« Oh, Canada | Main | in memory of »

in other words

From CNN:

After Iraq hands over its declaration on weapons of mass destruction programs Saturday, U.N. weapons inspectors will analyze and edit out parts of it before distributing it to members of the U.N. Security Council.

Hans Blix, chief U.N. weapons inspector, said Friday the 15-member council agreed to the procedure after discussing "the risks of releasing parts of this declaration that might help to achieve proliferation of nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons."

So, if they don't have any nuclear, biological or chemical weapons then what exactly are those passages of the declaration about?

The United States, Russia, and other countries are concerned about releasing information that would provide "a training manual for how to build weapons of mass destruction," a Western diplomatic source told CNN.

Weapons of mass destruction? Those things they claim to have none of? That peaceful, humanity loving Saddam would have no knowledge of any such things. Inconceivable!

So the passages will read something like this:

We used (deleted) and (deleted) plus a little (deleted) to make (deleted).

The U.N. will assure the President that it originally said "We used eggs and flour and a little sugar to make a cake. You know, for the Canadian ladies that were coming!"

I mean, the only time I have a recipe for chocolate souffle and all the necessary ingredients laying around is if I'm actually going to make chocolate souffle.

Maybe he had the plutonium because he was planning on buying a DeLorean to back to the good old days of the 16th century.

And maybe that mustard gas was just a big mistake on the palace chef's part, who thought he was ordering the fixings for a big barbecue.

The declaration will contain more than 10,000 pages -- 4,000 pages of information along with 7,000 to 8,000 pages of supporting documents, Iraqi officials said.

That's an awful lot of words to just say "Fuck you, United States!"

Oh, on a side note, Juan Gato is back blogging, which means I have to start drinking to keep up with him again.