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when ninjas go bad

Warning: do not post and talk on the phone at the same time. Yes, yes I fell for a hoax. But come on, like this couldn't happen in this country? And you have to admit, it's a pretty funny hoax. And very well done, except for that anycities URL which I may have noticed had I not been so busy yapping away on the phone while I was posting. Multi-tasking bad.

when ninjas go bad

Author of popular website sued for negligence.

A single mother leads a coalition to call for more repsonsibility in controlling information produced from the internet. Her first target--a website about ninjas. Mutton, South Carolina--Margerie Evans, a single mother of three, filed charges on Monday against Robert Hamburger, a 10-year-old Los Angelean, for his portrayal of ninjas in a popular website.

"This young man is encourganging the youth to physically act out violence. Doesn't [Robert] remember Columbine? Where was he on September 11th?" said Ms. Evans in a statement to Reuters. In a prelimary trial, Ms. Evans stated that because of realultimatepower.net, her children have been climbing on the furniture, beating on cats, and "spitting up all over the damn place."

..."Ms. Evans is a hard working Christian mother who is just trying raise her kids right. How can she do that when you've got demented little boys filling the internet with violent lies? People believe anything if it's presented on the internet. It's a dangerous medium that must be controlled carefully" said Ms. Evans' attorney on Monday.

Let's take this one step at a time:

coalition to call for more repsonsibility in controlling information produced from the internet

And I'm going to start the Coalition to have parents be more responsible when letting their kids use the internet.

This young man is encourganging the youth to physically act out violence. Doesn't [Robert] remember Columbine? Where was he on September 11th?" said Ms. Evans in a statement to Reuters. In a prelimary trial, Ms. Evans stated that because of realultimatepower.net, her children have been climbing on the furniture, beating on cats, and "spitting up all over the damn place."

The kid who made the website is ten. He was seven when Columbine happened. I don't think it really enters his mind all that much. And what in the hell does September 11 have to do with ninjas? Am I missing a link here?

Ok, her children have been doing all that stuff and she's blaming it on a website? Lady, your kids can't jump on the furniture, beat catss and spit all over the place if you don't let them. How about a little discipline. How about stopping them from looking at the damn website in the first place. How about a little god damn mothering instead of getting a lawyer to solve your bad parenting problems?


..."Ms. Evans is a hard working Christian mother who is just trying raise her kids right. How can she do that when you've got demented little boys filling the internet with violent lies? People believe anything if it's presented on the internet. It's a dangerous medium that must be controlled carefully" said Ms. Evans' attorney on Monday.

If she was a good Christian mother who was raising her kids right, she would be monitoring their internet use. And if her sons believe anything that's presented on the internet, she hasn't done a very good job of teaching them the difference between reality and fantasy. The dangerous thing that must be controlled here is the need of parents to run for a lawyer every time their idiotic, uncontrolled kids do something wrong. Ms. Evans is only teaching her kids to not accept responsibility for their actions. She is suing a ten year old kid in order to excuse the behavior of her little monsters. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people. What the hell are we teaching our kids? This woman should be laughed at by whatever judge sees her case. She is a lazy parent, a money grubbing, responsibility shirker and her kids will end up being the same. Oh sure, let me hand a you a million dollar settlement because you were too fucking wrapped up in your own little world to watch what your kids were doing or discipline them when they acted out.

Of course, the kid who made the website is no better: "When asked about the lawsuit, Robert Hamburger replied "Ms. Evans is a frigg'n idiot. She needs to shut her mouth right now or I'm going to take a skinny dump on her scalp. "

Despite the lawsuit, Robert says he will continue to tell people how sweet ninjas are "no matter what" and pork as many hot babes as it takes.

Someone needs to smack his him and his parents upside the head.

I.Am.So.Pissed.Off.Right.Now.

(link from the guy with the ten NHL games on his tv)

Comments

Since Ninjitsu (sp?) is a martial art, akin to Karate or Tae Kwon Do, she doesn't have much of a legal leg to stand on.

And of course, there is that whole First Amendment hurdle to overcome as well.

Next she'll be complaining that there's porn on the internet.

How is this website making her kids misbehave? Is it sending out Evil Satanic Brain-Altering Bad Child waves or something? Oh -- wait -- she let her kids go on her computer. Hey lady, if it's really that hard to raise your children and have internet access in your home, then I suggest you turn in your computer for one of those email machines. (So she can still email her mother or her cyber-sex-buddy or something.) Oh -- and better get rid of the tv. And books. No books in the house. That includes the Good Book -- it's full of good old sex 'n' violence. Wouldn't want to expose the kids to that.

Oh, why not just chain the little darlings in the basement? There, that'll teach them to chase the cat and spit.

Mutton?!!!

I consider myself to be oretty serious in my own Christian belifs, but Ms. Evans gives the rest of us a bad name. If her parenting skills are so lame that a stupid website throws her life into a tailspin, she's got serious problems.

As for Mr. Hamburger, he just needs a couple of parents who aren't afraid to beat his smart little ass once in a while.

Well, I guess the word is "pretty," not "oetty," and that was posted by dewey.

Somebody is playing a really funny joke...

