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hamster dancing on a grave

So you all remember the story of my hamsters, right? A quick recap - Kobe (the male who turned out to be a female) and Akuma had sex. They had a litter. They ate the whole litter. Three weeks later, Kobe was pushing out another litter. A few days later, Kobe was dead, a victim of too much sex in too short a time. Akuma ate the remaining babies and now lives the life a lonely bachelor.

Mike - the newly famous Mike - sent me a link this morning to an online hamster cemetery. I am going to virtually bury Kobe at this repository, a lasting memory to the hamster that couldn't keep her legs closed.

The form asks for an epitaph. I want to do Kobe justice. I tried coming up with limericks, haikus and eloquent eulogies but all I have so far is:

Here lies Kobe, a hamster of mine
Had too many babies in too little time.

The site is a new version of an older site. You can see the old epitaphs here.

So, your Friday mission is to come up with an appropriate epitaph indicitave of the short, but cannibalistic and horny life of Kobe the Hamster. I'll use best one. Just think, your words on a hamster's virtual tombstone. Something to tell the grandkids about.


Here dwelleth Kobe, a strange little critter,
She gave birth to babies, then ate the whole litter.
The she had another, perhaps for dessert?
We never will know, now she sleeps in the dirt.

THEN she had another, of course! Damn the Imperial Spell Gnomes!

Now I've seen everything!

Found he to be she
and then there were more
Now a dead Kobe
my little hamster whore.

Beloved Kobe,
Hamster Slut

Loved to Eat,
And loved to Rut

Did the second,
To do the first.

Ate her Children,
And then she burst.

am i the only one who thinks with a name like Kobe, this should be a haiku?

nympho pet is dead
so rest in peace, cannibal
furry hamster slut

here lies kobe-ster.
'member kids, too much sex will
make you eat your young.

Kobe ate her kids
Had more sex with great gusto
Died for her efforts

i really have nothing better to do today.

poor hampster kobe
in pursuit of orgasm
ate her spawn and died

kinky kobe's dead
it was autoerotic

the hampster is gone
no more acting career in
blockbuster adverts

There once was a hamster named Kobe
Who wanted to screw uncontrollably;
She pushed out two sets
Then ate the new pets
and died, the poor thing, quite ignobly.

Kobe: He ate what was born in front of him.

Here lies Kobe, who's dead of course,
She died 'cuz her hubby was hung like a horse.

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.


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