« terror terror everywhere | Main | Be good for goodness sake! »

roses are red

roses are red, violets are blue
this little warhead is aimed at you

I have a little blogrolling list that I don't keep linked on the site. It's called "Idiots." It includes sites belonging to Michael Moore, Babs, Ted Rall plus other leftist-extremist sites. I like to read what people who are not on my side of the fence have to say. Sometimes it's enlightening, sometimes it's frightening. And sometimes, well most of the time, it's just amusing.

While cruising through Indymedia today, I found a thread from a person looking for "for anti-war poems, dittis, songs and lyrics, slogans and captions, so on and so forth."

There's only two responses, but I hold out hope that more people will chime in and give me great amusement.

Is it just me or does this "ditty" seem a bit simplistic?

One, two
Shame on you.
Three, Four
No more war.
Five, six
Stop the dirty tricks.
Seven, eight
We can't wait.
Nine, ten
Never again!

I'm opening up the phone lines today, kids. Come up with a pro-invasion or anti-loony left "poems, dittis, songs and lyrics, slogans and captions, so on and so forth," and I promise to go post them over at the Indymedia thread, and depending on how many poems, ditties, etc. I get, award a prize.

Have at it.

TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference roses are red:

» Poetry, As Requested from aka cooties
Michele requested poetry and verse, and here some of my entrants. If I think of more, I'll add them. This first group of poems are revisions of 'As I was going to St Ives', 'Pop! Goes the Weasel', 'Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!', 'Humpty Dumpty', 'Jack and Jill', ... [Read More]

» Poetry by Request II from aka cooties
Herewith, some more poetry as requested by Michele. The previous entries are here. [Read More]

» Contest For Webmasters: Guess Who I Just Interviewed? from Right Wing News
Contest For Webmasters: Guess Who I Just Interviewed?: After being inspired by Small Victory's Pro-War Jingle Contest, I decided to [Read More]

» The Harrelson Report 11/08/02 from The Short Strange Trip
"Boom Shaka Laka Boom" BLOGOLICIOUS Pendulous Pandemonium Wouldn't you know I'd be out of the loop when Sekimori was touting [Read More]

» Poetry by Request III from aka cooties
Anyone between he ages of 3 and 65 should recognise the source of this poem. I'm sure Dr. Seuss is doing 33-1/3 in his grave right now. As before, this was done because of the call for submissions. PbR I is here, and PbR II is here. [Read More]

Comments

One, two, three, four - through the caves we do explore...
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten - I see you
A, B, C, D - I'll put you out of your misery
E, F, G, H, I, J - We'll bomb you

[Bom bom bom bom-pa bom]
BOMB THE PLANT
[bom-pa bom]
SEE THEM FLEE
[bom-pa bom]
TIE THE ROPE
[bom-pa bom]
BOMB THEM PLEASE

All together now, all together now
All together now, all together now
All together now, all together now
All together now, all together now

Black, white, green, red - Too bad now Saddam is dead
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue - We've bombed you

All together now, all together now
All together now, all together now
All together now, all together now
All together now

[Bom bom bom bom-pa bom]
BOMB THE PLANT
[bom-pa bom]
SEE THEM FLEE
[bom-pa bom]
TIE THE ROPE
[bom-pa bom]
BOMB THEM PLEASE

All together now, all together now...

Once upon a midnight dreary,
As I pondered weak and weary,
What Saddam's threats have held in store,
I've heard those U.N. words before.
I've always held them in contempt,
And want to tell them just get bent,
The guy's a madman, not by chance,
And half his weapons come from France.
How I long for a better day,
When all his nukes we take away,
On Arab terror slam the door,
And tell the U.N "Nevermore."

I am crazy about your left boobie.
Your right one's okay, but your left one has that cool kinda wacky look to it.....kinda wiggling around....always changing direction.
Your right one kinda stays there, firm, pert, ready....staring right at me, ready to confront me.
Your left one sometimes doesn't respond, other times does things totally out of the ordinary. I can never tell what it wants.

Now....what were we talking about?

Bushy had a little bomb
Getting ready to blow
And every where that Saddam went
The bomb was sure to go
It followed him to hell one day
Which was just plain cool
It made Americans cheer and say
"Damn the stupid fool"

War!

HUH!

What is it good for?

Protecting our freedoms!

Good god, y'all.

One two three four
Yes we want to fight this war
Five Six Seven Eight
Bomb Saddam, don't hesitate!

Our flag is red,
White and blue too,
What we need in Iraq,
Is a big bloody coup

did I spell coup right? as in coup de tat?

Nuke Iraq with dirty warheads
Fall-all-all-all-all, all-all-all out.

Full disclosure: Someone in the Harvard band wrote this during the Christmas of the Iran hostage situation about Iran. I can't remember the rest, but cobalt-60 worked it's way in there.

Michele,
This little ditty comes from the legendary Chicago punk band Naked Raygun from their "All Rise" CD. Both "All Rise" and "Throb Throb" CDs are perfect for those evenings when you want to turn on CNN and see Baghdad in flames.
Turn this tune "Peacemaker" up to 11. It's that good!

Peacemaker
(J.Pezzati)

I am the Peacemaker
I'll pound sand right up your ass
Our moral codes differ
You are scum...that is all

A trail of shit follows you around
On the edge, it's a hell of a drop
Your number's up
We've got your name and your middle name

A trail of filth follows you around
On the edge
It's a hell of drop

Peacemaker
Peacemaker

Not original, but I still like the "Capitol Steps" ditty "Bomb Bomb Iraq" from their "Sixteen Scandals (1997)" CD.

A nice nursery rhyme:

The itsybitsy missle flew from a UVA
Down to the desert to wipe the bad guys out
Out flew the leg with the tell-tale shin tattoo
And the itsybitsy missile was thanked by me and you.

