Operation TIPS: Christmas Decoration Hell
Get your cameras ready, oh faithfull TIPsters. I have a mission for you: Seek and destroy The Evil Overdecorator. You know who I'm talking about; the guy who uses more electricity for his Christmas decorations than an entire small city. The neighbor who makes it look as if the Wal-Mart Christmas department threw up on her lawn.
I have a list of tips so you can determine whether or not you should report your neighbors to the TIPS Christmas hotline:
1. Does the brightness of their lighting display cause low-flying planes to think they are approaching a landing strip?
2. Do they have a soundtrack of sappy Christmas songs playing on repeat all night long?
3. Do they mix in other holidays (Fourth of July, Halloween) with their Christmas decorations?
4. Is their nativity scene represented by cartoon characters or are they using characters that have nothing whatsover to do with Christmas and should not be used in any decorations ever? (see, Pokemon display)
5. Are any of the inflatable decorations over four feet tall?
6. Does a line of cars form down your block from December 1st until New Years, turning your neighborhood into a tourist attraction?
7. Do they charge people to view the lights?
8. Have they turned any of their lawn junk into decorations?
9. Do they have flashing or lighted messages boards whose size rivals that of the Shea Stadium Diamond Vision?
10. Do they force their kids to re-enact The Night Before Christmas on their lawn every night?
11. Do they advertise their display in the local paper?
12. Do they have an animatronic Nutcracker Suite?
13. Is the Santa they hired to "ho-ho-ho" all night long is drunk?
14. Do they have a lighted birthday cake for Jesus?
I think you get the point. I am entrusting that none of you have made any of the above errors in judgment.
Now, I am sending you out into the wild, armed with your cameras to hunt down the perpetrators of any of the above Christmas crimes and report back to me. Rewards to be had for the person who brings in the most offenders. You may also use this opportunity to turn yourself in if you are a guilty party and receive amnesty before one of your neighbors rats on you.
I will be out trolling the streets of Long Island, looking for the most tasteless, tacky decorations I can find. Two words: wire cutters.
I got 'em and I'm not afraid to use them.
I'm having way too much fine finding these tacky pictures. I'll add more as the day goes on. And don't forget to vote in the Bloggerville's Favorite Holiday Movies poll