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Alternative Christmas CDs, 2002 Edition

It's time for Christmas music. No, not that kind of music. You won't find Little Drummer Boy or Frost the Snowman on my Christmas cds.

This will be Alternative Christmas 2. I've started with some repeats from last year, and will add suggestions from you.

What I'm looking for is either Christmas classics redone in a completely new style or songs that deal with the less jolly side of Christmas (for instance, that Weird Al song about Santa going crazy at the mall, any South Park Christmas song, etc.) or just plain weird holiday songs. Please, no Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

I've started the list with these tunes:

Spinal Tap - Christmas With the Devil
Vandals - Christmastime For My Penis
Pennywise - Christmas in Hell
Captain Sensible - One Christmas Catalogue
Fear - Fuck Christmas
King Diamond- No Presents For Christmas
Christmas in Hollis - Run-D.M.C.
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto
Zebrahead - I Hate Christmas
Wesley Willis - Merry Christmas

I think you see where I'm going here. These will not be cds to play when grandma and grandpa come over. Or your parents, for that matter.

I made two cds last year. If I can get enough suggestions for songs that don't repeat the 2001 cds, I'll make it three and give some copies away in a bah-humbug-ish sort of Christmas spirit.

Have at it, and don't be afraid to give me the most bizzare selections you can find. That's why it's called Alternative.

(Yes, I will be illegally downloading these songs. But if you have an mp3 to pass along to ease my corporate guilt, please send it my way)

*updated* Led has a great Christmas song list going on - he also has a radio station to play the songs on. A lot of those tunes were on my list last year, like Bad Religion, The Frogs, and Type O Negative. I think I'll add the Weezer song to this year's.

John Fogde also has a list (and a great blog) and I'll scoop the Badly Drawn Boy song from him.


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What about the Ramones Xmas song? :)

"Merry xmas I dont want to fight tonight."

Oh, that's a standard. I've already overplayed it this year!

The Pogues "Fairytale of New York"

There is a song by Bill Mumy (of "Lost in Space" and "Babylon 5" fame), sung by a lady named Sarah Taylor. Evidently they also go by the name of Barnes & Nibble. The song is called "I've Got Some Presents for Santa."

I've got some presents for Santa
And he's got a big one for me
Outside, it snows
I take off all my clothes
And wait for Santa underneath my tree

I definitely think it needs to be on the list.

If I can find a copy of it, that's a keeper.

I wrote an article about unusual Christmas song recently, which you might find inspirational. They aren't as outlandish as the ones on your list, but if you're looking for a couple of depressing indie tracks to mix in between the King Diamond and Snoop tracks maybe some of the ones I've mentioned will fit the bill.

led has a big long list on his site, posted Dec 5th. It's a song list for his online radio station... some very good ones there...

The South Park Christmas CD with Mr Hanky.

'Merry Fucking Christmas' and Cartman singing 'Silent Night' are classics!

Gott a have at least one selection from Mojo Nixon's great Christmas CD, "Horny Holidays", a staple of the Yule around the Bacardi household. Plus, my traditional Christmas music-loving wife absolutely hates that CD, which makes me play it even more. May I suggest his cover of the Grinch song?

We LOVE us some Mojo Nixon!

definitely pogues "fairytale of new york!" (you scumbag, you maggot / you cheap lousy faggot / happy christmas your arse / i pray god it's our last)

and "oi to the world" (on the roof with the nunchucks, trevor broke a lot of bones
/ but hadji had a sword like the guy in indiana jones), either version

i love dido's "christmas day." (and the last words i heard him say / were the last words i ever heard him say / i shall return for you my love on christmas day )

squirrel nut zippers' indian giver or darling evergreen. cartman's o holy night (*zap*). and that waitresses humbug song where they both forgot cranberry sauce. sappy, but i love it. snoop, salt n pepa etc's santa baby. chris cornell's ave maria.

as for "out there," my parents have this bizarre version of the twelve days of xmas with a guy making matching noises that cracks me up, if you want it. and there's the xmas version of iron man. and i have some jimi hendrix, also, if you want it.

shit. and saw doctors' red cortina.

Well this is decidedly unbelligerent and not too angry nor alternative for that matter, but for sheer weirdness, Monty Python's "Christmas in Heaven" has to score somewhere in there...

Maybe something to lighten the mood?

"It's Christmas,
It's Christmas in heaven.
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day,
It's Christmas day!"

Weezer - Christmas Celebration

Don't forget Bob Rivers. He's got some great Christmas parodies like "Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear" ("Winter Wonderland") :
In the store there's a teddy
With little straps like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' round in women's underwear

There's also "Toy Sack" ("Love Shack") and "Holidaze ('scuse me I've got gifts to buy)" ("Purple Haze") .

Ok, so I'm a Christmas parody junkie...

Oy To The World by the Klezmonauts

Anything from the Doctor Demento Christmas CD sounds good to me.. :-)

um. i can only think of one right now, though i know there's others. i think it's monty python - "ho ho fucking ho" - and the elves and mrs. claus and the reindeer are all pissed off at santa for being a lazy bastard, they do all the work while he cracks the whip, etc etc. :)

Nerf Herder released a little xmas thing last year (I think it was last year anyway) with three classy xmas songs on it: "Santa Has a Mullet," "I Know What You're Getting For Xmas," and my personal favorite, "I've Got a Boner for Xmas," because there's nothing more Xmasy than a song about stickin' it in a stocking. r0wr

Well, there's:
Death May Be Your Santa Claus by Mott the Hoople (off the Brain Caper Kids album);
Let's Put the X Back in Xmas by Country Dick Montana and (I can't remember who);
Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass by the Arrogant Worms (off the Christmas Turkey CD which has a whole lot of stuff);
Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin' by Tinsley Ellis...
That's off the top of my head. I've been thinking about my own Xmas album.