My contribiutions (so far) are here. I didn't want to occupy too much space on your blog.

Country Joe and the Fish!
"Feel Like I Am Fixin' To Die Rag"
________________________________________
Gimme an F!

F!
Gimme an I!

I!
Gimme an S!

S!
Gimme an H!

H!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get those reds —
The only good commie is the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Huh!

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Why man, this is war au-go-go.
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Viet Cong.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Vietnam.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
__________________________________________

Well, okay it was not originally a pro-war song but I always did like it and it sounds pretty pro-war now...

Country Joe and the Fish!
"Feel Like I Am Fixin' To Die Rag"
________________________________________
Gimme an F!

F!
Gimme an I!

I!
Gimme an S!

S!
Gimme an H!

H!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
What's that spell ?

FISH!
Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get those reds —
The only good commie is the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Huh!

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Why man, this is war au-go-go.
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Viet Cong.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Vietnam.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
__________________________________________

Well, okay it was not originally a pro-war song but I always did like it and it sounds pretty pro-war now...

There once was a dick named Saddam,
who wanted a nuclear bomb,
Whilst France did protest,
we laid him to rest,
By bombing he and his crappy little country back into the Stone Age.

One, two,

Lefty pussy tree huggers smell like poo

Three, four,

Is this who our servicemen are fighting for?

Five, six,

Stupid dicks

Seven, eight,

A bomb will be sure to set them straight

Nine, ten,

Dis the U. S.? Never again! Now step up and fight like men!

We know it's childish but we love to say "smell like poo" and "lefty pussy tree hugger" in the same sentence:-)

C'mon people now,
arm all your weapons
everybody get together
gotta bomb one Hussein right now

George and Dick went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
They came down and
blew the crap out of Saddam Hussein

The End.

On behalf of the Clash I would like to enter "Rock the Casbah" into the contest...

Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The shiek he drove his Cadillac
He went a' cruisnin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille
CHORUS
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
By order of the prophet
We ban that boogie sound
Degenerate the faithful
With that craazy Casbah sound
But the Bedouin they brought out
The electric camel drum
The local guitar picker
Got his guitar picking thumb
As soon as the shareef
Had cleared the square
They began to wail
CHORUS
Now over at the temple
Oh! They really pack 'em in
The in crowd say it's cool
To dig this chanting thing
But as the wind changed direction
The temple band took five
The crowd caught a wiff
Of that crazy Casbah jive
CHORUS
The king called up his jet fighters
He said you better eaarn your pay
Drop your bombs between the minarets
Down the Casbah way
As soon as the shareef was
Chauffeured outta there
The jet pilots tuned to
The cockpit radio blare
As soon as the shareef was
Outta their hair
The jet pilots wailed
CHORUS
He thinks it's not kosher
Fundamentally he can't take it.
You know he really hates it.

One, two, three, four
What the hell are we waiting for?
I don't give a damn
Next missile's pointing at Saddam

I had to try my hand at at my own anti-war chant. Now onto pro-war.

War is bad
It makes me sad
Peace is rad
Bush is a cad
I'm gonna stomp Ashcroft's nad(s)
He's a d*ckhead lad
and Osama's Dad
ran the construction company that rehabbed Mecca
...F*cka!

I had to try my hand at at my own anti-war chant. Now onto pro-war.

War is bad
It makes me sad
Peace is rad
Bush is a cad
I'm gonna stomp Ashcroft's nad(s)
He's a d*ckhead lad
and Osama's Dad
ran the construction company that rehabbed Mecca
...F*cka!

BINGE AND PURGE

Perhaps it's just the way the light falls
But everything looks like a target to me
And I don't know where the gun is
But I'm certain that it's pointed at me

And in the jungle, retched jungle
They say the lion eats tonight
And all around it is a colliseum
Dripping with a voracious appetite

I say hey there, fella
Whose soul are you tormenting now?
Hey there, fella
Whose soul are you tormenting now?

In the course of all the previous events
It is evident that something's bound to happen
Come on, rear your ugly head to me
I've got nothing to lose but my apathy

The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Just try me
Just try me
What are you waiting for?

Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Just rear your ugly fucking head
I'll put it on a platter
Just rear your ugly fucking head
I'll put it on a platter

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Hey there
Hey fella
Hey there
Hey fella

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Just try me
Just try me
What are you waiting for?
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Hey there
Hey fella
Hey there
Hey fella

C!

I knew that was coming :)

Poe is spinning in his grave, now let me slash and burn Jimmy Buffett's words:

Wasted away again Baghdad-Anthraxville,
Searching for Saddam's special weapons vaults.
Some Frenchmen claim that G.W. Bush is to blame,
But I know, it's all Hussein's fault.

(Okay, time for a margarita for sure. And no salt, the last time there were big grains of salt on the glass)

My second, and last cluster of pro-war poems is located here.

I have bastardizing some old favorites for a while as I conduct my bi-weekly vivisections of Richard Cohen. Here's a few excerpts...

Reapin’ the Whirlwind

How many Zimbabweans must starve or take ill
To satisfy Mugabe's pride?
Yes, and how many Jews must be wounded or killed
Before it is called genocide?
Yes, and how many Democrats can muster the will
To fight on the President's side?
The Evil Ones, my friend, can't wait to kill again
The Axis is reapin' the whirlwind.

How many times must the despots destroy
The lives of their own citizens?
Yes, and how many times must the US accept
Such grief from her allies and friends?
Yes and how many more must be injured or killed
By Saddam, Yasser or bin Laden?
The Evil Ones, my friend, can’t wait to kill again
The Axis is reapin’ the whirlwind.

Spann, Olson, Beamer

Anybody here seen my old friend Johnny?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He dearly loved his country
But it seems the good die young,
But I just looked around and he's gone.