I did a pretty extensive post on this, and through some research I found that the whole this is a farce. Funny as hell, but a farce none the less. On Tuesday Oct 29th (I will save the link because It is probably pretty crass to solicit myself on your blog, you know where to go if you wanna read it) I posted all about "Robert Hamburger" and his little law suit.

If you look at the article from CNN about that law suit, the link is: http://www.anycities.com/user/cnnnews/index.html anycities.com is a free web server. The CNN page is very well done, but I believe it is totally fake.

I also donít believe that the kid is 10, because the website is also hosted out of Michigan State University, link below: http://www.msu.edu/~couilla3/ninja/ninja2.htm probably before Robert (If that is his real name) got the domain name realultimatepower.net. I imagine Robert is majoring in "fantasy worlds" at MSU.

I too fell for the site and the hoax within. I think I had possibly let my guard down because I was laughing hysterically. I did not alter my original post to suggest that it was a farce however, mostly because I would love to believe it was true, and because I thought the points I made, as with yours are applicable to that as well as many other scenarios. Oh, I am also lazy.

Personally I think the site is hilarious, and though I agreed that his parents should slap him around, Ms Evans needs a Lobotomy, and the kid is a nimrod, I think he has a fairly creative mind. Even for someone who is older than 10. To bad he can't use it for anything other than filling cyberspace with poo.

P.S. I didnít mean to blow the roof off your post, it was very goodÖ please donít block my IP ;-)

That's a parody darlin' =) Take a look at the URL of that "CNN" page...

The general tone and appearance of the article, combined with the fact that it is not actually hosted on CNN's website, makes me highly skeptical of its veracity. I suspect that it is satirical. Though I suppose I might be proven wrong.

Ack, John beat me to it while I was filling out the comments form!

Uhm, methinks the site is a parody. The root, allcities.com, is a webhosting service. All the links on the page point back to CNN, of course, but they are just embedded in the body, the format just ripped off and new text in place. The picture in the "article" has a url of http://www.msu.edu/%7Ecouilla3/ninja/frisbee2.JPG...CNN would never do that, they come from i.cnn.net instead.

You have, m'dear, been had. So has the guy who watches too much hockey.

Ahhh...the stupidity abounds.

Nothing wrong with being a christian mother, but insulating children from the world isn't going to teach them how to survive in it.

Not to mention what she advocates is censorship, and we all know where that leads. We start down that road and ten years from now we will be living in the United Soviet States of America. I guess some people just never learn.

In the immortal words of Butthead: "Some people are just dumb."

Well crap. I got beat to it as well. Heh.

Ahhh...the stupidity abounds.

Nothing wrong with being a christian mother, but insulating children from the world isn't going to teach them how to survive in it.

Not to mention what she advocates is censorship, and we all know where that leads. We start down that road and ten years from now we will be living in the United Soviet States of America. I guess some people just never learn.

In the immortal words of Butthead: "Some people are just dumb."

>>In the immortal words of Butthead: "Some people are just dumb."

I know I am. The site had me fooled.

This just burns me up. This is exactly the kind of thing I've been talking about for years!! When will it end, oh lord? When will it end.

It's people like this lady, trying to shut down sites like this, that are letting the ninja do their flying decapitations with a free hand! Grrrrr.

Seriously, though, this one is almost crazy enough to be true. Lol.

I like this site very well, having never come here before. I also think the suit is a bad idea because for the reasons you mention: that the child can't be held responsible for his actions and; and that the parent should be more interested in regulating her children's behavior, less upon regulating the world. She is taking the easy way out.

What interests me about the issue is that I sometimes make comments on various sites, and it takes me an effort to be a little guarded in what I'm saying, and to remember that the internet is, after all, a public stage. When you're making a comment, you're not just talking to the person you think you're talking to, but potentially to a child--potentially to the government. D.M.

Parody aside, the sad part is that there are people who actually think like this. The parody wouldn't exist if there were not some grounding in fact.

People can and do blame everyone but themselves for things... their kids misbehaving, their social standing, marital infidelities... you name it. If it happens to you, it's got to be somebody else's fault.

Kind of a funny article if you read it from that viewpoint.

"He has passed puberty" That is great.

yeah but the problem isn't the internet, it's parental monitoring of kids use of the internet. Imean there are things like net nanny, etc. so I'm not sure how you could sue people for their website content for something like that.

People please, there shouldn't be any question as to the authenticity (or lack there of) of this site. Do you really need to check the server to see that the cnn stuff is total, yet hilarious bullshit? Would a worldwide news agency use language like "Afterward, he walked toward the exit, stopped, pulled down his pants and laid a log right on the court room floor." Come on, use a little critical thinking here. I guess the fact that people are confused over this site shows how slick the author is. This is obviously not a kid. The esoteric logic, humor, language and writing style is beyond most children (and I guess adults too) yet is a convincing parody of someone that age. There are plenty of "winks" toward the audience, especially the blatant one at the end of the third ghost story, Le Big Party, where, "The ninja, having scared himself, beat his own ass in a paradoxical way. It was quite confusing for the hippos. But they were mature--they didn’t try to make sense out of non-sense. The hippos moved on, accepting those things they cannot change and surrounded themselves with only positive energy. By not defining what happened that day (or even themselves--their relation to it), they never limited their understanding and they never limited themselves." Do what the author suggests and stop limiting youself by trying to make sense of everything and enjoy the stupidity.

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.

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