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the christmas party that wasn't, but should have been

Thanks to dania, I was able to make my own letter to Santa, madlib style:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bonnie's Christmas party. It was Robyn who spiked the punch with too much tequila. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vomit.

I thought it was funny when I put Bonnie's bra on my head and danced the Macarena on the couch while singing Teenage Enema Nurse'. I didn't mean to break Bonnie's vibrator and don't know why Bonnie would sue me for statutory rape.

I don't remember calling Todd's wife a sexy sheep---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Stacy's husband's crotch, it was only because I ate too much of that meatloaf.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my SUV through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a moldy cow and have me arrested for public lewdness!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all horny and drunken. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sadly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and freakishly yours,
michele (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 12 bucks!

The sad thing is, this could probably happen in real life. Save for the Robyn wearing hideous make up.

Comments

I'm sure he'll forgive you if you puke on his crotch...but only if he's not wearing pants at the time. :P

aside from all the emesis......I love it!

Lmao..yours was good heh

Don't feel bad about the whole adverb thing, I actually had to look up adjective too..i'm so lame lol