Anybody here seen my old friend Barbara?
Can you tell me where she's gone?
She taught a lot of people,
But it seems the good die young,
But I just looked around and she's gone.

Anybody here seen my old friend Todd?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He saved a lot of people,
But it seems the good die young,
But I just looked around and he's gone.

Didn't you love the things they stood for?
Didn't they try to find some good for you and me?
And we'll be free.
Someday soon, it's gonna be
One day.

Anybody here seen my old friend Mychal?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin'
Up over the hill,
With Johnny, Barbara and Todd.

I-Feel-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Sigh-Rag

Come on all of you big strong men
Richard Cohen’s getting’ Scourged again.
Yeah, he’s slanderin’ Bush on Afghanistan
This week it’s gonna be Vietnam.
So get a browser, I’m almost done
Gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And its 1, 2, 3, what is he writin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn.
This week it’s Vietnam.
And its 5, 6, 7, Dickie and his squirrelly hates
Well, ain’t got time to wonder why
Whoopee, we’re all gonna sigh.

Yeah, S U Vs, now don't be slow,
Enron, ANWR, war au-go-go
There's plenty good money to be made
In the oil business for Cheney’s mates
Just hope and pray that all the evidence
Don’t lead us to Billy Jeff.

And its 1, 2, 3, what is he writin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn.
This week it’s Vietnam.
And its 5, 6, 7, Dickie and his squirrelly hates
Well, ain’t got time to wonder why
Whoopee, we’re all gonna sigh.

Well, come on Democrats, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Regain the house and the presidency
Keepin’ those Republicans in the minority
And our final sign of victory’s
Electing President Hillary!

And its 1, 2, 3, what is he writin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn.
This week it’s Vietnam.
And its 5, 6, 7, Dickie and his squirrelly hates
Well, ain’t got time to wonder why
Whoopee, we’re all gonna sigh.

My better half just composed this one:

Two, four, six, eight
Watch Ol' Saddam detonate

And it's one, two, three
What are we fightin for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Club Saddam

And it's five, six seven
Open up the pearly gates
Ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopie Saddam's gonna die

1,2,3,4
I won't fight your war on ter-ror
5,6,7,8
Help bring back the caliphate!

For All It's Worth

There's something happenin here
What it is is totally clear
there's a man with WMD's over their
telling us we gotta beware

Stop! Hey, what's that sound
Daisycutters following around.

There's clear lines being drawn
Michael Moore is dramatically wrong
Smart people speakin there mind
Idiotarians falling far behind

Stop! Hey, what's that sound
opposition falling all around

Here's your dissenting opinion - 1/2 a mile away:

http://www.interventionmag.com/cms/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=232

"The district justice accused Allegheny County police of being overzealous when they handcuffed Neel and arrested him because he refused to be herded into the chain-link fenced in area reserved for protesters almost a half-mile away from where Bush would speak. “I just think they went a little too far,” she commented after making her ruling, “because everyone has the right to protest.”

Farrell introduced into evidence photographs I shot at that Labor Day event. They showed anti-Bush protesters confined behind the chain-link fence at a baseball park along the Bush motorcade route and people with pro-Bush signs lining the street where the motorcade would proceed. "

oops wrong place, I'll repost it.

with apologies to Bob Seegar:

Now take those old missles off the shelf
If you won't do it then I'll launch 'em myself
The only way Saddam'll give up control...
Let's make ol' Baghdad Rock and Roll

Call me a relic,call me out of touch
I have a daughter who says as much
but to keep her out of burkah and shawl
I say let Baghda Rock and Roll

not used with permission

"800 US troops deploy to Djibouti to seek al-Quaeda forces" - News Item

We gonna shake, shake, shake Djibouti.

Speaking as one who's old enough to remember when Country Joe sang that in the first place, I gotta say he would probably not agree with his anti-Vietnam rag turned into a pro-war ditty. Some of the takes on it aren't bad, though.

Fascist totalitarianism is lame!
Somone bitch-slap Saddam Hussein!

BWWAAAAAHAHA!!!

1-800-MARINES

BEEEATCH!

I'm Joe Friday and my partner is Bill Gannon. We work the vice beat for the Bagdad Police department.

My partner and I were killing time at the downtown Bagdad precinct house when the call came in from Saddam's Presedential Palace #65937b. The man on the phone reported an unexpected delivery of ordinance.
We hopped into the squad car and made our way to the scene as fast as possible, considering many government facilities appeared to be receiving similar deliveries.
When we arrived we found a nice little lady at the side of the road, standing in front of a smoking crater.
"My husband! My husband! Ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu..."
"Are you Mrs Hussien?" I asked.
"...ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu..."
"Ma'am, I need the facts, just the facts."
"...ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu..."
"Were you in the house when the package was delivered?"
"...ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu-ulu..."
I lifted the heavy material covering her face and saw that even though she had been making that horrid noise for over five minutes, she was still of good color. My, such healthy older women are a credit to a country.
"Ma'am, we've called the fire department and they said they would have a truck here as soon as they extinguished the fires at the other 700 Presidential Palaces. I don't see that there is much we can do here. Here is my card. Please call if you think of anything else."
As we drove back to the station I wondered aloud to Bill, "What do you think she does to get in shape for making that sound?"

Not a ditty or a poem, but more a slogan:

Yo! Saddam!
We can kick your booty from the comfort of Djibouti

MikeS branches out into prose, and I feel the thread taking on a second wind. Funny stuff, BTW, Mike. Takes me back to watching that show when I was...er...an infant. Never mind.

Sung to the tune of "Dixie" (as in, "I wish I was in Dixie ...")

I'm on my way to kill Bin Laden
9-11 not forgotten
Run away, run away, run away, little man.

