the christmas party that wasn't, but should have been
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bonnie's Christmas party. It was Robyn who spiked the punch with too much tequila. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vomit.
I thought it was funny when I put Bonnie's bra on my head and danced the Macarena on the couch while singing Teenage Enema Nurse'. I didn't mean to break Bonnie's vibrator and don't know why Bonnie would sue me for statutory rape.
I don't remember calling Todd's wife a sexy sheep---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and purple lipstick!
And when I threw up on Stacy's husband's crotch, it was only because I ate too much of that meatloaf.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my SUV through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a moldy cow and have me arrested for public lewdness!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all horny and drunken. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sadly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and freakishly yours,
michele (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!
The sad thing is, this could probably happen in real life. Save for the Robyn wearing hideous make up.