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where have i heard this song before?

Terrorism: The gift that keeps on giving.

"The gift for the holiday is on its way," is what al-Qaeda is announcing now, and I hope they shipped Federal Express because if they used UPS at this late date it's probably not going to get here in time. And I really hope it's not one of those cheese wheels. That is such a cheap gift.

So why am I being facetious instead of my usual panic-stricken self at the proclomation of new terror attacks forthcoming? Easy. I don't believe them this time.

Frankly, I think all al-Qaeda has left is words and threats at this point. They are scattered and without distinct leadership and I don't think they have what it takes to pull something off on American soil again. I'm thinking Kenya was their last big moment.

In the al Qaeda statement, the group warned Americans to leave Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Africa and Asia: "Otherwise, you will reap death because of your stupidity in ignoring our warnings to you.

How many warnings have we had now? Starting with the Great Mall Warning of October 2002 and up until the Ramadan warnings (We will get you at the start middle end of Ramadan) there have been at least 50 different tales of terror. I have reacted to each one of them by cowering under my bed.

Either al-Qaeda is playing a game of the The Boy Who Cried Terror or they are just scraping the bottom of their propaganda bucket and trying to scare us.

Either way, I'm done with being frightened out of my wits every single day.

Still, I hope it's not a cheese wheel.


Of course, the story notes that the letter hasn't been authenticated, so the whole thing could be bogus.

But, more importantly, what's wrong with cheese wheels? I loves dem cheese wheels!

Err, the terror warnings like the Malls one didn't come from AQ; they came from our government. AQ doesn't usually say something's going to happen unless there's going to be something planned. Sure, they some times release false threats to keep us on our toes, but I'd take what they say very seriously.

As to being without distinct leadership -- um, most of their leadership is alive and free, including the man the Shrub wanted, Dead or Alive, before he couldn't be found.

You know, the guy who ordered the towers brought down? Osama bin-something-or-another.

I'd take them just as seriously now as I did pre-9/11, when I knew who they were and what they were trying to accomplish.

However, I'm not going to stop doing what I do out in the world simply because they make threats.

Halle-frickin'-lujah, Michele!! You know I can't stand it when you get all freaked out by these eediots. When they make these pronouncements, it's much better just to get excited and sing the Doom Song!

Or those stupid Isotoner gloves. I mean, who thinks those are a nice gift? Sheesh.

Now, if they were to send some lobster with the cheese wheels, I could get into that.

You ever get Isotoner slippers? I have. Sheesh, indeed.

Icky slippers. They remind me of the 80's. Double ick.

Isotoner slippers and leg warmers.

I’ve been treating al Qaida announcements about the same way that I treat any spam – read the first paragraph at most, then toss it. There’s always a threat, but those letters/tapes are just propaganda.

Cheese wheels are bad, but they’re better than fruitcake. Or the new classic, the singing fish..

I'm sure it's basically the same threats our enemies have spewed over and over for decades... but now it seems someone in our Government wants us to know ALL of them... ALL the time.

As long as the right law-enforcement agencies are taking them seriously and following up on them... I'm not too worried.

I never let fear run my life before, and I sure as hell ain't gonna start now.