I'm off to join the army, to-day, to-day
In Muslim Land I'll take my stand
and kill that godless bastard.

Away, away, run away, little man
Today, today, better pray, little man.

Jimmy wants peace, but I don't care!
Jimmy wants peace, but I don't care!
Jimmy wants peace, but I don't caaarreee!!!!
The bastard has to pay.

(so sad. so weak. i'm desperate.)

All we are saying/
Is kick Hussein's ass.

An original, by Blue, marching cadance:

left, left, left right left

I don't kow but it's been say-ed
I don't kow but it's been say-ed

Saddam takes pills just to get laid
Saddam takes pills just to get laid

They say he gasses his own peeps
They say he gasses his own peeps

And I heard that he fucks his sheeps
And I heard that he fucks his sheeps

When I get home I'll truley say
When I get home I'll truley say

I killed Saddam the 'Merican way
I killed Saddam the 'Merican way

I shoved a grenade us his ass
I shoved a grenade us his ass

Then destroyed all his poison gas
Then destroyed all his poison gas

Bombed his castles one by one
Bombed his castles one by one

Each one with a megaton
Each one with a megaton

sound off
one two
sound off
three four
sound off
one two three four one two, THREE FOUR

Here are a couple chants from US soccer games I've attended.
On Oct. 7th, 2001, the US Men were beating Jamaica 2-1 to qualify for the World Cup. As news of the opening air strikes in Afghanistan spread throughout Foxboro Stadium, many wags started singing, "If your country's bombing someone, clap your hands!" (clap, clap, clap).
The other chant I like is, "We've got nukes, yes we do! We've got nukes, how 'bout you?"

We should kill him, would be thrillin'
Just to kill him 1,2,3,4

Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
Police are gonna have Saddam
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
and bomb him right through the ground!

Nuking the night away
Nuking the night away

If he does attack, we're gonna drop a stack
of missiles on his back, to get him of our back
and we'll shoot him right up the ass

Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
Police are gonna have Saddam
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
and bomb him right through the ground!
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
Police are gonna have Saddam
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
and bomb him right through the ground!

we should kill now, should kill now, before its too late

And if he isn't dead i'll shoot him in the head
while he is in bed, we think his blood ain't red
cos its green from nuclear waste

Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
Police are gonna have Saddam
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
and bomb him right through the ground!
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
Police are gonna have Saddam
Lets hunt him down, shoot him in the head
and bomb him right through the ground!

I support military action in Iraq, but I also think we need to be aware of the utter seriousness of this matter. It's not a football game or a fireworks show. In that spirit, here are a few lines from Randall Jarrell's poem, "losses."
*****
We died like aunts or pets or foreigners.
(When we left high school nothing else had died
For us to figure we had died like.)
...
We read our mail and counted up our missions--
In bombers named for girls, we burned
The cities we had learned about in school--
Till our lives wore out; our bodies lay among
The people we had killed and never seen.
When we lasted long enough they gave us medals;
When we died they said, "Our casualties were low."

The said, "Here are the maps"; we burned the cities.

(Randall Jarrell served in the Army Air Force in WWII)

This is from my 9 year old:

DIE!YOU...YOU SCUM! DIE,DIE! DIE SCUM... IN FLAMES! DIE SCUM DIE!!!!!!!!

sniffle
I'm so proud.

It's not original, so I'm not entering the contest. But have a look anyway.

http://www.bigfatbaby.com/newfun2/flash/saddam.swf

I suspect that a recent post on my site may sentence me to the 'idiots' list...

Although I suspect I may be there already. I think that God has one too, and I'm definitely on THAT...

Be our guest
Be our guest
Put our weapons to the test
For you know that we will whoop you with one hand behind our vest
Stealth bomber, cruise missle
You will get what you deserve
For you know that you won't get far
Don't believe me ask Shiek Omar
He don't sing
He don't dance
After all sir we ain't France
And you'll never get another second's rest
So go crawl underground
Where you will soon be found
With a hole
In your chest
You frick'n pest
Be our guest

Well, there's always this old standby:
(I enjoyed watching Jimmy Carter sing this on September 13th or so)

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning
Of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.

Chorus
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watchfires
Of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar
In the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence
By the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.

Chorus

I have read a fiery gospel writ
In burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with My contemners,
So with you My grace shall deal":
Let the Hero born of woman
Crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.

Chorus

He has sounded forth the trumpet
That shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men
Before His judgement seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him;
Be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.

Chorus

In the beauty of the lilies
Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom
That transfigures you and me;
As He died to make men holy,
Let us die to make men free;
While God is marching on.

Chorus

This one is STILL hard to top:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning
Of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.

Chorus
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watchfires
Of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar
In the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence
By the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.

Chorus

I have read a fiery gospel writ
In burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with My contemners,
So with you My grace shall deal":
Let the Hero born of woman
Crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.

Chorus

He has sounded forth the trumpet
That shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men
Before His judgement seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him;
Be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.

Chorus

In the beauty of the lilies
Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom
That transfigures you and me;
As He died to make men holy,
Let us die to make men free;
While God is marching on.

Chorus

Sorry about the dupe: your software returns "fatal" errors and yet still posts

I can't believe no one has posted this yet ....

Randy Newman - Political Science

No one likes us
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
But all around even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one and see what happens.

We give them money
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful
And they're hateful.
They don't respect us so let's surprise them;
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them.

Now Asia's crowded
And Europe's too old.
Africa's far too hot,
And Canada's too cold.
And South America stole our name.
Let's drop the big one; there'll be no one left to blame us.

Bridge:
We'll save Australia;
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo.
We'll build an all-American amusement park there;
They've got surfing, too.