Your list from last year was the starting point for my list this year. As I listened to the songs ("Merry Fucking Christmas" in particular), I realized my neighbors across the hall are Arabic. I turned the sound down, being the polite neighbor that I am.

They have their door decked out in red and green garland today. Go figure.

I demand "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo." Either that or "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

The NBC soundtrack gets its own cd. I'm listening to it now :)

"Christmas at Ground Zero" by Weird Al Yankovic...awesomely funny song, although given our current political situation, it might hit a little too close to home...(yikes)

I got more...

Fishbone did a great song called "It's A Wonderful Life" which had a lot of footage of the movie in its video...I don't think it has too many explicit Christmas references, though, so it may not qualify...

Also, Cyndi Lauper did a really nice Christmas album a few years ago called "Merry Christmas...Have a Nice Life". Best cut on it was a tune called "Feels Like Christmas" which is just downright joyous. Cyndi's really quite the artiste these days, pity nobody cares...

Oh, yeah! I love that "Horny Holidays" CD. And I gotta agree, Mojo's cover of "Mister Grinch" kicks ass!

Although my favorite songs by Mojo are "Don't Want No Foo-Foo Haircut On My Head" and "She's Vibrator Dependent."

I love listening to Slick Nick or Wonderful Life, by the late, underappreciated Fishbone.

Nothing says christmas like an alcoholic
santa breaking into your house and robbing you.

I was going to bring up the South Park collection... "Merry Fucking Christmas" or "Swiss Colony Beef Log" or Cartman's rendition of "O Holy Night" [zzzzzzap!] stand out in my head. And major props to Asparagirl for "Christmas at Ground Zero."

- "Ex-Miss" by New Found Glory (definitely a good song for the single people at the holidays)
- "Santa Claus & His Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong
- "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"
- "12 Pains of Christmas" by Dr. Demento
- "Christmas With the Devil" by Spinal Tap
- "Christmas Song" by Weezer (also a good song for the bitter & lonely at the holidays)
- "Oi to the World" (I think someone already mentioned it, but I have a version by No Doubt)
- "My December" by Linkin Park (one of their more tolerable songs, though not the remix)

Oops, almost forgot another Weird Al Yankovic twisted Christmas song: "The Night Santa Went Crazy". Good, but not quite as good as the other one of his I mentioned, "Christmas at Ground Zero", which is fantastic (if fatalistic).

"I Won't Be Home for Christmas" by blink 182.

(even though blink 182 [insert generic comment about selling out], and they [insert overused, inaccurate comparison to boy-bands], not to mention the fact that they [blah blah blah I'm insecure about my decision to enjoy Mass-Marketed Faux Metal Band Number 62, so I feel the need to let everyone else in the world know that blink are "poseurs."])


oh, and "It’s Gonna Be A Punk Rock Christmas” by the Ravers:

"Rick Wakeman will take up the electric guitar /
And Johnny Ramone will get a sled for a car /
I want a Damned LP with Eddie and the Hot Rods on the back /
I want a speaker so I can kick it in /
I want a lace guitar and a subscription to Punk Magazine"

Shoot, that should've been Cartman singing "Oh Holy Night".


Holidayland by They Might Be Giants.

I posted some of the lyrics last week.

A Ryko compilation CD called Xmas Marks the Spot has some truly great music. My favorite: A Party for Santa Claus by Lord Nelson. A calypso number that urges Santa to visit more than once a year, "Trade in the old sleigh and the reindeer for a big car with a chauffer. Get a helicopter, because everybody love dear old Santa Claus". and "Everybody drinking their whiskey and rum but Santa aint gettin none. Take him out to a night club or a movie get some fine chicks and throw a party". Fun. Also on the CD is a blues guitar version by Jospeh Spence of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Scariest version of that song you'll ever hear.

"Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator" by Bob Rivers

ACDC's "Mistress for Christmas" was always a good one

I'm always looking for new off-center Christmas music myself... I've done a new collection for eight years going with a few repeats, and it does get tough!

Look for these CDs:
Christmas Party With Eddie G. (Columbia)
Mark Mothersbaugh-Joyeux Mutato (Rhino)
Equivel-Merry Xmas from the Space-Age Bachelor Pad (Bar/None)
Punk Rock X-Mas (Rhino)
Santa's Got A GTO (Dionysus)
Woody Phillips-A Toolbox Christmas (Gourd Music)

And if you know anyone in the Los Angeles area (or feel like scouring eBay), look for any of the Kevin & Bean Christmas CDs issued by radio station KROQ. They have comedy segments and tunes from major rock/alternative artists.

"Country Christmas" by the Beastie Boys (Country Mike) and Sense Field "Happy Christmas" ....actually just go here I made a buch of Xmas mixes last year and one this year http://www.artofthemix.org/FindAMix/GetContents.asp?From=/FindAMix/archivesearcha.asp&strMixID=37449

theres this great song i downloaded...i think its called punk rock christmas, but im not sure who wrote it. the label says its the sex pistols but i know thats not right

I would like to suggest "Riu Chiu", an acapella tune that you would never in a million years guess was done by The Monkeys if you didn't know that ahead of time.

That AC/DC song. Favourite Things I think. The one where he shouts jingle hells bells at the end.