life.

Christmas represents idealism, I thought we established that it's not realistic.
Peace on earth will never happen, so what's the point? Jesus wasn't born in december--no point there. Santa Claus was inserted into the holiday tradition through an ad campaign for Coca cola, appropriate for American consumerism. Giving, loving, goodwill, then right back to stealing, hating and killing.
The way I see it, there is nothing really redeeming about christmas that I couldn't do any other day of the year.

I think everyone on their email list should go out and buy them expensive gifts that they really want or need. Then wrap them in the most beautiful wrapping paper they can find, all get together and deliver all of them at the same time.
Oooohhh, SHINY!

Sylvain: Whatever terminology suits you. After all, isn't each holiday supposed to mean something different to each person? :)

Toxic: I'm not sure who you're telling to "chill" if not the subjects of the article about which michele writes. It certainly isn't anyone in the comments except perhaps you. Even Saturnalia was derived from an older tradition (Mitra -> Mithra). I don't give a crap about any of it except from an historical viewpoint because it certainly ain't the religious/spiritual aspect of the holidays that drives my participation. Although I have to admit that I think it hilarious the earliest adoption as a civic holiday (Roman Emp. Justinian, for those interested) was pretty much a handy way of retaining a year end celebration.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I must participate in the spirit most people associate with the holiday and check on the shipping of a gift I ordered for someone.

I think Toxic was speaking to the notoriously uptight Sylvain since he called him/her "Forest Spirit."

And yay capitalism! :)

This couple’s story would make a great Christmas cartoon special – about two Vancouver scrooges who are ruining everyone’s Christmas.

Santa decides that they should be visited late one night by some favorite Christmas characters – Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph and maybe those wookies from the Star Wars Holiday Special. They try to teach them about the joys of Christmas past, present and future. But in the end, the couple still hates Christmas, and they get run over by a reindeer.

yes, an implication without substance, since no one implied that "It was stolen from the brand of paganism currently practiced by psuedo-profound hippy/goth jerkoffs"
Paganism is a religion and as such, I'm against it. It doesn't change the fact that christmas was effectively stolen from an earlier, far more peaceful religion.
In soing some research last night, I found that some hardore christians won't celebrate christmas because of it's dubious origin.
I resist tradition, but that's just me, and I shouldn't begrudge others for their sense of tradition. Sorry about that. But the whole "peace on earth" thing leaves a bad taste in this "post 9/11 world".

Look, Christmas is just a birth day of some Palestinian dude most of us have never seen or talked to. Why people get all worked up about so-called 'spirit' is beyond me.

"Santa Claus was inserted into the holiday tradition through an ad campaign for Coca cola, appropriate for American consumerism."

That is wrong. I'm sure you were being sarcastic. Just in case you weren't - here's Santa's history.

In the seventeenth century, Santa in the form of St. Nicholas, first came to America with Dutch immigrants. While he was a kind man who left treats for children he didn't much resemble the fat man in the red suit we know today. In early folklore, Santa also rode a white horse though the sky and Santa was thought to be a symbol of the Pagan Holly King.

The American image of Santa Claus comes from a combination of images from the poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas (also known as The Night Before Christmas) written in 1822 by Dr. Clement C. Moore and from cartoonist Thomas Nast.

But the whole "peace on earth" thing leaves a bad taste in this "post 9/11 world".

Ah yes, the "pre 9/11 era", when Jews and Palestinians held hands and skipped down the street, where men didn't kill each other and women weren't raped and religions of all kinds didn't persecute others for their religious beliefs (or non-beliefs). Where there were no wars, no bombings, no revolutions or counter-revolutions. Where all men and governments were just and no blood was ever shed for peace, because, well, there already was peace!! Ah yes, I remember it well.

there is hope. a small glimmer in the darkness.. there is the weblog.. Canadians are smug (featured on my site today)

Paganism is not a religion. It originally meant anyone who was not a Christian. African animalists, Nordic Odin worshippers, Hindus, Buddhists... anyone of that sort. Paganism as a religion is a new thing... mostly meant to piss christians off, I guess. My guess that Sylain, whose website's address includes VAMPAGAN, considers herself a pagan, and therefore uses the word pagan to mean followers of her religion. Not just any non-christians. And so I was pointing out that idea was wrong.

That was my point.

These killjoys have something in common with the Puritans, who also hated Christmas as a pagan holiday with materialistic overtones and banned it during the Commonwealth in England, not to mention in Massachusetts.

"Paganism is not a religion."
No, paganism is a religion. Ask my girlfriend's parents. the LABEL pagan was what you meant, but paganism, in all it's sub-groups, is a religion.
"My guess that Sylain, whose website's address includes VAMPAGAN, considers herself a pagan, and therefore uses the word pagan to mean followers of her religion."
An obvious guess, but incorrect. It was a nick given to me in high school.Long story, but I've never been a pagan. If you read above, or any of my comments. you'd know I abhore ALL religions, christian and pagan alike.
Also, you'd be surpised to find out that I am not female.
I get this all the time-it's SylVAIN, not SylVIA.
"Paganism is a religion and as such, I'm against it"
You point out to me that paganism is not a religion, so I assume you read what I said, yet you still assume I am a pagan.
I don't get it.

(Deep baritone voice:) You're an ASSHOLE Mr. & Mrs. Grinch...
You've got piss and ice water in your veins...