Well, boom goes London,
And boom Paris.
More room for you
And more room for me.
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town.
Oh, how peaceful it'll be;
We'll set everybody free;
You'll have Japanese kimonos, baby,
There'll be Italian shoes for me.
They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.
Let's drop the big one now.

(I think Randy was being sarcastic ... but I prefer the literal listening)

Or this one, also sarcastic, but what the heck:

When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve,
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,
They have their place, I guess,
But first - send the Marines!

We'll send them all we've got,
John Wayne and Randolph Scott;
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli,
But not to Mississippoli.

What do we do?
We send the Marines!
For might makes right,
And till they've seen the light,
They've got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
Till somebody we like can be elected.

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war;
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression,
Ooh, we hate that expression!

We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo.
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt, Send the Marines!

(Tom Lehrer)

Wish I could come up with something original. Here's a classic running cadence. Change the tyrant's name/country to suit the times:

When I get to Iraq
Saddam's gonna say,
How'd you get to Iraq
In just one day?
I reply with a whole lotta anger,
Blood and guts and a little bit of danger!!
That's the life of a Recon Ranger!

Hoorah...brings a tear to my eye. Metallica's Seek and Destroy was popular with the troops in Gulf War I also - my favorite part:

There is no escape
and that is for sure
This is the end we won't take any more
Say goodbye
to the world you live in
You have always been taking
but now you're giving

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths

Apologies to Bob Marley. Sing "Chase them crazy baldheads" and replace "Baldheads" with a derogatory term for Mulim extremeists involving linen.

We gonna chase them crazy t%w*lheads
outta town
Chase them crazy to*e$heads
outta town.

Here come the imam
Coming with his Koran
We can't take fatwaaah, gotta stay aliiiive

Repeat chorus

Build your madrassah, we buy your oil
Didn't my people before me,
give aid to this country
Now you look me with your scorn
Then you bomb Army Dorm.

repeat chorus

There are other parts I can't remember now.

Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza, Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza!
Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza, Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza!

Now that the party is jumping
With the airstrikes called in, Iraq’s ready for a stompin'
Drop a thermobaric bomb and, no fakin’,
Fry Saddam Hussein like a pound of bacon
And the House of Saud, if they ain't quick and nimble –
Osama’s head on a pike is our victory symbol
When Condi’s on the scene, you know what I mean
She ain’t gonna stop ‘till she’s wasted Arafat’s fiends
Middle East problem – she can solve it
Check out the hook while the DJ revolves it

Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza, Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza!
Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza, Rice, Rice, Baby! Condoleeza!

(Normally, I'd end something like this with "Apologies to Vanilla Ice," but I think Vanilla Ice owes the rest of us an apology for the original!)

Let's hear it for Merle Haggard!

The Fightin' Side of Me

I hear people talking bad about the way
They have to live here in this country,
Harpin' on the wars we fight,
And gripin' 'bout the way things ought to be.

I don't mind them switchin' sides and standin' up for things they believe in,
But when they're runnin' down my country, man,
They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me,
Runnin' down the way of life our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
If you don't love it, leave it, let this song that I'm singin' be a warnin',
When you're runnin' down my country, man,
You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

I read about some squirley guy who claims
That he just don't believe in fightin',
And I wonder just how long the rest of us can count on bein' free.
They love our milk and honey but they preach about some other way of livin',

When they're runnin' down my country, hoss,
They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

Here’s something I came up with about a year ago. It’s a little dated now, but I still like it.

OSAMA IS AN EVIL MAN
(to the tune of GOOD KING WENCESLAS)

Osama is an evil man
Don’t know what he’s doin’
Now we’ll bomb Afganistan
’Til it is a ruin
Special Forces’ skill and nerve
Sure to find and kill him
It’s only what he deserves
’Cause he is a villain

The Taliban, we won’t forget,
Are hiding him in caverns
They don’t believe in TV sets
Or hanging out in taverns
They much prefer a Holy War
Mullahs have decreed it
Better have some Kev-e-lar
’Cause they’re gonna need it

Here comes another Tomahawk
Better duck and cover
Abrams tanks will make you squawk
And run home to your mother
Americans you need not fear
’Til you raise our ire
Now that they’ve attacked us here
Their future’s looking dire

Claymore mines and RPGs
Humvees and a Bradly
Nightsight goggles; MREs
We outgun them badly
Smart bombs; Napalm; mini-gun
Cluster bombs a-popping
When our kicking ass is done
We’ll all go back shopping

(Copyright 2001. All rights reserved)

OK so I stole it from Outkast but it's a good one!

OUTKAST LYRICS

"B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad)"

[Dre]
1, 2.. 1, 2, 3; yeah!
Inter-national, underground
Thunder pounds when I stomp the ground (Woo!)
Like a million elephants with silverback orangutans
You can't stop a train
Who want some? Don't come un-pre-pared
I'll be there, but when I leave there
Better be a household name
Weather man tellin' us it ain't gon' rain
So now we sittin' in a drop-top, soakin wet
In a silk suit, tryin' not to sweat
Hits somersaults without the net
But this'll be the year that we won't forget
One-Nine-Nine-Nine, and brutha anything goes, be whatchu wanna be
Long as you know consequences, to give and for livin' defenses
Too hot, I'm jumpin' jail
Too low to dig, I might just touch hell
HOT! Get a life, now they gon' sell
Then I might catch you a spell, look at what came in the mail
A scale and some Arm and Hammer, so grow grid and some baby mñma
Black Cadillac and a pack of pampers
Stack of question with no answers
Cure for cancer, cure for AIDS
Make a nigga wanna stay on tour for days
Get back home, things are wrong
We're not really able to spend all alone
before he left, (?), to a ball of power
Thousands of thousands miles per hour
Hello, ghetto, let your brain breathe,
believe there's always more, ahhhhh!

