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now collecting idiotic quotes

I think I'm going to institute a daily "asshole of the day" award, or at least a "stupid quote of the day" award. Though with the way people are flapping their gums about everything and anything these days, it may have to be "stupid quote of the hour."

If I gave such an award yesterday it would go to Ted Turner. Ted, who was being honored by the U.N., had this to say about his piles of cash:

I went from nothing to a pile of money as high as the World Trade Center," he said Wednesday at United Nations headquarters in New York. "And then just like the World Trade Center -- poof! -- it was gone overnight.

What a charming man, eh? It seem sort of fitting that he was honored by the U.N.

Oh, and why does Ted love the U.N. so much that he donated a billion dollars to them? Their humanitarian efforts? How they strive for world peace? Well, no - because both of those are fallacies. Little Teddy likes the pretty decor outside of the building.

"Since I was a little boy, I've always been very partial to the U.N. I love the flags," he said.

If you have an idiot of the day or a dumb quote of the day to contribute, please leave it here in the comments. I'm betting that by the end of today, we can have at least ten of each.


It is my understanding that Mr. Turners Billion dollars have not reached the UN as of yet. I guess now that he's one paycheck away from homelessness it may never. Poor guy, and his intentions were so honorable. GAG.

I nominate the Shrub, for not demanding Lott's resignation. Wait, I could nominate the Shrub every day, for something new.

You can bet there are strings attached to Ted's donation to the U.N.

I'd like to nominate the entire text of the incredibly moronic "Resolution on War in Iraq" that the idiot delegates in my union (California Faculty Association) adopted at their Fall Assembly.
Is it okay if I submit it in its entirety here? It's not very long, but it sure is stupid.

Okay, what the hey...here it is (with my comments in []--I couldn't resist).

Resolution on War in Iraq

October 19, 2002
CFA (California Faculty Association) 57th Assembly

WHEREAS, Congress has authorized President George W. Bush to use all necessary force to resolve our current dispute with Iraq, and;
[It's not a "dispute" you idiots; it's many, many violations of UN resolutions.]

WHEREAS, the use of force in international affairs potentially puts CSU [California State University] students at risk to the health, safety, and welfare, and;
[So do fraternities and Krispy Kreme donut outlets on campus. I don't see you getting exercised about that.]

WHEREAS, our history shows that the loyalty-security atmosphere that inevitably accompanies armed conflict has a negative effect on the exercise of First Amendment rights and Academic Freedom on University campuses; therefore, be it
[what the Sam Hill is the "loyalty-security atmosphere"? Is that somewhere out beyond the stratosphere? And what's with the Tragic Proliferation of Random Capitalization? Did you all sleep through your freshman composition class? Oh, no wait…some of you TEACH freshman comp. That explains everything.]

RESOLVED that the General Assembly of the CFA requests that our government resolve all conflicts and standing issues with the government of Iraq without resorting to war; and be it further
[Request away, children. And while you're at it, you might also try holding your breath until you turn blue.]

RESOLVED that CFA promote this resolution from within its affiliates and other organizations where it is in position to play a policy-making role; and be it further
[Bwahahahaha…the day the CFA plays a policy-making role in anything is the day I grow a second pair of…ears.]

RESOLVED that CFA publicize this resolution in its public and internal communications.
[Yeah right. Considering that the CFA hasn't updated its web site since September, I won't hold my breath.]