[Chorus: 2X]
[Dre] Don't pull the thang out, unless you plan to bang
[Choir] Bombs over Baghdad!
[Dre] Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something
[Choir] Bombs over Baghdad!
[Dre] Yeah! Uhh-huh

[Big Boi]
Uno, dos, tres, it's on
Did you ever think a pimp rock a microphone?
Like that there boi and will still stay street
Big things happen every time we meet
Like a track team, crack fiend, dyin to geek
Outkast bumpin' up and down the street
Slam back, Cadillac, 'bout five nigga deep
Seventy-five emcee's freestylin' to the beat
Cause we get krunk, stay drunk, at the club
Should have bought an ounce, but you caught the dub
Should have held back, but you throwed the punch
'Spose to meet your girl but you packed a lunch
No D to-the U to-the G for you
Got a son on the way by the name of Bamboo
Got a little baby girl four year, Jordan
Never turn my back on my kids for them
Should have hit it (hit it) quit it (quit it) rag (rag) top (top)
Before you read up, get a laptop
Make a business for yourself, boy, set some goals
Make a fair diamond out of dusty coals
Record number four, but we on a roll
Hold up, slow up, stop, control
Like Janet, planets, Stankonia is only
A movin' like floor commin' straight to Florida
Lock all your windows then block the quarters
Pullin' off on bell 'cause a whippins in order
Like a three piece fist, 'fore I cut your daughter
Yo quiero Taco Bell, then I hit the border
Penny pap rappers tryin' to get the five
I'm a microphone fiend tryin' to stay alive
When you come to ATL boi you better not hide
cause the Dungeon Family gon' ride, hah!

[Chorus: 2X]
[Dre] Don't pull the thang out, unless you plan to bang
[Choir] Bombs over Baghdad!
[Dre] Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something
[Choir] Bombs over Baghdad!
[Dre] Yeah! Uhh-huh

[Choir]
Bombs over Baghdad! Yeah
Bombs over Baghdad! Yeah
Bombs over Baghdad! Yeah
Bombs over Baghdad! Yeah

[Dre]
B-I-G, B-O-I
An-An-Andre
To the T-O-P

[Dre and Big Boi: 15X]
Bob your head. Rag top.

(1, 2.. 1, 2, 3, 4) (Gimme some)

[Choir: 23X]
Bible music. Electric revival.

Ahh, ahem - is it "Rockin" the Casbah, or "Rocket" the Casbah?

Fresh off my penguin screed, I am going for EXTRA BONUS POINTS by using the UNIMAGINABLY COMPLEX "Bare Naked Ladies / One week" song as my musical accompanyment. Accompament. Acompamyment. Whatever.

I'm timing it for the final voting. The song will have a useful life of a few hours.

It's been
one week since the GOP
took the congress back and said "we're angry"

Five days
I've been watching news
Saddam, man, I'm glad I'm not in YOUR shoes

Three days till you hear the boom
might want board the windows on the bedroom

Yesterday
I sure hoped I'd see
precision strikes against everything Iraqi

Hold on now and watch the French blink
I'm sure that they think
That they have stopped The Cowboy Nation

They're telling us not to fuss, get on their surrender bus
I like the Marines 'cause never lose a battle, man

Like Nagasaki during Last Time
We'll use our nukes prime
Because we're all about value

Fisk will have a bunch of mad fits
He'll try to match wits
You'll have to keep yourself from laughing

Gonna make a break and take that fake
and make that stinkin commie shake
I'd like to kill him, it's the finest of the favours

Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know
That Baathist crap has got to go
Cause it's so dangerous, and we're never gonna waver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad

Trying hard not to smile though you feel bad

I'm NOT the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Can't understand what I mean?

Well, you soon will

We have a tendency to keep our minds on the job

We have a history of taking no more shit...

Kipling's "The Screw Guns"

Jest send out your chiefs and surrender;
in person or call us by phone.
You can drive a carpool,
If you do you're a fool,
'cause you can't get away from the drones.

Jest send out your chiefs an' surrender
if not we will powder your bones
you can turn on your cell,
then you'll end up in hell,
'Cause you can't get away from the drones

Here's one that showed up at The Anti Idiotarian Rottweiler
http://www.nicedoggie.net/archives/000476.html

The Universal Croaker

He's five foot-two, and he's six feet-four,
Though the fight is right he always interferes.
He's all of ninety-one, and he's only seventeen,
An appeaser for a thousand years.

He's a Catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, a Jain,
A Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew.
And he wishes no one killed,
Wishful thinking unfulfilled
While it clears aggression's path to me and you.

He's appeasing for Canadians,
Appeasing for the French,
He's appeasing for the USA,
Appeasing for the Russians,
And appeasing for Japan,
And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way.

He's appeasing for Democracy,
Appeasing for the Reds,
He says it's for the peace of all.
He's the one who tries to hide
All the extra who have died,
And he never sees the writing on the wall.

And without him,
How would Hitler have advanced beyond the Czechs?
Without him Stalin would have had no pawn.
He's the one who's thoughtless blessings
lead to later larger war,
And without him extra killing can't go on.

He's the Universal Croaker and he really is to blame,
His caring hides a hate-filled vicious core.
It strikes here and there and you and me,
And brothers can't you see,
That shooting ain't the only kind of war.

derivpo8 on November 1, 2002 06:52 PM

Here's a modest proposal from your Emperor:

Let's vandalize an old Tom Lehrer song, shall we?

(Originally "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park". Not that any of you young whippersnappers know the original, but I like it, so there.)

Fall is here and war is near,
Life is marching bands, flags and beer,
I think the loveliest time of the year is the Fall.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do!

But there's one thing that makes Fall complete for me,
And makes watching FOX such a treat for me:

All the world seems alright
On a November night
When we're bombing the ragheads in Iraq.
Every evening you'll see
Our "Be All You Can Be"s
As they're bombing the ragheads in Iraq.

When they see our bombers, the weasels all turn and flee.
But they still turn to grease spots when pelted with TNT.
The free world will cheer
And I'll have one more beer
While we're bombing the ragheads in Iraq,

dedee,dumdedeedeedee...

We've made our decision
And caused much derision
In the United Nations
With our war.
They've called it "simplisme"
And "Im-pe-ria-lisme"
And much more such jism
That we've all heard before...

But it's not like we asked their opinions
About what to do with their minions...

So if you're young and strong,
Why don't you come along,
And we'll bomb all the ragheads in Iraq.
And maybe we'll nuke
A Saudi or two
While we're bombing the ragheads in Iraq.

We'll kick all their asses back to the third century,
With every last weapon we've got in our inventory.
My smile will be widening
With each bolt of lightning
We unleash on the fuckers,
We'll wipe out the suckers,
The damnable ragheads of Iraq...!

One more dissenting opinion, just for completeness' sake:

But it's not like we asked their opinions
About what to do with their minions...

Exactly. The other 180+ countries in the world can go all to hell for all we care, right? They're not America, so fuck them! We're the U.S.! We can attack whomever we want whenever we want however we want, and if you don't like that, France, go stick your head up your ass!

Try stopping to consider there might be SOME value in the ideas and suggestions of the rest of the world, even if you don't want to listen to the American LEFT.

By the way, your typical antiwar protestor these days is protesting against unilateral preemptive attacks, not war on its own. The no war whatsoever crowd has mostly realized sometimes you have to fight back.

Not original, of course, but still the best (so far) from a professional musician:

I know I said I love you,
I know you know it's true,
I've got to put the phone down,
and do what we got to do.
One's standing in the aiselway,
Two more at the door,
We've got to get inside there,
Before they kill some more.

Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.
Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.

No time for indecision,
We've got to make a move,
I hope that were foregiven,
For what we got to
How this all got started,
I'll never understand,
I hope someone can fly this thing,
Get us back to land.

Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.
Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.

No one has the answer,
But one thing is true,
You've got to turn on evil,
When it's coming after you,
You've gota face it down,
And when it tries to hide,
You've gota go in after it,
And never be denied,
Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.

Let's roll for freedom,
Let's roll for love,
Going after Satan,
On the wings of a dove,
Let's roll for justice,
Let's roll for truth,
Let's not let our children,
Grow up fearful in their youth.

Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.
Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.
Time is runnin' out,
Let's roll.

--Neil Young

'We can attack whomever we want whenever we want however we want...', which, if true, would have happened by now.

What is it that the 180+ countries are saying that hasn't been said repeatedly and pointlessly in the past 12-years? Why do you believe Saddad Hussein, who has proved time again he cares little for his own people, and less what the UN thinks, is going to suddenly be won over by peaceful solutions?

Y'know wat I say:

FUCK the UN! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck the UN!

(Fuck 'em!)

(Eat your heart out, Kevin...)

Its not anti-war, but it was stuck in my head. Apoligies to Paul Henning and the Beverly Hillbillies.

The Ballad of Ted Mondale

Come'n listen to my story about a man named Ted
To Big Moneyed Interests he was gladly wed.
And then one day while sittin' on a board
Out of the East came the Democratic hoard.
Dems that is! Social Goals! The Kennedy's!

Well, the first thing ya know Ted's a nominee
Lib-folk said "Ted, a senator you should be.
Said Washington is the place y'ought to be
So he took his ol' ideas and longed for DC.
Capitol Hill that is! Spending Bills! Tax Money!

Ol' Ted had to debate, Lawdy he was weak.
Upstart Norm Wouldn't give the guy a break.
Lotsa folk objected, but Norm found his fault
Defendin' ol' ideas was way too difficult.
Liberal that is! Socialism! Tax hikes!

Well now its time to say goodby to Ted and all the Dems
An' we would like to Thank You for votin' Norman in.
You're all invited back again to this locality
T'have a heapin' helpin'of Bush prosperity.
Republican, that is! Conservitism! Tax Cuts!
Y'all come back, Here.

Because of the other lengthy entries, I was compelled to add one more to my list of submissions. As with the others, I dumped it onto my own site.

To the tune of "Short People"

Saddam Hussein's got
No reason
Saddam Hussein's got
No reason
Saddam Hussein's got
No reason to live
He's got little bombs,
He's got little spies,
He tells the UN great big lies,
He's got little rifles
And nasty little tanks
He's gonna take a
Missile up his flank

Well I
Don't want Saddam Hussein
Don't want Saddam Hussein
Don't want Saddam Hussein 'round me

Hussein people are just as peaceful as you and me
Fool, don't you see?
All nations have the right to double-you-em-dee
And you're outa your mind

Saddam Hussein's got
No body
Saddam Hussein's got
No body
Saddam Hussein's got
No body no more
We sent a cruise missile
Into his palace
And we dropped a bunker buster
Right on his ass
We shot little radars that said
"Beep beep beep"
And rolled into Bagdad with our
Jeep Jeep Jeeps [sorry, that was weak]

Well we
Won't stop till old Hussein's
Won't stop till old Hussein's
Won't stop till old Hussein's deceased.

Christmas is a-comin', and so is war.

Let's break out some of those old favorite carols:

Iraquis we have heard on high,
Weeping loudly through the night,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing from planes in flight
Gloria in excessive carnage
Gloria in excessive carnage

Shepherds lying mute and mum
Why these songs of dreary glum?
What great brightness did you see?
What bombflash has blinded thee?
Gloria in excessive carnage
Gloria in excessive carnage

Come to Baghdad and see
All the guns shot off freely
Come in chains on bended knee
Hateful Arabs and Saudis
Gloria in excessive carnage
Gloria in excessive carnage

See them in the fields laid
Whom the mullahs praise above;
Israel, you lend your aid,
While we raise our fisted glove
Gloria in excessive carnage
Gloria in excessive carnage
Gloria in excessive carnage
---
Dashing through the sky
In a one-seat F-16
Above the fields we fly
Strafing all the way
Bombs on mountains fall
Making craters deep
What fun it is to find and
The Iraquis in their sleep

Oh,

Killing them, killing them
Killing all the day
Oh what fun it is to kill
For the good old USA!
Killing them, killing them
Killing all the day
Oh what fun it is to kill
For the good old USA!

---

Here's one for our Jewish friends:

I have a little landmine
I covered it with clay
And when a soldier steps on it
He'll die for the USA

Oh, landmine, landmine, landmine
I covered it with clay
And when a soldier steps on it
He'll die for the USA
---

Bagdhad sidewalks, empty sidewalks
Fled from by refugees
In the air there's a feeling of terror
Children crying, people dying
Trudging miles and miles
Trying to reach Pakistan

Special ops
Special ops
It's CIA time in Iraq
Torturing
Saddam's men
Asking them where the fucker's gone

--

Saddam got run over by a HumVee
Walking to his palace on Christmas Eve
You can say our Army boys are inept
But as for me and George Bush, we believe
--

Have a holly jolly jihad!
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be smallpox
But have a cup of fear!

--

Okay, I'll stop now.

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer on the UN
I'd hammer out "material breaches"
All over Saddam
We tried diplomacy
Let's try blunt force trauma
Let's hammer those dorks that stall on the Security Council
Overplaying their ha-ands

If I had a mandate
From the legislative branch
I'd get unilateral
All over Saddam
If you're gonna play with nerve gas
We'll regime-change your sorry ass
Despite all the Frogs and Krauts and the Arabs and the Russkies
It's all over, Sad-aaam

If I had a bomber
And assured aerial superiority
I'd be blowing up Saddam's stuff
All over this land
I'd blow up Scud sites
And baby milk dairies
I'd be bombing out bunkers and barracks and Bonior and McDermott
All over Ira-aaq

Now we've got a mandate
And a UN resolution
And aerial superiority
From here to Iran
It's all over for Saddam, bub
Time to to clean out the Baath tub
No more parades or rallies or Presidential Palaces
Buddy, your da-aaaaamned

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer on the UN
I'd hammer out "material breaches"
All over Saddam
We tried diplomacy
Let's try blunt force trauma
Let's hammer those dorks that stall on the Security Council
Overplaying their ha-ands

If I had a mandate
From the legislative branch
I'd get unilateral
All over Saddam
If you're gonna play with nerve gas
We'll regime-change your sorry ass
Despite all the Frogs and Krauts and the Arabs and the Russkies
It's all over, Sad-aaam

If I had a bomber
And assured aerial superiority
I'd be blowing up Saddam's stuff
All over this land
I'd blow up Scud sites
And baby milk dairies
I'd be bombing out bunkers and barracks and Bonior and McDermott
All over Ira-aaq

Now we've got a mandate
And a UN resolution
And aerial superiority
From here to Iran
It's all over for Saddam, bub
Time to to clean out the Baath tub
No more parades or rallies or Presidential Palaces
Buddy, you're da-aaaaamned

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer on the UN
I'd hammer out "material breaches"
All over Saddam
We tried diplomacy
Let's try blunt force trauma
Let's hammer those dorks that stall on the Security Council
Overplaying their ha-ands

If I had a mandate
From the legislative branch
I'd get unilateral
All over Saddam
If you're gonna play with nerve gas
We'll regime-change your sorry ass
Despite all the Frogs and Krauts and the Arabs and the Russkies
It's all done, Sad-aaam

If I had a bomber
And assured aerial superiority
I'd be blowing up Saddam's stuff
All over this land
I'd blow up Scud sites
And baby milk dairies
I'd be bombing out bunkers and barracks and Bonior and McDermott
All over Ira-aaq

Now we've got a mandate
And a UN resolution
And aerial superiority
From here to Iran
It's all over for Saddam, bub
Time to to clean out the Baath tub
No more parades or rallies or Presidential Palaces
Buddy, you're da-aaaaamned

Whoops. Sorry 'bout the trifecta.

I have a little bomber
And it drops a little bomb
It makes a little parking lot
Where once was a Saddam

I have a little Party
Who won a little fight
That proved we voters want defense
So we can sleep at night

I have a little Dubya
Who has a little plan
He wants to send the Baathists
Where he sent the Taliban

I have a little council
Who quarrels every day
And if I just ignore them
I suspect they'll go away

I have some little militants
Who want a little war
And when my bomber finds them
They'll be dark spots on the floor

I have a little Baathist
Who says that war is wrong
But he pays the little militants
From Verse 5 of this song

I have a little bone to pick
With all my little foes
We will not just lay down and die
And that's the way it goes

I have a little bomber
And it drops a little bomb
Osama was no match for it
And neither is Saddam.

- Erin Hope Blockley

All we are saying

Is give war a chance

Ode to Saddam

Daisy cutters we will send you,
B-2 Bombers by the score.
Special forces they will rend you
Until Saddam is no more!

Gas your people, torture the helpless, sponsor the terrorist machine!
You will find you've met your match when we send Uncle Sam's Marines!

Joyful, joyful when you're vanquished,
joyful, joyful when you're gone.
Let the joy of freedom prosper
Let Iraq rise up in song!

Then Iraqis, both men and women
will lift their faces to the sun!
They will shout Death to all tyrants!
Then we'll know our work is done!

"No justice, no peace," anyone?